NURSE JONES

Critics/story readers take note:


From: [email protected] 
Subject: Critics/story readers take note: 
Date: 29 Nov 91 20:32:18 GMT 

Tim Maroney: pay attention, please! I welcome flames on this dumb 
idea. 

From Nurse Jones, 

I got an e-flame today from someone I should apologize to, I guess. He 
(I lost the wi.number) thought I was boorish and insensitive to write 
humorously about napalm. My first instinct was to tell him to lighten 
up, but I realized 

(1) I might have pushed a Vietnam vet's red button, and 

(2) When I started to write that post something came over me and I 
decided to try to be serious, pretend like I was a real writer for a 
change, and try to make some outlandish images seem believable. 

Okay, some humor crept in. I did my best to keep it out, but you know 
how I get, sometimes. Anyway, I'm offended that he thought I was 
trying to be funny. People on ASB normally are pretty good at figuring 
out when I'm trying to be funny, but this guy guessed wrong, and I 
apologize to him. My mouth gets me in trouble sometimes. Napalm just 
seemed the right image for a flame. Next time a Ritchid comes along 
you'll find me crouched down behind him flicking my Bic and setting 
his pants on fire. 

Chalk it up to my mouth. Which causes me to wince now and then. Does 
that happen to anyone else? I sometimes jump and squeak and Jay will 
look at me like I was crazy and I can't explain that I just remembered 
one of my Most Embarrassing Moments from three years before. It just 
wouldn't make sense to anyone but me. 

Here's one: Jay and I went for Thanksgiving dinner to a professor's 
home while we were in school. He was a grad student, and this prof was 
on his advisory committee. We had just met, and I was trying to 
impress Jay and his prof. So there I am out in the back yard with the 
bar-b-que and their little dog decides to bark at me hysterically. So 
I'm hopping around trying to not be bitten and this very matronly 
voice that sounds like Julia Childs comes from inside the house and 
tells me to kick his balls and I shout back that I can't, he's facing 
the wrong way, and she says "The tennis balls. In the yard." 

Now I ask you. How was I to know? Was that my fault? I still get 
twitchy over that. I was embarrassed. I didn't deserve that. It was a 
half hour before I could go into the house and be sociable. NOW I 
might think it was funny. THEN ... well even you folks know what I was 
like. I'm still a bundle of midwestern nuroses. 

Anyway, I wasn't trying to be funny about napalm, just about Mr. Nain, 
okay? Which brings me to my real point (Tim Maroney, start paying 
attention, and did you notice the margins, BTW?) 

BEGIN REAL POINT: ASB is one of two things: 
(a) a forum for the discussion of bondage-related stuff _only_ 
                         OR 
(b) a forum where people with a common interest in bondage talk about 
    whatever they want. Sort of an ongoing long distance slow-motion 
    cocktail party. 

If (b), then I would like to continue the story line of that "Nurse 
Jones gets tough" post. Try to be a serious writer for a while and see 
how it goes. Try to pace it like a novel. Which would mean that not 
_every_ post would have bondage in it. But it would be about us, here 
on ASB. And it would have bondage in it. I've gotten to know some of 
you, a bit. I've formed mental pictures. Which I undoubtedly have 
wrong. 

I'm going to assume (b) above, and post a short chapter that lays out 
the premise. See what happens. See what I'm like when I'm not being a 
wise guy. Wise person. Whatever. I'd like to create a world, but I 
can't guarantee it'll be a nice one. I trust that Tim Maroney will 
stop me if I belong in alt.stupid.science.fiction. 

But if you like it and want to see yourself as a character, say so. 
Tell me what you want to be. We'll see what I really have, literary-
wise. 

Well, someone said I should take a pay cut and give up nursing for 
writing. 

Nurse Jones, 
   who'd be satisfied with a reduction 
      in the wages of 
         sin. 

PS, I called The Gauntlet a few days ago and ordered a piercing 
needle, some rings, and 3 back issues of their quarterly. We're gonna 
do it. Eeeeeyowch. 



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