I woke up and it was a nice day..(a rare occurence in this part of the world)..the weather was awesome...so sometime late morning i decide to go to the beach...So i changed into beach clothes (in this case the shortest pair of shorts that a 50 inch hip can fit into comfortably and chalewote), grabbed my blankie and my book and some snacks and headed off to the beach. It was fun. I lay there and absorbed some vitamin D and read my book and collected shells and generally tried to become one with nature...
It was on my way home that disaster struck! I had to drive through a mountain range to get home..and as we all know, cell phones and mountains dont mix! Right in the middle of nowhere my front left tire blows out! Thankfully i was doing about 45mph so i was able to keep control of the truck, So i maneuver the truck to the shoulder and get out to survey the scene. Ok..so i'm thinking..what the crap am i going to do? The logical conclusion i came to was to change the tire...problem #1. where on earth is the spare tire (do i even have one?) After 10 minutes of searching the truck...i conclude i dont have a spare tire! Jeepers creepers!! problem #2. My cell phone is dead! No reception! Holy crap! problem #3. Its getting late and i dont have a flashlight! problem #4. this is oregon and one minute its sunny and the next minute its colder than a witch's tit...and i'm almost naked! Either i stay in the truck to keep warm and run the risk of not being seen or try and flag someone down to help me and freeze my ass off!
Well in the end i stood by the side of the road trying to flag someone down for 2 freaking hours before a kind old redneck man in a run down chevy truck pulled up and asked if i needed any help. Well i told him my predicament and all he said was "you wait here a sec". This man lay on the road and i thought he was losing his mind. After about 2 minutes and a lot of grunting and "fuck this" he emerged with my spare tire! Apparently i did have one after all..it was located on the underside of the truck bed! (why in God's name is it under there of all places?). He asked if i had a thingy that lifted the truck up...of course i didnt have a clue what he meant...he looked at me as if i was an idiot....then he went to his truck and got a jack...and proceeded to change my tire in 5 minutes flat! (no pun intended).
After he was done i offered to pay him and all he said was "girl you need a husband!" He refused my money and went on his way!
I wasted almost 3 hours on a project that took him 7 minutes to complete...and i'm supposed to have an iq in the upper 150s? I guess we do need men in our lives after all!!!
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