Today i was at work daydreaming (yup i'm paid to do that too) and i was trying to recall some of the funniest things that ever happened to me..well i guess the time the condom disappeared must rank way up there..We were both young and inexperienced (no names) and doing things which we werent supposed to be doing....anyway..after the deed was done he looked down and said "oh where's the condom?" i'm like "what do u mean where's the condom? i'm not the one who was wearing it". Then it occured to us that the condom may have gotten stuck...so he decided to go fishing for condoms up my coochie. After much poking and prodding (accompanied by bashful but nervous laughter on my part) he came to the conclusion that the condom wasn't in there...or perhaps it had travelled further up than his fingers could reach..(mind you this is before we'd studied the reproductive system in science class)...so he's like why dont u go pee and see if it will come out? Ok now the nervousness starts to increase coz i'm thinking what if i have to go to the hospital to have it surgically removed? What on earth will i tell my parents? But i'm like "but i don't feel like peeing." And he's like "well drink some water" So i'm forcefed about 10 glasses of water to induce pee...(at this point we're both equally nervous). I go sit on the bowl and he's standing there watching as i pee and asking...."do u feel it sliding down?" Of course i couldn't feel a thing! By now i'm thinking of what excuse i can give the doctor...but wait...its gets better...So the young gentleman in questions decides to see if he can locate it visually..Well let's just say if he'd spread me any wider, i'd be in the Guiness book of World Records. By this time i'm so raw from all the poking and prodding and prying that i'm in real pain now. Well he still couldn't located the darned thing visually...so we decide to go to a pharmacist to find out what the implications are. The young man reaches down to grab his underwear and lo and behold...what do we see...the tattered remains of a torn condom on his peepeestick! We both looked at each other and burst out laughing! The relief!! Dang the relief was orgasmic! Much better than even the sex!
Oh to be young and silly and carefree again!!! (not that i'm advocating diddums at a young age....but hey...u gotta admit...its sweetest when its forbidden!)
Oops....i hope my mother doesn't see this!!
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