by
Anaphalis
Summary: "A limbo large and broad, since call'd The Paradise of Fools to few unknown." -John Milton, 'Paradise Lost'. Drama. Time-Line Split/Alternate Reality. One Shot. IY Fic Contest Entry. Challenge - Alternate Reality. K/S.
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Distribution: My site and IY Fic Contest. All others please ask before taking.
Feedback: Much appreciated at [email protected]
Disclaimer: Inuyasha belongs to Rumiko Takahashi and Shonen Jump. Brushes on this page courtesy of Pure Anodyne.
A/N: The timeline split here would be that Kagome gets dragged into the well on her fifteenth birthday, but the time she winds up in isn't the same as in the series. I did have a very specific point in the canon timeline (anime timeline actually) in mind that Kagome had gotten herself dropped into. Bonus cookies for anyone who can guess when it was ;)
He didn't even pause as he kept striding towards the forest and Kagome tried to bite back the tears of frustration.
He didn't even like humans.
So why was she still here?
###
There was something pinned to the tree... a boy...
Her heart gave a strange, painful lurch and she took a half step towards him before she was halted by a strange pressure on her shoulder.
Sesshoumaru had willingly touched her and it frightened her more than if he'd yelled at her to stop.
"Shouldn't we help him?"
"No."
It was one of the that's-the-end-of-that-discussion-cause-my-pretty-hair-says-so 'no's.
Kagome was disturbed enough that, in under a month, she had developed categories for the types of no's that her mouth rebelliously asked another question before her brain caught up.
"Do you know him?"
"He's my brother."
And that really was the end of the discussion.
###
Three years now.
She scowled over at the unmoving figure silhouetted by the shadows cast by the fire.
She sometimes wondered if there had been some way back then that she could have gone back to her family and her time, something she could have done differently, but she'd learned to accept most things with a sigh and a shrug.
Stupid arrogant jerk had rubbed off on her.
She knew she was being unfair- he could have abandoned her long ago and she knew all too well what life here would have been like without his protection.
Just sometimes...
Most days it was easy to be cheerful, but she'd always needed to have things to love, to show affection to. In his own twisted way, Jaken kept her sane, even if only because he reacted, but he was always being sent off on pointless trips and-
And-
Truth to tell, she was lonely. If Sesshoumaru would have even been willing to argue with her it would have been a different matter, but he refused to indicate now that he saw her as anything more than a pet beneath his notice, an obligation that his own strange sense of honour required him to fulfill. She refused to consider how her own, non-existent of course, feelings just made everything that much worse.
Why hadn't she just left him and his stupid perfect hair to rot in the first place?
###
There was so much blood.
She was still in shock, emerging from the well, staring at her hands where the light had come out and burned the centipede woman.
She hadn't expected to trip over a large, bleeding body.
In hindsight, it may not have been such a good idea to try and help something so very, very obviously not-human almost immediately after being pulled into a dry-well by something not-human.
But somehow, she couldn't stop herself from turning what was left of his clothing into bandages, binding the numerous deep and not so deep wounds with surprisingly steady hands.
She just hadn't expected the overwhelming rage when those golden eyes had snapped open.
###
"No."
"I just want a bath-"
"No."
That was the no of I-don't-really-mean-no-but-I'm-going-to-say-no-just-to-see-how-long-it-takes-for-you-to-lose-your-temper-and-then-I'll-smirk-when-I-think-you-aren't-looking.
As Kagome had discovered, it wasn't that Sesshoumaru didn't have a sense of humour- it was that it was evil.
Like his hair.
And she wasn't obsessed with his hair.
Even if she was bitter about how he managed to keep it so silky and shiny when she had to live without shampoo and conditioner. She really, really missed shampoo and conditioner.
But she was going to have a bath now that it looked like Sesshoumaru had gotten bored of the game. As she found herself a clean kimono, she realized what the niggling feeling of missing something was.
"Is Jaken gone again?"
She couldn't see Sesshoumaru's face, but she could have sworn that his shoulders stiffened for a second...
"Do you miss my retainer?"
Kagome frowned. That was a strange and very un-Sesshoumaru-like question, but she'd answer as honestly as she could.
