by
Anaphalis
Summary: Kagome's got a horny kitsune, an invisible 'friend' and a kamikaze quest with a five hundred year deadline. Oh yeah, and she's disguised as a boy. But when did that ever get in the way of "twue wuv? Let's just not answer that... Rurouni Kenshin X Inuyasha crossover. Drama/Romance.
Chapter Summary: Never forget that sometimes things go wrong just because someone up there Just. Doesn�t. Like. You.
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Disclaimer: Inuyasha belongs to Rumiko Takahashi and Shonen Jump. Rurouni Kenshin belongs to Watsuki Nobuhiro and Jump. Brushes on this page courtesy of Pure Anodyne.
Quick Vocabulary:
Kuromoto: Black base/origin/source
Bakumatsu: The late period of the Tokugawa shogunate in which the Meiji Revolution occurred. There were wide-spread killings of many of the ruling elite during this time.
Strategy is buying a bottle of fine wine when you take a lady out for dinner. Tactics is getting her to drink it.
-Frank Muir
"We need to talk."
I'm going to kill her. I don't care if she's already dead. Shi nearly died trying to get me out of that mess she put us in.
Thank gods he's still passed out- I don't need him to see me try to strangle a bodiless spirit.
"You nearly got us killed! What were you planning on doing if I'd died while you kept me frozen?"
It's probably good that my miko powers kicked in enough overnight to completely heal my throat- screaming is a very important means of expression.
How does she always keep her face that stiff? Does it freeze that way when you become a spirit? And how the hell does she always make me feel like I'm a whiny five-year old without ever saying anything?
"There is a purpose for everything. You are not as strong as you need to be- it should have been easy for you to regain control of yourself. You let yourself get out of balance enough that the demons were able to take partial control. Again."
This is why it doesn't pay to argue with the guilt-trip queen. Don't worry, Kikyo, I've got hundreds of years worth of guilt and sorrow for what happened the last time.
There's no point in trying to get her to apologize or even admit that she was wrong. She's got centuries of stuff to guilt me with. There's nothing I can do to convince her that it was wrong to freeze me, to unleash the souls in the middle of a fight so that Shi was forced to both fight and keep me from falling apart. But gods, if Shi had died...
I'll pull out the "good little soldier" face. I messed up enough last night insulting Okashira and just now yelling at the queen. It's time to get back to business.
"Why are we here?"
A brief flicker of... approval? passes over her face.
"You have three Kyoto-area missions."
Ahhh... Missions...
Apparently whoever's in charge of my wish wasn't content to just let me carry the jewel for five hundred years. Apparently I have to make the future in which I turn over the jewel actually happen.
And what does that mean?
Well, I'm not really sure. Apparently it involves doing a whole bunch of random stuff which causes chain reactions that we never stick around long enough to see.
As far as I can actually tell though, most of my 'missions' fall into the muse/inspiration or 'hand of god' categories. Basically Shi and I 'inspire' famous artists or inventors- generally by getting them very, very drunk and slipping them ideas or by flashing some flesh so that they can 'capture' us in art. So maybe 'muses' is a bit of a stretch.
We also make objects show up in the right place at the right time, cause random timeline-essential property damage and interfere in strange and very specific ways in people's lives. Although there was that one matchmaking attempt where the samurai was far more interested in bedding Shi than his future wife-
"The missions have a minimum duration of two years."
Two years!
We haven't stayed that long in one place since-
Well, it's been a while anyways.
"Your mission is to convince Kuromoto, a mid-ranked government official with family connections to the Emperor, to open negotiations with the foreign traders that I specify."
Mid-ranked government official with royal connections? Most of them hate foreigners.
This is going to be fun.
But you know, in a strange way, I like a bit of a challenge.
"And what am I supposed to do once he 'opens negotiations'?"
"I'll tell you once you get him to open negotiations."
Oh please not a push job.
But wait a second there...
"You said three assignments... That's only part of one assignment."
"You'll hear the other assignments once you've performed each part of each subsequent task to my satisfaction."
And she's gone.
Oh this is not good.
-
I don't even notice when Shi wakes up until I feel his hand on my shoulder.
"Are you doing better now?"
"I'm basically healed. I was able to use a lot of healing powers after you got things started because of the dark energy she released from the souls."
Shi's grip tightens.
"How far did the souls get if you were allowed to heal that fast to balance their energy?"
I turn to face him, squeezing his free hand in an attempt to reassure him.
"I'm still me. I didn't lose control. Without you I'd be dead but... we're both still here."
