tons o fun for rob and steve
Lauren's trio purity test
Check all boxes for which your answer is "yes".
The "submit" button is at the bottom.
Have you ever played an instrument?
--Was it a clarinet?
--If it wasn't a clarinet, have you ever been named an honorary clarinetist?
Have you ever been in All-State Orchestra?
Can you sing the entire finale from Tchaik 4 on cue?
Do you often make references to crack?
--Peppermint crack?
Have you ever attempted to make peppermint crack?
Are you excited by classical music?
When you want an exciting night out, do you first go to Music Hall?
Have you ever been to more than one symphony concert in one weekend?
Do you gossip about local clarinetists?
Do you spend more time backstage talking to CSO musicians than you spend talking to your mother?
Have you ever taken flowers backstage to a CSO concert?
Have you ever had to run to get to a CSO concert in time?
--more than a block?
--more than five blocks?
--more than ten?
Do the musicians on stage wave at you when you walk into Music Hall?
Does the name "Paavo" mean anything to you?
Do you have any Paavo paraphernalia?
--On your bulletin board?
--On your refrigerator?
--On your car?
--On your mom's car?
--On your clarinet case?
--Tattooed on your ass?
Have you met Paavo?
Have you talked to Paavo?
Have you had your picture taken with Paavo?
Have you ever been kissed by Paavo?
Have you ever had your picture taken while being kissed by Paavo?
Do you take pictures at the grocery store?
When you're bored, do you go to Wild Oats?
Does the presence of a video camera make an ordinary day extraordinary?
Have you ever seen The Emperor's New Groove?
--Twice?
--Five times?
--More than ten?
Do you refer to the Emperor's New Groove as "the llama movie"?
Have you ever spent an exceedingly long period of time shopping for llamas?
--Did you find one?
Do you enjoy the comedy of George Carlin?
Can you recite George Carlin bits?
--Without the help of a cd?
Do you understand the term "robgasm"?
Have you ever witnessed a robgasm?
Do you have a quote in Lauren's quote book?
--More than one?
--More than ten?
--More than twenty?
Have you ever visited
Lauren's online quote book?
Do you have your own quote book?
Have you ever seen Saving Grace?
Do you make frequent references to cornflakes?
Are you excited by the Powerpuff girls?
Do you believe that you ARE a Powerpuff girl?
Have you ever seen Rent?
--willingly?
Do you spend more time trying to find the restaurant where you are eating dinner than you spend actually eating dinner?
Have you ever been to Amelia?
Have you ever been to a party in Amelia?
--did it involve handcuffs?
--lighter fluid?
Do you believe that Pier One is the root of all evil?
Have you ever ridden in a 1986 Acura Integra?
--a silver one?
--with rust?
Have you ever put air in the tires of said car?
Have you ever flown down a hill in said car?
--did you laugh?
Have you ever tried to jump start said car?
--twice?
Do you picnic in the park even when the temperature is below freezing?
Are you a vegetarian?
Do you make dying animal noises when people eat meat?
Have you ever had anyone make dying animal noises at you?
Have you ever had a multiple liquid baptization?
Do you know how to play chair?
Has there ever been a naked man on your roof?
Have you ever been told to "Join the sannneeeeeeee"?
Do you attach the prefix "uber" to non-german words?
When you meet someone's mother do you say "I'm sorry"?
Have you ever owned a year round fucking goldfish?
Do the words "YOUR GOAT" mean anything to you?
Do you have a nickname?
Will you forever be known as "the pageturner"?
Have you ever been known as "the Steve with a soprano voice"?
Do you refer to yourself as God?
Have you ever pondered the flamability of various party snacks?
Do you know what grapes sound like when you roast them?
Have you ever played with hot wax?
Have you ever been fed hot wax?
Do you know why the men's bathroom on the second floor of Music Hall is inferior? [He was convulsing!]
Would poker be more fun if you were blindfolded?
Have you ever had a pasta orgy?
--with members of the Cincinnati Symphony Orchestra?
Does the Cincinnati Symphony clarinet section buy you ice cream after concerts?
Do you get off on Ronald Reagan?
Do you play James Bond with slaps, not guns?
Email Me Your Results!