"Yes. Is he going to be coming back again soon?"
"No."
Kagome was really worried as she made her way off to the stream to wash.
Why, for the first time in close to three years, couldn't she recognize the type of no?
###
Kagome was fuming, and underneath that, worried to death. There had to be some reason that the youkai and evil men and jerks of all kinds kept seeking her out. And she was almost positive that Sesshoumaru knew what it was because he stiffened and wouldn't answer everytime she asked him what this 'shikon no tama' they kept asking for was.
It really hurt that after two years he still wouldn't trust her, would still treat her like some kind of pet who occasionally performed interesting tricks. It hurt even worse that she was putting him and Jaken into danger and she didn't even know why.
Her luck must have been with her though because it was one of the rare times when Sesshoumaru left her alone with Jaken. No matter how much Jaken whined about stupid human wenches and untrained mikos who could accidentally kill them both, ever since the first time she'd helped set his wounds, he'd always given her an extra piece of food at meals and helped pick out the nicest material for her kimonos when they passed through the villages. Not only that but without Jaken, she probably wouldn't know anything about the taiyoukai or this world. Heck, without Jaken she probably wouldn't even have known Sesshoumaru's name.
"Jaken-"
Hee. He was kind of cute when he got all shifty-eyed like that.
"What is it about me that attracts all the demons and what is this jewel they keep asking for?"
Wow. She hadn't known that Jaken could sweat.
"Stupid wench. There's nothing special about you. My Lord Sesshoumaru has always had many demons who are stupid enough to challenge his authority."
She narrowed her eyes. Well, if he was going to play it like that...
"Then since Lord Sesshoumaru isn't here right now, I shouldn't be in any danger if I wander off on my own."
It was a low blow and completely unfair, because, even without being a demon magnet, a young woman in an expensive kimono would be in trouble by herself. Fortunately, she seemed to have rattled Jaken enough that he'd forgotten that.
"My lady-"
Whoa. That was a new one.
"Please... There is a-a possibility that you might have �something- that stupid demons with no taste might want, who knows what that might be-"
She hugged him. She couldn't help it- the backwards display of concern made her happier than nearly anything else he could have said. She'd have to remember to make him a really pretty flower garland the next time they stopped in a meadow-
When had Sesshoumaru got back?
Why was he staring at them?
And why did he look almost... upset?
###
Kagome shivered as she tried to mentally overcome the shock of the cold water. She had overcome the desire to have a bath every day, but she'd be damned if she smelled any worse than she had to when there was somewhere that she could wash herself.
As a method of distraction, her mind turned towards Sesshoumaru's strange behavior over the last while. It wasn't that Sesshoumaru was ever going to have a slumber party and sit there with her, painting his nails and giggling about boys. But... but...
Well, she'd thought they'd almost been friends- as much as a pet and her master could be friends. He'd always listened to her long, one-sided conversations and never interrupted, but a few months ago, he'd started volunteering a little information himself. It was nothing that she would consider a conversation with anyone else, but with Sesshoumaru it was the equivalent of verbal diarrhea. He'd even suggested, casually, a few meditation techniques that might help her finally get some control over her spiritual powers.
Then three weeks ago...
He'd just stopped.
Everything.
Jaken was going on longer and longer errands, only back for a few hours at most, and Sesshoumaru was only talking to her if he absolutely had to. Nothing she said or did seemed to get a rise out of him, and he was so disgusted that he wouldn't even �look- at her anymore. Tonight was the most words she'd gotten out of him in the previous two weeks combined.
And...
It hurt.
She cared about the stupid idiot. He and Jaken were the only things she had here and it hurt more than she could possibly have expected to have him treating her as if he hated her. She knew that she was nothing but trouble-
And maybe this would be the time to finally leave them, so that they wouldn't have to deal with the problems she brought.
Her fingers shook with the force of the grief she wouldn't acknowledge as she numbly put on her kimono.
A small noise behind her made her spin around-
Face to face with a smirking Sesshoumaru, his claws dripping poison, poised to strike.
Why?
###
He'd been unconscious again when the other youkai attacked.
