10/14/00

i just finished doing my laundry, at three am on a saturday night/sunday morning. it was nice, pit-pattering down the desolate hallway with my rain scented detergent and dryer sheets, not having to hustle for worry that someone was going to steal the wash machine i had my eye on before i got there. no standing in line, no waiting for other people to switch their loads, no coming into the laundry room to find my underwear and things laying about from where someone else had thrown them out in their impatience. maybe i should spend my saturdays like this more often.

and sure, you’re thinking that i have no fucking life if this is how i choose to spend my weekends. but back home it was entirely different. i partied every night, every day, regardless of what other, more important obligations i had. and it got old. four years of that has left me being able to really enjoy a lazy weekend of laying around in flannel pajama pants and giggly conversations on dorm floors with friends and reruns of sappy movies and iced coffee and procrastination. i imagine this’ll get old sooner or later and i’ll get to the point where i won’t be okay with going out to party only once a week or so, but until then, i’m enjoying this. so get off my back.

that said, maybe i’m enjoying procrastination a little too much. i somehow manage to get things done in time, but just barely. there’s always that feeling of a clock ticking over me and an agitating awareness of all the things i have to do playing on my nerves. i want so, so desperately (3:33) to have just one day where i have everything done; nothing hanging over my head or any burdens on my shoulders. it just never quite happens.

i’m a chronic list maker, so every weekend i compile one of the things i have to accomplish. by monday morning, it’s usually untouched. it seems that this weekend won’t be much different. things i have gotten done today are:

1. eat a blueberry donut

2. take three showers

3. watch hay bale tossing contests, listen to bagpipes, admire hairy legs under kilts

4. spend every last penny i had on me

5. acquire the first purse i’ve had since middle school

6. wear a dress

7. watch “sixteen candles” for the umpteenth time

8. paint my nails and toenails a sparkly, halloween orange color; fingernail polish compliments of a past boyfriend (this being the first time i’ve actually used the polish, so um, thanks, chris)

9. wash aforementioned laundry

10. get a haircut, compliments of my ever-so-kind and handy roommate

11. have my hair dyed again so that the supposedly turquoise hair dye is at least green instead of a pukey-lemon color

i’m just so productive, eh?

i’ve been starving all evening (even though i had two big meals today, including a couple of my beautiful salads: spring peas, mushrooms, beans, peanuts, unshelled sunflower seeds, green pepper strips, pears and pineapple doused with raspberry dressing--yum.) so i purchased an over-priced, under-sized blueberry nutrigrain bar from the vending machine outside the door. it was quite good; i’ve developed this strange blueberry fetish lately. plus it promised to be an “excellent source for calcium” (i’m calcium deficient), have not seven, not eight, but nine, yes, nine minerals and vitamins as well as being low fat. i’m determined not to gain the freshman fifteen. and so far, so good. when i go home this weekend, i’m sure people will comment that i’ve lost weight.

despite whatever i have to say about how tired i was of partying, i’m really looking forward to going home this upcoming weekend and doing lots of it. this will be my first time home since i left and all my friends are really psyched to see me. it seems as if things with all of them more or less fell apart when i left (probably much more collateral than causational) so i’m sure they’ll be plenty of melodrama to catch up on in between festivities. my birthday is coming up (fuck, i’m getting old) so there’s also going to be celebration for that from both my friends and family. and i’ll get to pet my darling cat, who i miss terribly. so it should be a good time. don’t get me wrong, by no means do i want to actually live in danville again. but it’ll be nice to visit, as an outsider, not having to deal with any of it; just running off back here into the mountains before the problems submerge. it’s been a long time since i’ve been excited about anything; let’s hope i’m not disappointed.