A few weeks went by with AJ stopping over every other day to spend time with his daughter.  As much as he and Dawn both hoped that, in time, things would get easier, it never did.  It was just as painful as the first time. 

Arianna couldn’t understand why her Daddy couldn’t stay with them, Dawn didn’t know what she was going to do about their relationship and AJ didn’t know what more he could do to make things better between them.  They missed each other immensely, neither one of them hid that fact.  They also knew that they needed to sit down and talk. 

They made plans to do it one evening when they could be alone.  D and Nick decided to take Arianna out to McDonald’s, then to the park, to give Dawn and AJ some privacy.  

Dawn was nervous about the meeting, but mostly nervous about telling AJ that she had kissed Noah.  She knew it would hurt him, she knew he would be mad, livid was more like it, but she felt that it was something she had to do.  She had to be honest with him.  They had always had a very open and honest relationship, at least she thought they did. 

When the time approached, she sat in silence and waited for him to arrive.  She looked around the house, making sure everything was perfect.  She didn’t know why, she just needed something to do while she waited. 

Suddenly, there was a light knock at the door.  Dawn looked over at the clock.  He was ten minutes early.  She shook her head and wheeled herself over to the door and opened it.  AJ stood there with an uncomfortable smile on his face holding a bouquet of peach roses.

"Hi," he smiled.

"Hi, come on in," she smiled back as she let him in.

"Umm, here, these are for you," he handed her the roses.

"That was so sweet. They’re beautiful, thank you," she smiled at him.  

She felt so uncomfortable, she felt like they barely knew each other.  They had been together for two years, they knew each other since Junior High, they were best friends, why was this so difficult?

She wheeled herself over to the counter and looked helplessly at the cabinet which contained the vases, just out of her reach.  She frowned and dropped the flowers on the counter in frustration. 

"Here, I’ll get it," AJ offered. 

He knew Dawn and he knew that she didn’t like feeling helpless, but she obviously couldn’t do this on her own. 

"I hate this thing," she complained, referring to the wheelchair.

"Have you been to the doctor lately?"  AJ asked as he got a vase down and filled it with water.

"Yeah, he said everything looks good and I have to stay off my feet.  With all the problems I had with Arianna, he doesn’t want me taking any chances.  Even when I’m all healed, he still doesn’t want me on my feet for long periods of time."

He arranged the flowers in the vase and turned to her.

"Have you been to the baby doctor yet?"  He asked in anticipation.

"Not yet, I have an appointment next week…." She looked away from him.  

She wanted to ask him if he wanted to go with her, but she didn’t know if she should.

AJ just stood there in silence.  He was waiting for Dawn to ask him to go to the doctor’s with her, but she never did.  He wanted to pursue it and ask who was going with her, but he figured since she didn’t ask him to go, she must not want him there. 

Dawn looked up at him and their eyes met. She looked away, trying to fight the urge to give in and tell him she wanted him back.

"Angel, what’s happened to us?"  He asked softly. 

Dawn was surprised at his question.  She looked over at him and could see the pain in his eyes.  It broke her heart.

"I don’t know, Alex," she whispered as she looked away from him.  She couldn’t bear to look at him. 

He slowly walked over to her and knelt down in front of her.  He cupped her chin in his hand.  He gently lifted her head so she was looking at him.

"Angel, please don’t push me away.  I love you so much, I can’t live without you…."

She closed her eyes as a teardrop slowly slid down her cheek, closely followed by another.

"I’m so sorry for everything I’ve done.  I’m sorry I hurt you, I’m sorry I betrayed you…"

"Alex, stop, please….." Dawn cut him off as she started sobbing.

"Baby, what’s wrong?"  He put his arm around her. 

She buried her face in his hands as he leaned his head against hers.

"I did something terrible, Alex.  You’re going to hate me."

AJ’s mind started racing.  What had she done? He couldn’t imagine that it could be anything that bad.

"I could never hate you, Angel.  Tell me…." He said softly as he stroked her hair.

She looked up at him with tears streaming down her face.

"Can we go into the living room?" 

"Sure," he answered. 

He wheeled her into the living room and sat down on the couch.  He sat there waiting for her to speak.  He was afraid of what she was going to say.

"What do you need to tell me?"  He asked.

Dawn took a deep breath and looked at him.  She had no idea how she was going to tell him that she kissed Noah.

"You know you can tell me anything."  He paused. "What’s it about?"

She finally decided to just come out with it.

"Alex, the day that I got that letter from that tramp……"

"Yeah?"

"Well, Noah was there, he was there when I read it.." she continued.

"Uh-huh," he swallowed hard.  

Just the mention of Noah’s name made his blood boil.  He hated to hear that Noah was anywhere near Dawn at any point in time, even though he knew that he was.

"He stayed with me for a little while, to make sure I was okay."

‘I’ll bet he did,’ he seethed. 

He could feel his blood pressure rising.  He certainly didn’t like where this conversation was heading.

"I was miserable, Alex….and hurt.  I felt betrayed.  I had nowhere to turn…."

AJ put his face in his hands.  Whatever it was, he didn’t want to hear it.  

"Alex, look at me…..please," Dawn pleaded.

He hesitantly looked up at her.

"Please don’t hate me."

"I told you, I could never hate you.  I may get mad, I may yell and swear a lot, but I’ll never hate you."

Dawn knew he would be mad, she knew he hated Noah. She knew this was going to kill him, still, she had to be honest with him.

