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The world wide web has opened the doors of communication. We can meet friends in other countries, research a favorite topic, download fun things for our computers, stay in touch with e-mail, and buy everything imaginable on eBay. The WWW has literally given us the world. Unfortunately, it's also given every kook with a modem a forum to express his craziness to the world. Let's face it. Some web sites just shouldn't exist. I'm not talking about hate sites and kiddie porn. Those kinds of sites are detestable and should be outlawed. What I'm talking about are the harmless garden-variety freaks who are good for a laugh or two. I've made a list of some of the more unusual web sites I've come across. Enjoy!
Collecting strange things is fine.
I Love Pens! :: Yes, she sure does! And she's put pictures of her entire pen collection on the web! Sugar Packet Collectors :: Yes, this guy really collects sugar packets. Now, some I can see, like ones that have the faces of presidents on them. But sugar packets from Holiday Inn? Wow. How mind-numbingly boring. I guess sugar packet collecting is a popular pastime in Jolly Old England, as there is a national UK Sucrologists Club. No wonder our ancestors revolted! Furnace Sticker Museum :: Yes, you read that right. You know the sticker on the side of your furnace that has all the information about it? Some guy collects these from old furnaces, photographs them, and puts the on the web for all to enjoy. Pylon of the Month :: You know those big towers that hold up electrical wires? This guy photographs them and picks a special one to be Pylon of the Month. There's just nothing quite like a pylon at sunrise.
A Shrine to Toast :: Yep, it really is a shrine to toast. Things I Pushed Through Toast :: Speaking of toast... Bunny Survival Tests :: Those cute little Just Born marshmallow treats are put to several "survival" tests, including microwaving, boiling, burning, being run over by cars, and being strapped to a brick and dropped to the ground. The test conductors? Those cute little Peeps. Bunnies Strike Back! :: A sequel site to Bunny Survival Tests, the bunnies band together and run tests on Peeps. Please rest assured that no actual bunnies & chicks were injured in the making of this site! Peep Jousting :: Take two peeps and put a toothpick in each one. Put them on a plate with the toothpicks facing each other. Now microwave them and see which one stabs the other first. Welcome to the world of peep jousting. Turn Into A Cabbage! :: Click a button, and Poof! you're a cabbage. You can also turn into a cauliflower or Brussels sprout. I don't know who has more time on their hands: the person who made this page or the people who turn themselves into cabbages! Fun with Foil :: How do you seek revenge on your enemies? Cover every single item in his cubicle with foil! This site unfortunately has some foul language.
Sometimes fact is stranger than fiction. E-mail? The French Bet to Differ :: Weird Al sings a song called "Genius in France," in which he describes how stupid he is, and then goes on to say that in spite of his stupidity, he's still a "genius in France" ("I'm too dumb to put on my pants, but that still makes me a genius in France!"). I thought the song was rather mean-spirited and xenophobic until I saw this Yahoo article. Weird Al may have a point! Feeling Pinched on $90,000 :: Yes, a woman actually cries about how tough it is to make ends meet when you're a family of four living on a budget of $90,000 a year. My heart breaks for you. Now try cutting back by 1/2 or 2/3 and see how real families live!
And you thought the weird stuff just showed up on eBay! Ocotodog's Frankfurter Converter :: This clever little device cuts plain old hot dogs into cute little octopus shapes. For a measly $16.95 + s&h, you too can play with your food. No word on how to get those "tentacles" to stay on the bun! Bumper Dumper :: It's a portable toilet that attaches to your bumper. No, really, it is! No word on how to deal with the obvious privacy factor of using a toilet that is hooked to the back of your car! Jesus Sports Statues :: What better gift for your little one than a statue of Jesus (complete with long white robe and sandals) engaging in your child's favorite sport? For only $19.95 + s&h, your religious sports dreams can come true. I am puzzled by the martial arts statue, though. Didn't Jesus teach non-violence? My favorite is the skiing statue, with Jesus whipping down the slopes with skis strapped to his sandals! But I would have to assume that Jesus' favorite sport is tennis, since the score always begins with "Love All."
I thoroughly support freedom of religion, but really, people, get a grip! Free Delivery! :: Wow. What can I say about Stan & Elizabeth Madrak, the folks at Demonbuster.com? These are the freakiest people I've ever come across. They teach you how to get free delivery (deliverance) from demons, which apparently infect every product imaginable and cause every bad thing known to man. Got a headache? Arthritis? Cancer? Can't lose weight or kick the smoking habit? Going bald? You've got a demon! Can't potty train your child? He has a demon called "you can't make me," and once you drive it out, little Johnny will use the john without any further problems. They also warn about the little-known everyday articles that allow demons free range of your home, such as candles, deodorant, and Lawry's Seasoned Salt. (Want to know why these things are evil without searching the whole website? Click here.) Apparently, however, there's nothing wrong with Mary Kay cosmetics (despite the site's warning against using perfume), since Elizabeth is a consultant and a link to her Mary Kay web page is included on every page!
Lip Balm Anonymous :: That Carmex habit is hard to kick! I am really hoping that this is a parody site, but they sound awfully serious to me. International Federation of Competitive Eating :: Remember that little Japanese guy who downed a zillion hot dogs in 30 seconds? There is an entire organization for people like him. Micro Wrestling Federation :: Midget wrestling. I am in awe. Lunar Registration :: Buy moon property for around $20/acre and get a free Lunar Republic flag bumper sticker!
Some topics might not be strange or humorous on their own, but these clever people have given them a brand new twist! Cat People :: Heh, heh, I'm one of them. This essay has a little bad language, but it's hilarious! Parasitic Twin :: For those not fascinated by everything that can go wrong with the human body, let me explain. Sometimes identical twins don't completely separate in the womb, and one may not fully develop. Thus, there are stories of people who have half-formed siblings hanging from their chests, coming out of their faces, etc. (For example, the little two-headed Bangladesh boy who was unsuccessfully operated on a few months ago.) Pretty freaky. This guy, however, decides it would be fun to have a parasitic twin. He names his Jimmy, and describes their adventures. Recipe for Possum or Bandicoot Soup :: A real recipe, with some really funny commentary!
The Flat Earth Society :: You've heard the rumors. They're true. The Flat Earth Society really exists, and yes, they really believe that the earth is flat. They even quote scripture to prove it. Proof the Earth is Hollow :: Wait a minute! It's not flat! It's hollow! Not only is it hollow, it's inhabited!
Disney Tattoo Guy :: George likes Disney just a little too well. He has 1650 Disney tattoos covering most of his body. Can't think of 1650 Disney characters? Take a look at this guy! He includes a lot of minor characters as well as live-action characters. Even Walt himself has a place of honor at the base of his neck. Cryptie's Home Page :: Cryptie is my all-time favorite internet fruitcake! He's a middle-aged Goth (humorous enough), with the typical dripping blood fonts, cheesy poetry, and graveyard shots. But what I really love about Cryptie is this picture. You just can't beat a Goth on a forklift! Peter Pan's Home Page :: And the fruitiest fruitcake award goes to (drumroll, please!) Peter Pan! This guy dresses up like Peter Pan and dances around. He's looking for his "Tinkerbell." Need I say more?
Check out these sites! But please be warned, some of the sites they recommend do contain some adult material (mainly cross-dressers and strange fetishes). But a lot of the sites are really funny! Worst of the Web :: They have archives back to the dawn of the Internet. Okay, not really, but they do have several years' worth of fruitcakes. Losers.org :: The title says it all.
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