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Visiting Teaching Conference Idea

Understanding and Loving Each Sister

Purpose: Learn to understand other sisters who seem different to you and to value each other. Understand the importance of and
Call each sister in the ward and ask them to come with a specific thing wrong (I usually picked something to ask them ahead of time based on personality since some are more daring than others.) Some of the things we used were: Two different shoes, slip showing, different socks, dress or shirt backwards, etc.

This served three purposes -- one being that it gave each sister a reason to come because they were participating and had obligated themselves to come (yes we did have much better attendance with this); second we used it as a game to see who could find the most things wrong which helped them to get to know each other and talk a little; third I used it later as an object lesson that I will explain later.

As the sisters arrived they were involved immediately since we handed them a paper with the list of things wrong and they were to begin writing in the names of the sisters that fit each item.

After an appropriate amount of time for mingling and everyone getting a chance see each other and laugh and talk, we had everyone take their seats and we read off the correct list and recognized those with the greatest
number correct.
At this point we used it as a object lesson and asked what if someone, perhaps a neighbor or someone at the gas station, etc had seen them with say a dress backwards or two different shoes, they would judge and think something was wrong with them, etc. Of course they would be judging incorrectly because they did not have all the facts. We then talked about judging each other and how we often don't take the time to get to know our sisters before we judge them and usually incorrectly.
Some good poems that go with this idea are: (After the poems keep scrolling down as there is more)

WHEN YOU KNOW A FELLOW
By Edgar A. Guest

When you get to know a fellow, know his joys and know his cares,
When you've come to understand him and the burdens that he bears,
When you've learned the fight he's making and the troubles in his way,
Then you find that he is different than you thought him yesterday.
You find his faults are trivial and there's not so much to blame
In the brother that you jeered at when you only knew his name.

You are quick to see the blemish in the distant neighbor's style,
You can point to all his errors and may sneer at him the while,
And your prejudices fatten and your hates more violent grow
As you talk about the failures of the man you do not know,
But when drawn a little closer, and your hands and shoulders touch,
You find the traits you hated really don't amount to much.

When you get to know a fellow, know his every mood and whim,
You begin to find the texture of the splendid side of him;
You begin to understand him, and you cease to scoff and sneer,
For with understanding always prejudices disappear.
You begin to find his virtues and his faults you cease to tell,
For you seldom hate a fellow when you know him very well.

When next you start in sneering and your phrases turn to blame,
Know more of him you censure than his business and his name;
For it's likely that acquaintance would your prejudice dispel
And you'd really come to like him if you knew him very well.
When you get to know a fellow and you under- stand his ways,
Then his faults won't really matter, for you'll find a lot to praise.
 

THE JUNK BOX
by Edgar A. Guest

 My father often used to say:
"My boy don't throw a thing away:
You'll find a use for it some day."

So in a box he stored up things,
Bent nails, old washers, pipes and rings,
And bolts and nuts and rusty springs.

Despite each blemish and each flaw,
Some use for everything he saw;
With things material, this was law.

And often when he'd work to do,
He searched the junk box through and through
And found old stuff as good as new.

And I have often thought since then,
That father did the same with men;
He knew he'd need their help again.

It seems to me he understood
That men, as well as iron and wood,
May broken be and still be good.

Despite the vices he'd display
He never threw a man away,
But kept him for another day.

A human junk box is this earth
And into it we're tossed at birth,
To wait the day we'll be of worth.

Though bent and twisted, weak of will,
And full of flaws and lacking skill,
Some service each can render still.

 Okay after this presentation about learning to get to know others thoroughly and not judging and accepting differences, there are a couple of directions that I have then taken at different times. One is to give a presentation on Meyers Briggs Personality types.

Another is to have either two tables or one long table divided in half. On one side have it all set up a head of time with very nice refreshments, center piece, nice table cloth, etc. Next divide the sisters into two groups. To the first group tell them how much you love and care about each one of them and point out that you wanted to do something special for them and so you brought one of the nicest table cloths you could find (pointing to the table all set and beautiful.) Then turn to the second group and assure them that you love them just as much as the first group, but explain that you were just in a rush all week and that you meant to bring a nice table cloth for them too -- of course on your way to the meeting you realized that in all your rush you forgot it so you looked through your car to see what you had for a table covering and found an old newspaper. (at this point bring out some news paper and begin spreading it out over the table) All the time you are doing this, point out that the newspaper covers the table just the same as the nice table cloth and keep repeating that you love them just as much as the first group repeat that it is all the same often as well.

Go through everything on the table this way, if you have a nice fresh vegetable tray for example, for the second group have the same vegetables in the raw (carrots still with the green tops on them and dirt if possible for example) if you have chips for the first group, bring raw potatoes, salt, and oil for the second group and point out where the kitchen is. What you use depends on what refreshments you are having. Above all repeat to the first group how much you cared for them that is why you went to so much trouble for them and then to the second group repeat often how it is just the same and how you love the second group just as much and that you were just very busy and in a rush but that you meant to do everything nice for them too.

Needless to say, you don't fool anyone and it certainly isn't the same. At the end of the presentation, assure the second group that the refreshments were really for everyone. The point is that how much we care and love someone does show no matter how much we try to convince ourselves or others that it is the same; it isn't. Love is something is that is felt by everyone. One point that I always make is that love is not necessarily shown by taking plates of cookies or loaves of bread or poems, while these are nice and can be part of showing concern, love is shown through intangible ways, it is sincere concern and caring for another person.