"Does it sometimes seem....

like you're being watched?

* * * ONLINE STRESS RELIEF * * *



Welcome�to�the"Psychiatric Hotline"

� �Due�to�the�increased"STRESS-RELATED PROBLEMS"�

encountered�by�online�users,

the following�services�are�available� �

24 hours a day, 7 days a week

by using�your�Touch-Tone�phone....

-->�(1-800-YRU-NUTS)�<--


�



(1) If�you�are�Obsessive-Compulsive,����

���� please�press�1�repeatedly.

(2) If�you�are�Co-Dependent,�

please ask�someone�else�to�press�2.
��

(3)�If�you�have�Multiple�Personalities,�

� �please�press�3, 4, 5, and�6.

(4)�If�you�are�Paranoid-Delusional,�we��

���� know�who�you�are�and�what�you�want,

��� So stay�on�the�line�while�we�trace �

your call.

(5)�If�you�are�Schizophrenic,�listen���

�� carefully,�and�a�"little�voice"�����

� will�tell�you�what�to�press.
����

(6)�If�you�are�Manic-Depressive,�it��

� doesn't�matter�what�you�press, ��

no one will answer you, anyhow.





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