Temptation - 2001
Hold me; I'm sensitive
Don't feel like I belong
Whispers come like angry screams
Don't think I can stand this too long

Touch me; I'm fragile
Dare to feel what's under the glass
Dare to realize what I'm made of:
Softer than silk, harder than brass

Use me; I'm gullible
Nothing concerns me
I use my brain to listen to your voice
But I use my heart to see

Distract me; I'm determined
Nothing can throw me off track
A red target only to you
Go ahead and aim at my back

Shock me; I'm petrified
Paralyzed, glued to the ground
Nowhere to hide away from fear
Go ahead, make that vicious sound

Abuse me; I'm a masochist
Break
Bend
Cut
Mend

Tempt me. I won't budge

Sick - 2002
i try: to sing; to talk, to love
everytime i fail: i don't
get back up
i slither away: and cut my
self up
until the wounds have
diseased my
skin
which demolishes all of
the sin I am
in

Hole - 2002
Tears appear
when the sun will rise
every moment
is synchronized
I'm not immune to this pain
anymore
Voices haunt
like the ghosts in
my hall
Blood runs fast
(like I try to)
but I fall
Go on, take a piece of my heart
Before it
crumbles
apart
The voices are fading
the pain is draining
out through a
-hole
in my heart

Hope - 2002
sombody...
fork me out of this
jar, bingeing on my:
pretentious crying
what on earth is so amusing
about little girl
lost?
maybe, just maybe you'll
find it in your
selfish heart
to purge what's swimming
inside you
maybe you care
maybe i'm just grasping
at straws

Tigermilk - 2002
white, orange, and
peach
bruises shine
souls leap
out of your
hearts
and into our
eyes
i want you
i need you
so much i despise
the tiger inside

Cry (Last Resort) - 2003
stampedes crush my
sinful bones
tears crash against my skin like
stones
my shrivelled heart
pumps its last
the surging pain punctures
like glass; a
a hole in my heart
a hole in my soul
i'm coughing up the
acid that flirts with
my subconcious mind
if only it had the power
(or heart)
to turn
back
time

13 - 2003
i figured if i was always alone
someone would feel sorry for me and
cut me open and make love to my
heart
not my charcoal kimono; sadistic
drops of raspberry wiine, devouring the
likewise, rationally polluted swine
somatically demanding, barbed wire bred deep
swimmer
i'm forcibly lunged forward, yet catapulted backwards: a
paradox undertanding, contridicting its own existence
humming
in the traffic jam of
"academically-challenged" forgotten
priorities in my head. candy wrappers lost
in the bottom of my
closet

Emblematic Ether - 2004
why do the stars tease
why do i seem to believe
how oxymoronic
of me
to pretend to have some
sort of
faithlike
"god"like
subconcious epiphany
of what could/should
be.

maybe the ultimate
juggernaught
is
me (?)
exonerated from
mediocrity.

i obloquy myself;
closer to earth
further from
filth.
what is it exactly
that drags
me apart from the people
responsible for my
life.death.love.hate.

nothing is clear
maybe the skies
lie (?)

Blood Lies - 2004
i never bled
crimson, i shed
maybe it was
red thoughts in
bed
subconcious spite
arrives at night
tints my flesh
with the carmine
knife

faster, harder
rougher it goes
betwixt the columns
the scarlet flows

am i a woman?
am i a man?
am i an experiment
performed by the
damned?

the harder i fought
delirious in thought
i came to realize
what is
not:
the blood that lies
betwixt my thighs
cannot be
because i'm
alive.

Martyrdom - 2004
the ties that i thought
had us bound;
adjacent to the
vows unsound,
abraded by agents
of memories past
destroys the love
(i thought)
would last.
ablution seeks
the truths i speak,
but denies my
very heart.
in order to sell yourself
to god,
i must take myself
apart.

200 mg - 2004
why is everyone so easily convinced
that a single pilll can distill
the clockwork destruction inside me?

aeons ago the world was flat,
now i'm a candidate for insanity
because i exchange somatic evidence
of celebrated taboos for 200 mg of
cocaine-like powder
placebos.

sometimes the strangulation
of involuntary confrontation
allows me to view fantasy as fact,
reserve a place in God's heaven,
and acknowledge the dissolving plastic
alleviate idle emotions.

Apparition (Anemia) - 2004
cowering beads of sweat
retreat to the origin of fear
pores dilate, and reverse the
melancholiac phases of the
phoenix stigmata.

the iridescent tears convert
to onyx, pools of oil erupt
and bleed out through the holes
of my sacrificed body.

Submission - 2004
ignoring the maelstrom
conforming the scion:
tears silver, blood of cold

crossword dogma
drugs my problems:
thoughts greying, mind of mold

raping the icon
begging absolution:
tin placebos, heart of gore

abusing the temple
neglecting the simple:
soul anemic, heart of war

praying in submission
tearing an incision:
tears of nothing, blood no more

Bound - 2004
The proverbial "O" marks the spot:
A tiny, droplet bead
Pedulous fingers revivify
The pulising, breathless seed

The drunken breaths play tug-a-war:
A cyst within my lungs
Nebulous knuckles abide by
The feverish gorge of tongues

And as my spine curls inward
And as my parts cave in
My ambiguous corpse gives into
The bondage I am in

_!& back it up