Shi takes a deep breath and changes the subject.
"I'm assuming she decided to tell you something- so what's the situation?"
"Apparently we're here for at least two years and we've got three assignments."
Shi starts and blinks rapidly. "We haven't stayed that long in one place since-"
"For a while. I don't know what she's doing either. I only know part of the first assignment, I'll hear the second assignment when the first part of the first assignment is done and we won't hear the third assignment until both of the others are complete."
He shakes his head, absently rubbing the palm of my hand. "This doesn't sound good. So what's the first job?"
"The first assignment is to get some mid-ranked, emperor-related government official to get involved in trade negotiations with the some of the foreign businessmen currently in town. I think it's going to end up being a 'push' job."
Shi flinches. "Damn. I was hoping we weren't going to have to do any more of those."
Ah the push job. As in "Sometimes a man walks off the edge of a cliff. And sometimes he's pushed."
Shi and I don't just act as muses and inspirations- according to my miko guardian some people need to die at certain times for the future to work properly. We don't have to pull the trigger but we do have to make sure that they're in the right place at the right time to get whacked. Frankly I'd almost prefer a direct assassination even if it would "pollute the timeline".
"So what's our cover this time?"
"In the letter Misao-san sent with us it says that you're a distant cousin and my guard-"
"And you got pulled from the shrine you had been training at to fulfill family obligations?"
"Yes."
Shi frowns.
"You look really young dressed like this, Kage. Wouldn't we be better to go as master and student again?"
"Which wouldn't explain why I am a technically better swordsman, although slower and weaker than you. Not to mention that everyone-"
"Would think that we were sleeping together. Again."
Shi only pauses for a moment.
"But that wouldn't be a problem if we didn't have to involve the Oniwabanshu- if we were on our own, it wouldn't matter if people thought that we were involved."
"Blame my favorite invisible friend. She's the one who insisted we involve the damn ninjas in the first place."
Shi gives me the I'm-totally-baiting-you grin.
"But whose incredible skill was it that made the Tokyo Okashira our new best friend?"
"Oh hell, Shi. I'm not proud that I drank the poor woman under the table and got her to tell me her life story."
He smiles helpfully. "Don't forget the dancing."
"Please Shi- I'm really trying to forget that."
"It's all right- it's nice to know that you're still unable to dance even after four hundred years of practice."
I'd hit him, but it's true. I dance like a spastic monkey. Time to change the subject.
"So if we're dealing with foreign merchants, we're going to need to translate."
"My understanding of German and Portuguese is decent- I've had a few hundred years of practice, but I'm not so sure about speaking it. What other languages would we need?"
"Possibly English. And I haven't opened an English book in four hundred years and I never could speak it properly."
"So an English translator?"
I nod and then remember the night before.
"The Okashira's a sensitive. He nearly found out last night."
I pretend not to hear the Shi's very creative curse.
"So we need other living quarters."
"Yes- it'll be a bit more work, but it would be nice to not have to deal with him all the time anyways."
Shi grins.
"You mean you discovered his charming personality last night too? Well, let's figure out how to find him and get this over with."
I'm slightly disturbed that the screen opens the minute I take down the privacy and protection wards from the night before. It's a house servant, who bows before delivering his message.
"The Okashira requests an audience in his office."
Shi whispers in my ear as he falls in behind me, "And here we go."
-
I think I can see how I thought the place was so huge last night. It's actually not one building at all but a series of smaller buildings arranged in a walled compound. Although the external architecture is fairly traditional, there are definitely some non-Japanese influences on the inside design. The place probably belonged to one of the lords who was eliminated in the Bakumatsu purge. Poor bastard.
"Come in."
We enter the office. The Okashira is standing in front of us and gives an almost imperceptible bow of greeting, making a gesture to indicate that we should sit.
Well if that's the way you want to play it.
Shi bows marginally lower, but I return the exact degree of bow that the Okashira gave us. Neither of us sit.
I can practically feel the air freeze as Shi hands the letter from Misao-san to the human icicle.
He quickly scans the letter and turns to Shi with a distinct frown.
"You're not couriers."
"No."
Tall and dark gives a quickly suppressed jerk. Obviously he didn't take me as the commanding partner in the relationship. Boy is he in for a surprise.
"It says that I am to... aid you in any way possible."
Now, now- don't look like you swallowed something unpleasant.
"You are aware of my organization�s normal fees?"
It's time for him to take us seriously. I look up at him and meet his eyes.
Maybe that was a mistake.
