Am I Kinky?

So your'e wanting to know – am I kinky?

Who is kinky? What is your criterion or definition?

The scope of human sexual expression varies spectacularly widely. It is axiomatic that whatever your preference, there are many who share it; none of us is really unique. Am I kinky if my behaviour lies at the extreme of the distribution? How do you measure?

There are several versions of the “Purity Test” to be found on the internet. These list a broad variety of sexual behaviour and are intended to be scored on the basis of one point for each activity you have participated in. They are intended for amusement only. “Pure” in this context is innocent of sex.

The negotiating list found here is a similar list of possible activities. It is intended to be marked to show what is acceptable and what is not at a point in time – recognising always that tomorrow is another day.

The writer admits as follows:

We (either one of us) are unwilling to consent to 28% and have doubts about a further 16% of the items on the list;
That leaves a possible group of 56% that we have tried or are both willing to try.
The possible group grows larger as we grow.

So now you know. Don't you?

What is normal is what you are comfortable with, and that depends very much on commonsense and your own experience. If you choose to broaden your experience don't let someone else try to tell you whether or not that was enjoyable or beneficial. Only you can decide whether the experience was a good one for you.

It is just possible that all experience is good experience; even if sometimes it was not fun and you don't feel the need to try it again.

Original: October ‘99 Modified: 16 May 2002
This page is part of “Living in the Light”
found at: http://www.geocities.com/phoban2000/

Finding focus Understanding motivation Religion & faith Sexuality Families Front page