Two weeks later things were still very strained between everyone. D and Noah barely said two words to each other, D and Dawn weren’t talking much either. Dawn was still very upset with her for calling AJ, even though she understood why she did it. She still couldn’t help feeling betrayed.

Many times they had attempted to talk about things, always getting interrupted. The tour was chaotic and Dawn felt like nothing in her life made sense anymore. She felt like her whole world has spinning out of control. Everything that was real to her, everything that she had gotten used to having in her life, was no longer there. Her life had changed so much. She felt alone and confused. Even AJ, who said he would always be there for her, seemed too busy most of the time. It seemed like the only person who was there for her anymore was Noah.

One day, after one of her shows, Dawn was relaxing in her dressing room and D walked in.

"Hey," Dawn said to her and looked away.

"Hey," she replied. "Can we talk?"

"Listen, I was worried about you. I didn’t know what else to do. You’re drinking was getting out of control. I tried to do everything I could to avoid calling him, but that night you and I got into that fight and you disappeared with Noah, I was worried, you were so drunk. I had to call him. I hope you understand."

Dawn looked down at her hands and thought for a minute.

"I understand why you did it, I guess maybe I just have a bigger issue with Alex knowing how weak I am now. I wanted to try to do this on my own. I wanted to show him that I could stand on my own two feet and not depend on him so much…" her voice trailed off as she covered her face with her hands.

D walked over to her and hugged her.

D stroked her hair as Dawn cried on her shoulder. She knew eventually she would get through to Dawn and find out what was really bothering her.

"If you don’t want to do this anymore, why don’t you just tell Noah you want off the tour and you don’t want to do this anymore.?"

"You’re probably right, that was the first time that I realized exactly how crazy this had gotten. I just wasn’t prepared for all this. Maybe touring in the states will be better. It’ll be more familiar territory, I’ll have more people I know around me.  Alex mentioned something about having Denise come out with me. Then Arianna can come, too. Plus in the states everyone won’t be so far away".

Dawn pulled from her and wiped her eyes.

"You know, you’re right. I got so wrapped up in this tour and my CD and everything else, I drifted away from what’s really important. I’m sick of talking business when I talk to Alex, I miss when we used to talk about little things, stupid things. Or when he just used to tell me what Arianna did the day before that made him laugh or what new word she said."

"Thanks D, I’m gonna go back and call him now. You coming back to the room?"

Dawn sighed.  "Oh yeah, my warden. I can’t believe I have this shadow that has to follow me around everywhere. But, you never know what can happen," she reasoned.

"Yeah," she laughed.  "So, are we okay now? Do you forgive me?" D asked.

Noah watched Dawn and D as they got Steve and headed out the door. Right before she walked out the door, Dawn turned around and waved at him. He smiled and waved back.

He was still mad about what had happened between all of them a couple weeks ago. Sure they got the best ofhim, but there were three of them, and he wasn’t expecting it. He hated AJ more than ever now and was determined to get Dawn away from him. He didn’t deserve her, that was for sure.

A few days later Dawn was relaxing in her hotel room afew hours before her show. D had gone shopping and she had the room to herself. Suddenly, there was a knock at the door. She got up to answer it, she opened the door and saw Noah standing there.

She let him in and closed the door behind him.

"I was on my way in and stopped at the front desk to see if there was anything for me and there was a letter there for you. I told them I’d bring it to you."

"Oh, that’s right. They called me yesterday to tell me they were holding something down there for me and I forgot all about it."

She looked at it, puzzled. She had no idea who it was from and she didn’t recognize the handwriting. She sat down on the couch and opened it.

All the color drained from her face as she read it. It was a letter from a girl in Louisiana that claimed to have slept with AJ on a few occasions. As recently as just a few months earlier. She put her hand up to her mouth and fought back tears. Her hands started to shake. She couldn’t believe what she was reading.

"Dawn?" Noah’s voice cut in.  "What it is? Are you okay?"

She didn’t answer him, she couldn’t. She completely tuned him out. All she could concentrate on was this letter. Her heart didn’t want to believe it, but the letter was extremely detailed. She went into great detail about the sex they had. A lot of the things Dawn knew to be true about AJ. Either they were things that he liked or fetishes that he had or just little things here and there that she recognized.

"Come here," he pulled her into his arms and stroked her hair as she sobbed. He didn’t know what to say.

"Of course I’m sure, Noah! I’ve been sleeping with him for almost three years now, I think I should know!!" she yelled at him.

She walked over to the wet bar and started to make herself a drink. As much as Noah was glad that this might be the breaking point for Dawn and AJ’s relationship, he knew she had been drinking too much.

"Dawn, no," he walked over to her and took the alcohol out of her hand. "You’ve been doing good the past couple weeks, don’t do this."

"Oh, so you're going to tell me what to do now?!"

"I’m not telling you what to do, I just care about you aznd I don’t want you to hurt yourself."

She started to cry again. Noah pulled her into his arms and held her as she cried. He walked her over to the couch and sat her down as he sat down next to her. He held her for a long time while she cried. Muffles of, "Why?" and "I can’t believe he would do something like this," escaped her mouth repeatedly.

He didn’t say much, truth was, he didn’t know what to say. He was there to listen to her and comfort her. There wasn’t much advice he could offer.

Finally, after about a half hour, Dawn pulled away from him and wiped her eyes. She had been crying so hard, she hard a hard time stopping.

"Why don’t you call and talk to him?" Noah suggested.

"No way. That’s the last thing I need at this moment."

She gave him a weak smile. "Thanks".

"Ew, no," she made a face. "I’ve been so stressed the past few days I’ve barely been able to keep anything down. I’ve been throwing up like crazy."

"Have you been to the doctor?" He asked, worried, feeling her forehead with his hand.

"Why don’t you lay down? If you want, I’ll stay here with you and you can cuddle up here on the couch. I’ll get your blanket and pillow."

He went to get her pillow and blanket then covered her upon the couch and sat down next to her. He picked up the remote control and flipped on the television, figuring he would stick around at least until she fell asleep. She placed her head in his lap and cuddled up close to him.

He looked down at her and smiled. He gently caressed her cheek.

He looked down at her as she lifted her head and slowly traced his lips with her finger. Then she slowly brought her lips to his and pulled him into a soft kiss.

Chapter 33
Back