I don't think that I can concentrate.
Hell with it. I'm far too stubborn to back down now.
"Money is no object, Aoshi-san."
Oh that got an eye twitch.
"You may address me as 'Okashira' or 'Shinomori-san'."
Stupid political power games.
Thank gods you don�t need an honorific in my head.
Aoshi.
Nyah, nyah, nyah.
Okay, so maybe 'political power games' is a bit of a stretch.
"Very well, Shinomori-san." If I can concede the point graciously it's not a loss and has the added advantage of making him look rude. Somehow I doubt that's going to bother him as much as it should.
"Regardless Shinomori-san, we would be happy to pay the required price for the services of your organization."
And I'm tired of all this stupid dancing, so I'm going to get straight to the point. This is why Shi is normally the talking partner.
"We're involved in a long-term two year operation with multiple phases. While we appreciated your generous hospitality last night, we will be happy to find our own temporary quarters and only return when we have need of your services."
You know, for a guy with little to no facial expression, Aoshi sure pulls off the evil eye-glint well.
"Oh no, Higurashi-san. If you and your-"
"Guard." I won't play that game, Aoshi.
"If you and your 'guard' are willing to pay that much for our services, I insist that you remain under our protection for the duration of our contract. For safety reasons of course."
Not counting the Shi thing, I think that he managed to insult me at least three times in two sentences. He's pretty good at this.
"You seem to doubt my abilities as a bondsman. Would you care to inspect my weapon to better judge my credentials?"
Shi obviously wants me to keep my temper under control, but I don't think he's really considered that that statement could be taken as a) he wants to show Aoshi his sword b) he wants to start a fight with Aoshi or c) he wants to show Aoshi his 'sword'.
Although looking at Aoshi, maybe he has.
Aoshi nods and gestures for Shi to come closer, so obviously he�s taking it as a or c.
And why is some part of my mind screaming "C, pick C"?
Shi slowly unsheathes his katana, bringing it forward for Aoshi's inspection.
Now a good katana doesn't necessarily mean anything about your abilities as a fighter, but then again, you have to have earned the money or prestige to get it somehow. So one way or the other it says a lot about your position in life. And Shi's sword... Well, it's pretty special.
Aoshi's eyes light up in what can only be described as sheer lust.
Figures it would take a pointy sword to get him going.
It is a gorgeous blade, but still.
"What do you call it?"
Oh he's so asking for it.
"Pointy End."
Shi's face is completely blank. Aoshi actually blinks.
"The-"
"Pointy End. As in 'The Pointy End goes here.'"
And then Shi makes a hand gesture that could either be completely innocent or very, very suggestive depending on the weather, the cycle of the moon and whether or not Shi has ever made an innocent gesture in his life.
We�re going to die.
Hey- did the corner of Mr. Icicle's mouth just twitch?
"That seems appropriate."
You know if he weren't such an arrogant icicle of a human being I'd love him for being able to pull that off with a completely straight face. Not many people manage to get the better of Shi.
But he's not finished.
"Does yours have a name as well?"
"Poke."
Aoshi-san holds up a hand. "Don't explain. I don't want to know."
Damn. Now I can't do our "poke the pointy end" routine.
Yeah. I know. Toutousai wasn't that impressed either.
By the time we finished our little show, he was practically in tears at the thought of giving us his only non-demonic, strictly metallic swords.
But Aoshi isn't even going to give me an opening.
"So what are you doing and why do you want to involve my organization?"
I suppose 'I don't know' won't work. Does 'because the ghost of my lover's ex-girlfriend told me to' count?
"We need to open negotiations with some of the foreign merchants in Kyoto on behalf of a specific government official and we will need to translate between the merchants and between the merchants and the official."
"We're not sure of the nationality of the traders yet- Shi and I can communicate with Portuguese or German-speaking merchants, but I suspect that at least some of our contacts will be English-speakers. It would also be helpful to have someone who could verify our translations for the other languages and help us find information on our contacts."
Aoshi's expression is carefully neutral. "So you need a translator and potential information gatherer for interactions with foreign merchants in order to help you act as liaisons/spies on behalf of an un-named government official?"
Shi mutters beneath his breath, "Well he doesn't exactly know that we're acting on his behalf."
I give him a quick, sharp elbow in the ribs and turn a blank face to Aoshi.
"Do you have any suggestions Shinomori-san?"
Oh. I really don't like that look in his eyes.
"Yes."
He's going to make me ask, isn't he?
"And who would you suggest, sir?"
"Me."
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