La la la la. Sorry, I don't have anything profound to say. Not like that's too unusual. But it would be nice if it was. I'm off caffiene right now. And chocolate. It's horrible. I can't even eat Almond Joys! It's for health reasons, so I suppose I can be patient. Luckily cream soda is still on the 'okay' list. I mean it's bad enough to stay away from Pepsi Vanilla, but if I couldn't have cream soda, I might have some sort of weird breakdown.
3/21/04
You know, I really really hate it when people don't try when I'm playing against them. How am I ever suppose to improve if my opponent is being condescending. I say always play to win. And never underestimate your opponent.
3/18/04
You know that book Insomnia by Stephen King? Well I half-way believe that I'm going to start seeing auras the way I've been sleeping. Next week is spring break. Am I excited? I don't know. I don't really care. I kind of like school. But I also hate the thin walls of this room. I have to hear every single disgusting conversation they have next door.
3/16/04
Don't worry. I've calmed down now. Estoy cansada. I should find a recording of Brahm's Lullaby. Maybe I would sleep better.
3/14/04
OK. I have to rant somewhere about this. The heart can't be trusted. It's subjective and blind. And if you're going to make an important life decision, you should use your head. Emotions change. Feelings change. People change. Personally I think you should look before you leap. Before the 'whirlwind' of love pushes you off a cliff. But really it's none of my business. So Whatever. Make a stupid mistake. But I'm not going to say that I don't care.
3/11/04
I'm in a reading mood. So I'm reading Matilda. Roald Dahl is so cool! It's Thursday night. I don't like Thursday nights. Everyone is always screaming about their clothes or going to bars at midnight or dancing to the absurdly loud bass coming from the cars. I have no respect for people like that. And just give me one reason why I should. I rest my case.
3/9/04
I don't know what to write about. I'm a bit paranoid, really. I don't feel very safe here. Actually, I'm at my social high. So why do I feel so alone? O this is so pathetic. I'm becoming a cliche.
3/7/04
They don't understand. They, of all people, should understand. I feel betrayed right now... Right now I want someone to understand. To respect my views. Why can't even my own family do that?
3/4/04
Wow, It's been awhile. Actually I did write something on Monday, but I guess I forgot to save it. Anyhoo, I am now officially a music minor. I'm glad I finally decided. Indecisiveness is a problem. And it's a beautiful day outside. Reminds me of a poem. It's a great poem. "in Just-" by e. e. cummings. I'm ready to go outside. Bye.
2/27/04
I'm nervous. About an hour left... I know I'll get through it. Even if I mess up. But the fear is always the worst part.
2/26/04
Tomorrow. Tomorrow I will be sitting at a piano in front of two hundred people. My face will probably be bright red (courtesy of the lights) and I will forget what the first note is. It's E flat. But tomorrow I might not know that. E flat. (Breathe) then C. (Breathe again). ok...I don't know what's after that. I'll just find out later. When I'm there.
2/25/04
My term paper is done! So I did what every sane girl would do: I bought some shoes. Adidas, to be exact. Blue with just a tinge of yellow. And I said no more blue, too. But it was on sale. So I gave in. Abolished the rule.
2/23/04
Anger. I don't really know what to do with it. So I boil within myself and I don't tell anyone. I know I'm not the only one who feels this way, because I hear what people say. I just wish that someone would Do something about it. But no. There are complications.
2/20/04
So am I pretending or have I really succeeded? I don't know the answer to that one myself, so I doubt you can answer it. All I know is that I'm listening to depressing music right now and I'm playing a game that I said I wouldn't play anymore.
2/19/04
"Questionable." Isn't that a great word? It sounds so intelligent. Well, any four syllable word sounds intelligent. I think. It's not like I'm about to go through the dictionary and check. But anyways. I think my bean plants are dead. Or maybe they're just 'physically challenged.' Pick one. I'll find out in a year. If they still haven't grown a little by then, I'm guessing that they're dead.
2/17/04
No one told me that there were carrots in the soup. It just says "chicken with mini noodles." They oh-so conveniently forgot to mention that there were big chunks of carrots. So I had to eat the soup and leave a bunch of carrots in the bottom. Do you know how hard it is to pick out the chicken and noodles without getting a carrot?
2/16/04
I just saw My Fair Lady. Being a 'lady' is not considered a virtue anymore. In fact, no one seems to care about virtue anymore. Why? I'd rather be an Eliza Doolittle(reformed, of course) than a Britney Spears. Of course if you give most men a choice between those two they tend to choose the barely dressed Madonna wannabe. That is SO shallow.
2/13/04
I hadn't thought about it in a while. I mean, sure it crosses my mind and I'll kind of smile for the sake of the memory...but today I really thought about it. I felt sick. I'm not sure why. Perhaps it's because I was there once again. Ok, I wasn't there. I was in my Statistics class, but my mind wandered off. It was the kind of memory that becomes real when you think about it long enough. I think it would be wise not to think of it that deeply again.
2/11/04
Mark one triumph for today. I recovered my theme. But I'm still embarrassed about getting all upset over it. At least I didn't break out into full sob. Overcoming obstacles feels great. Very "American dream."
2/9/04
Tomorrow may be another day, but it's not a good one. Apparantly my reading comprehension skills are under par. Also my alarm clock is going off even after I turned the thing off. And I'm feeling the hate vibes from my dormmates. Back to my Theme: I would usually use the excuse that I was slacking off. But guess what. I wasn't. I guess my brain is defective. I thought I would have the advantage in this class because I've had to analyze stories before. I don't know what's wrong with me. (:o(
2/8/04
This last week has been really really weird. I mean like fire alarms, thunderstorms, snow, server crashes...But it's all good. Because...."Tomorrow is another day."