by
Anaphalis
Summary: "If you are not too long, I will wait here for you all my life." - Oscar Wilde. Drama/Psychological. One Shot. 30 Kisses Theme #1 - "Look over here!" Chihiro/Haku.
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Distribution: My site and 30 Kisses. All others please ask before taking.
Feedback: Much appreciated at [email protected]
Disclaimer: Not mine. Brushes on this page courtesy of Pure Anodyne.
A/N: Can be taken as a companion to As the Dawn Arises but is meant as a stand alone. Thanks to appalling_fool for all her help and inspiration :) Any remaining mistakes are entirely my own.
Even a young river is still older than the buildings, the fields, almost even the hills it passes through. He may not be a river anymore, but he remembers the long, sticky-sweet years where he waited �prayed- for something to happen. He has not forgotten how to wait, but he has learned to be careful what he asks for.
He can't help himself though, -Kohaku!- her voice in his head pushes the centuries of patience away as surely as the land yields to water released from the dam. He wants to blame it on this new, human form. He wants to blame the unsteady beat of an unfamiliar heart for his impatience. But, deeper than his human heart, is the flow of water and the pull of tides and time. From that riverheart, he cannot hide that his impatience goes core deep, deep enough to ask for something even more foolish than personal amusement.
Like the first time, the answer to his prayers is both a curse and a blessing. The first time, he was blind, deaf, devoid of self, devoid of memory when they drained his river. Now, everything is too loud, too bright, too fast and his self is too quick-changing for the mind that has spent centuries eroding a rock flake by flake. But the thought, the desire that caused both changes is the same. His thoughts the same now, perched outside her window, as when he woke that first time naked, alone and nameless.
Look over here.
Look at me.
See me.
He thinks that she is the only person who has ever really seen him. Even knowing that she would forget, that she had to forget, didn't remove the desire he felt for her to �look- at him one more time the way she looked at him that day, for her to �see- him, as no one else has or ever will. That desire, that half-whispered prayer has led to this night perched outside her window, carefully pushing it open so that he can enter her bedroom.
His human body is not as flexible as his spirit form and he is afraid that his graceless landing will wake her. If she does not wake on her own, the deal is revoked and he will risk anything but this chance.
At her bedside he tries to keep his breathing steady, but the sudden surge of excitement in his body is like nothing he felt as a dragon. He can't help himself- she's always been beautiful in his riverheart, but she's older now and this human body is recognizing and reacting to her maturity. He can't help himself- so careful not to touch her skin, he ghosts his lips over her cheeks, her mouth. It's fitting he thinks- a ghost kiss from a ghost.
He can't touch her, can't speak to her. She has to recognize him in her sleep and wake up, see him on her own. All he can do is will her to come to him, call her in his mind.
Look over here.
Look at me.
See me.
She doesn't look, of course.
Nobody looked the first time either- there was more than one reason he accepted Yubaba's offer of apprenticeship. Now... Now there is no witch to grant him power, no magic tricks he can use to be the focus of attention, to have �something- happen. And this time... This time it isn't just a wish to not be alone. If she can't see him, doesn't acknowledge him soon-
He looks down at the hands already slightly translucent in the light of the waning moon.
He's used to waiting, Nigihayami Kohakunushi. He's just not used to not having enough time to wait.
-End-
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