"Alex, Noah and I………we kissed."

AJ just looked at her, is jaw clenching.

"I see."

"Alex, I'm sorry. It didn't mean anything. I was hurt, I was upset. I didn't mean for it to happen..." her voice trailed off.

AJ sat there in shock. He couldn't believe what she had just told him. She kissed Noah? How could she have done that?

"Please, Alex...say something. Yell at me, scream at me...something," she pleaded, trying to fight back tears.

He closed his eyes and ran his hands over his face.

"I don't know what to say. You kissed Noah. The man I despise with every bone in my body. The man you said was just a friend. How could that have happened if he was just a friend??"

"I don't know..." she whispered as a teardrop slid down her cheek.

AJ stood up and walked towards the door.

"Where are you going?" She watched after him.

He turned back to Dawn as he opened it.

"I think it's my turn to do some thinking."

"Alex, wait, please don't go..." She pleaded.

It was no use, she was cut off by the click of the door closing behind him.

A little while later D and Nick brought Arianna home from the park. She had fallen asleep in the car so Nick carried her to her room.

"I wonder how things went with J?" D asked him when he came back out.

"I don’t know. She must be in her room."

They headed to Dawn’s room to see what happened when she talked to AJ. When they got to her door they could hear crying coming from inside. Nick and D looked at each other sadly. They opened the door and found her laying on the bed sobbing.

"Dawn? What’s wrong honey?" Nick asked, sitting down next her.

She lifted her head and wiped her tears. She sat up and took deep breathes to try to stop herself
from crying. D took her hand and squeezed it.

"Tell us what happened."

"I told him that I kissed Noah."

"I’m guessing that he didn’t take it well," Nick sighed.

"No, he didn’t. He didn’t even yell at me. He got really quiet and I could see the anger in his eyes. I
told him to say something, to yell at me…but he didn’t. He just said that he didn’t understand how I
could have kissed Noah after I kept telling him that we were only friends. I don’t understand it either."

Dawn started to get upset again.

"I’m supposed to be in love with Alex and I go and kiss Noah. Why did I do that? Why??" she wailed.

"Sweetie, you were upset. You didn’t know what you were doing," D said, trying to calm her.

This couldn’t be good at all for her or the baby.

"He’s never going to talk to me again," she cried from against the pillow.

"Of course he will…don’t be silly."

Dawn looked at her and sniffed.

"I just want to be alone right now…please."

"Okay…I’ll be here if you need me. Just holler if you do," D told her, patting her arm. She nodded and buried her face in the pillow again.

"Can this get any worse?" D asked sadly when they left Dawn’s room.

"I don’t know. I don’t really want to find out."

"Me either," she sighed. "This is such a mess."

"I’m gonna go see Bone…make sure he’s alright."

"Good idea."

"I’ll see ya soon baby." He gave her a kiss and headed to AJ’s.

AJ sat on the couch completely numb. The love of his life, his best friend, the mother of his children, betrayed him. He couldn’t understand it. How could she have done something like that? She told him so many times that she and Noah were just friends. Was it a lie? Were they more than that?

His thoughts were interrupted by the doorbell. He didn’t want to answer it. He wasn’t in the mood for company. His life was falling apart at the seems. The person rang the doorbell again and pounded on the door.

"AJ!!! Open up man!! It’s Nick!!!"

AJ sighed and got up from the couch. He opened the door and let his friend in. He went into the kitchen and grabbed two beers from the fridge. He handed one to Nick and opened the other and took a huge gulp.

"I came over to see if you were alright," Nick started, taking a sip of his beer.

"Oh yeah, I’m just fucking peachy Nick. My fiance' just told me that she kissed another man…a man I can’t stand. Why did it have to Noah of all people?? Why couldn’t it have been you or something?" He scoffed, finishing off his beer.

"Because Noah is a scum sucking bastard and I’m a nice guy who’s in love with her best friend and would never do such a thing."

AJ chuckled and got another beer from the fridge.

"I don’t understand it Nick. How could she have done that?"

"She was hurting, J. She just found out you may have cheated on her and he was there."

"Why was he there?? He shouldn’t have been there Nick. D should have been there!!"

"Don’t turn this around and blame D, Bone."

He sighed and ran his hands through his hair.

"I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to say that. This is just so hard."

"I know it is. You’ll get through it."

"Will I? I don’t know Nick…so much has happened. I’ve been feeling guilty and miserable for the last few weeks. I thought this thing was all my fault. I find out that she cheated on me too. She’s been lying to me, making me out to be the bad guy, making me feel like total shit and she’s to blame too. How am I supposed to deal with that? What am I supposed to do? Just forgive her??"

Nick didn’t know what to say. He was right about all of that. Dawn was partly to blame for what’s happened.

"I don’t know what to tell you, Bone. You both fucked up big time and you’re both going to have to find a way to get past it. I know you can. You love each other too much to let this destroy you."

"I don’t know if it’s that simple Nick. All I know is that I need some time to think. To decide what the hell to do next."

"That’s understandable." Nick finished off his beer and set the empty can on the counter. "I’ll leave you alone so you can have some time to yourself. I just wanted to make sure you were okay," he said, heading towards the door. AJ followed after him.

"Thanks man," AJ said, hugging him. "Tell Dawn that I don’t hate her. I just need some time."

"I will," Nick nodded. "I’ll make sure she knows."

"Okay, thanks."

"Call if you need anything man."

AJ nodded and shut the door.

Chapter 43
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