| Dear James, I am writing because I need to ask you a question. I like this girl but she doesn't even know I exist. I try and try to gain her attention, but all she does is treat me like I am the phantom of the office. Last week I tried to ask her out for dinner but before I could, another guy came along who has more money and is more attractive then me and asked her out and she said yes. He's a jerk and I don't think she likes him but if it's not him it will be another guy as she is one fine lady. Jamie I need your help to get her to notice me and only me. --Lonely in Lanark |
| Dear Lonely in Lanark, Well, what can I say. No, really, what can I say? There are many ways you can go about this, but it depends totally on you personality. You can say, "I deserve better than her anyway," and just leave it at that. Or you can maybe take a closer look at where your problem truly lies. It seems to me as if you both are two very incompatible people and you would be wise to look elsewhere for a romantic relationship. If she seems too caught up in herself and acts as if a good looging and rich individual is all that would complete her in life, then true love could not be found for her, so why chase after a dark matter? In many cases there is more then meets the eye, but there are those instances where the book and it's cover say the same thing. If I were you, I would just say nevermind with that. You're just going to kill yourself in thinking (which can trun to believing) that you are not "good" enough for this "fine lady". Which is not true, you just weren't meant to develop it intoanything more then a fantasy of sorts. It is a well-stated perception to say, "the catch is not as sweet as the hunt", or that a fantasy trun reality is never as good as you imagined it in your mind. The mind is the most powerful tool we have from God, so it can be used to your advantage in ways that let you grow, but can also lead to your mental, physical, spiritual, and material demise. Notice yourself and how you can better your own position in life and relationships, before you look for advice from others. I can't help you become more noticed, but I will help you notice yourself and others around you in a different perspective. Thank you very much for you inquiry, and just remember youcreate your own heaven or hell, it's all in your head. -Ashton |
| If you have any questions or problems that you would like some advice on, send them to [email protected] |
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| Dear James, I was asked by one of my older male friends (who has a girlfriend) to go over to his house after school and I agreed. He's a couple of years older then me, but I felt I could trust him. We went up to his room and watched T.V. for a bit, then just chilled and talked. Amidst the conversation, he asked if he could kiss me and I didn't know how to react, so I freaked out. I backed up and told him that I was not a @$%!, and left. As of now we still say hi to each other, but I think he's trying to aviod seeing or talking to me. What should I do? Did I make the right decision in this situation, or should I have just kissed him? |
| Dear Writer, I feel as if you made the best decision you could have, under such circumstances. He was a friend of yours, with a girlfriend, whom you trusted. He make an approach at you, and you wisely declined. It's obviously going to be a little awkward for the first week of so, but your friendship has not met its demise (unless you or he wishes it to be). I hope you both learned something from this, and will be able to grow from your mistakes unless you wish them to repeat again. I'm not saying you make any mistakes in your choices, but people are forever being tested and just know that repetitive problems are the ones you must conquer on the way in order to understand who you are. You learned that he's a dishonest cheater, and he learned that you aren't a @$%! Trust can be a powerful thing. It can be just as detrimental as it is positive in many personal relationships, so just try and see past such deceptions next time you're stuck in submission. All decent men would love to have a respectable female they can trust and vice versa. So just remember that next time you get stuck between a rock and a hard place. |