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"Fine": This is the word a woman uses at the end of
any argument that
she feels she is right about but needs to shut you
up. NEVER use fine to describe how a woman looks.
This will cause you to have one of 'those' arguments.
"Five minutes": This is half an hour. It is
equivalent to the five minutes that your football game
is going to last before you take out the trash, so
it's an even trade.
"Nothing": This means something and you should be on
your toes. "Nothing" is usually used to describe the
feeling a woman has of wanting to turn you inside out,
upside down, and backwards. "Nothing" usually
signifies an argument that will last "Five Minutes"
and end with the word "Fine".
"Go Ahead" (with raised eyebrows): This is a dare.
One that will result in a woman getting upset over
"Nothing" and will end with the word "Fine".
"Go Ahead" (normal eyebrows): This means "I give up"
or "do what you want because I don't care". You will
get a raised eyebrow "Go ahead" in just a few minutes,
followed by "Nothing" and "Fine" and she will
talk to you in about "Five Minutes" when she cools
off.
Loud Sigh: This is not actually a word, but is still
often a verbal statement very misunderstood by men. A
"Loud Sigh" means she thinks you are an idiot at that
moment and wonders why she is wasting her time
standing here and arguing with you over "Nothing".
Soft Sigh: Again, not a word, but a verbal statement.
"Soft Sighs" are one of the few things that some men
actually understand. She is content. Your best bet is
to not move or breathe and she will stay content.
"Oh": This word followed by any statement is trouble.
Example; "Oh, let me get that." Or, "Oh, I talked to
him about what you were doing last night." If she says
"Oh" before a statement, RUN, do not walk, to the
nearest exit. She will tell you that she is "Fine"
when she is done tossing your clothes out the window,
but do not expect her to talk to you for at least 2
days. "Oh" as the lead to a sentence usually signifies
that you are caught in a lie. Do not try to lie more
to get out of it, or you will get raised eyebrows "Go
ahead" followed by acts so unspeakable that we can't
bring ourselves to write about them.
"That's Okay": This is one of the most dangerous
statements that a woman can say to a man. "That's
Okay" means that she wants to think long and hard
before paying you retributions for what ever it is
that you have done. "That's Okay" is often used with the
word "Fine" and used in conjunction with a raised
eyebrow "Go ahead". At some point in the near future
when she has plotted and planned, you are going to be
in some mighty big trouble.
"Please Do": This is not a statement, it is an offer.
A woman is giving you the chance to come up with
whatever excuse or reason you have for doing whatever
it is that you have done. You have a fair
chance to tell the truth, so be careful and you
shouldn't get a "That's Okay".
"Thanks": A woman is thanking you. Do not faint; just
say you're welcome.
"Thanks a lot": This is much different from "Thanks".
A woman will say, "Thanks a lot" when she is really
ticked off at you. It signifies that you have hurt her
in some callous way, and will be followed by
the "Loud Sigh". Be careful not to ask what is wrong
after the "Loud Sigh", as she will only tell you
"Nothing". I hope this clears up any misunderstandings.
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