by
Anaphalis
Summary: "The little waves, with their soft, white hands, Efface the footprints in the sands, And the tide rises, the tide falls." - Henry Wadsworth Longfellow, "The Tide Rises, the Tide Falls". Angst/Psychological. One Shot. 30 Kisses Theme #29 - The Sound of Waves. Chihiro/Haku.
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Distribution: My site and 30 Kisses. All others please ask before taking.
Feedback: Much appreciated at [email protected]
Disclaimer: Not mine. Brushes on this page courtesy of Pure Anodyne.
A/N: Thanks to appalling_fool for checking this over :)
She felt the burn of nausea rising in her throat as she closed the door and went down the stairs to the porch. It was automatic now- pulling on the jacket, slipping on the shoes, wrapping her arms around herself as she walked the path to heartbreak once again.
He was there, of course- no matter how many times she hoped otherwise, he was always there.
"Haku..."
He didn't move. He was so beautiful sitting there on the rock, the wind blowing his hair over his face as he stared out over the ocean. Some days she just wanted to leave him there. Like this, before he turned towards her, she could almost pretend that everything was normal.
"Haku!"
She was not a coward, although her courage was worn thin with the constant daily rub. Her courage so close to gone now as his blank eyes turned towards her and she forced her feet to come stand beside him.
She ran her hand through his hair, her eyes stinging as she tried not to cry. This was not... This was not what she had expected when she had made Haku promise that they would meet again-
No regrets. She had already learned the lesson that one should never look back.
She shifted her arm down around his shoulders as she helped him stand, as limp and obedient as an oversized doll. The first few times she'd tried to bring him back, he'd struggled and yelled. She wasn't sure if this was an improvement.
She blamed herself for forcing Haku to promise to come back to her. Truthfully though, when he had shown up naked, human and confused at her seaside cottage, she had almost forgotten him. Truthfully though, neither she nor Haku had considered what the cost of his change would be.
A river was used to patterns, to eternity. Maybe that was why he had created his own patterns, his own unchanging reality. Maybe it was her who was adapting to him by keeping her hope unchanging, saying 'This morning will be the morning he will be better-'
But Chihiro couldn't look back. And it wasn't all bad- on the good days he remembered her, remembered himself for a few minutes before his eyes glazed over again.
It was almost tidal, this routine. Following one path to gather him then following the reverse back to the house, removing both their shoes, their jackets and walking him back up the stairs and into the bedroom.
He sat on the bed so easily now, so acceptingly. She would have given anything for him to deviate, to fight, to break the pull of his own tides.
"Do you hear it, Chihiro?"
The house was absolutely silent except for the sound of their breathing. She felt the lump rise in her throat once again.
"Hear what, Haku?"
He looked up at her, those beautiful, haunted eyes drawing her into his shadowed world.
"The water. The waves at the door."
He leaned in against her chest, his head over her breast and she gently stroked his hair as her heart broke again.
"They come and go Chihiro, but they don't ever go away. They whisper things, but they forget every time they come back again that they whispered the same things the last time they came. Do you hear them, Chihiro?"
She dropped a light kiss to his head as the tears finally fell.
"Yes, Haku. I hear them."
-End-
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