She hadn't thought, hadn't hesitated. Whatever this angry-eyed being was, no matter how mad he was, she was looking after him and nothing was allowed to hurt him.
This time, the light from her hands made the centipede explode into little pieces.
This time, the world mercifully dissolved into black.
When the splitting headache finally allowed her to focus, the blank golden eyes didn't even blink.
"You are a fool."
She numbly noticed the fine tremours in his hands and legs as he stood upright. She wondered if he was always that pale and drawn.
She wondered if he had wrapped the expertly tied bandage around her aching stomach.
She wondered what on earth she was going to do when he started to walk away, leaving her staring after him.
He turned, his eyes still expressionless.
"You are coming with me."
###
Kagome stiffened, felt her power gathering within her because she knew �knew- that whether or not Sesshoumaru cared about her, whether or not he even liked her, he would never violate his own twisted code of honour by hurting her like this.
"You aren't Sesshoumaru."
The Sesshoumaru-that-wasn't-Sesshoumaru froze, claws dripping poison. And laughed.
"You're much wiser, this time, Kikyou. Unfortunately, it won't make you any less dead."
Who was Kikyou-
claws descending/energy pouring out/screaming/howl of pain
Darkness.
###
She was shaking from the fever, aching all over.
"Sorry... I'm so weak..."
"You are not weak. Just untrained."
Even in her fever addled mind, Kagome felt a surge of happiness at his words- it was so rare that Sesshoumaru gave anything resembling a compliment.
"Will you help me train then?"
"No."
Stupid jerk to want her to remain weak and useless--
"I will protect you."
Like a dog or a trained monkey. But even that tiny display of concern nearly brought tears to her eyes.
She was so tired...
She'd insisted on helping the sick woman in the village they'd passed through and it seemed that this was the price of her stubbornness. Jaken was gone on some errand again and Sesshoumaru was playing a surprisingly gentle nursemaid as he wiped her face down with wet clothes. That would have been bad enough, if he hadn't suddenly picked her up and pulled her against his chest.
She knew that the only way to keep her warm was to share his body heat and the heat of his pelt. Knowing didn't reduce the power of a sudden wave of dizziness that had nothing to do with fever. In a wave of fear, she started babbling like she normally did, telling random stories of her family, her childhood, of things she'd seen on her travels and, like normal, Sesshoumaru listened unquestioningly, never telling her she was crazy or asking her to stop.
Maybe it was the fever loosening her tongue. Maybe it was the steady beat of his heart making her crazy enough to finally ask him.
"Why don't you ever tell me to be quiet?"
His voice was so quiet as she drifted into sleep that she was never sure afterwards if she'd just imagined it.
"Your talk... amuses me."
###
She was staring at a piece of armour on his shoulder.
It was a very pretty piece of armour. Made that much prettier and more interesting because there was no way she would raise her gaze above it to meet the disappointment and anger she knew would be in his eyes.
Since the fake Sesshoumaru was gone, it was pretty obvious that he'd had to save her. Again.
And since she seemed to now have yet another biting pain in her stomach �why did they always aim for her waist?- it seemed that she'd managed to pass out and get hurt. Again.
But worst of all, just below the armour she was staring at, just above the lap she was sitting on, she could see the angry lines of wounds that hadn't had time to heal while she'd been unconscious. He'd managed to get himself seriously hurt because of her. Again.
After his avoidance, his coldness over the last while and the obvious fact that he'd more than paid off whatever debt of honour he owed her long ago, it was time to finally lay this out for both of them. Maybe if he left her, he and Jaken would be safe.
"Why... why do you keep me with you?"
He didn't say anything and she forced herself to continue, still not able to meet his eyes, to know for sure that she was nothing but a burden.
"I'm- I'm a demon magnet and an untrained miko and clumsy and-"
"You talk too much."
Oh.
That was no need for him to pull her face up so that he could see it. Wasn't it enough that she was crying now without him humiliating her completely-
Oh.
That- that wasn't an expression of hate.
What- what was he doing?
Was he �licking- the tears on her face?
Oh gods.
That shouldn't feel that good...
"My father was a fool."
That look... It couldn't be...
"But apparently... so am I."
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