I don’t know what he meant by that," AJ lied.
He wasn’t ready to tell Dawn he wrote the song, let alone that he wrote it for her. He didn’t want it to come out like this, he wanted to plan something special for when she heard it, he just wasn’t sure what yet.
"So how are you," he asked, looking away.
He couldn’t maintain eye contact with her, it was too hard, he didn’t want her to see just how hurt he was.
"Alex, why can’t you look at me?" She asked, inching closer to him.
He sighed and closed his eyes. Didn’t she realize how difficult this was for him?? The past three weeks he had been unable to do anything but think about her. Now she was sitting here acting like nothing had happened and he was just supposed to forget it??
‘I think not’, he thought to himself. He couldn’t believe how angry he was getting.
"I’m just not in the mood today," he said coldly.
"In the mood for what?" She asked, getting irritated. "All I want is for you to talk to me".
"Yeah, well, now you know how I feel,” he shot back.
"I knew this was a bad idea,” Dawn said as she turned and walked out of the room, letting the door slam behind her.
AJ turned, wanting to go after her, but she was gone.
"McLean, you’re such a fucking asshole!!!!" He yelled at himself as he threw the bottle of juice he had in his hand against the wall, watching it shatter into little pieces and juice splashing everywhere.
"What the hell is wrong with me?" he said to himself as he sat down and buried his face in his hands. Kevin came running in the room.
"What’s going on in here?" He asked.
"Nothing,” AJ replied.
"I find that hard to believe considering the way Dawn looked as she ran past me just a minute ago".
"She didn’t leave, did she?" AJ asked, looking up at Kevin.
"No, not yet,” he sat down next to AJ. “Why don’t you guys sit down and talk, that’s what you both need. There’s so much you guys need to get out in the open".
"I try to talk to her, I’ve told her how I feel about her, about the baby, about everything, but she just shuts me out. There’s nothing more I can do," AJ’s voice trailed off.
"Tell me something", he began. "How much do you love that girl"?
AJ rolled his eyes.
"That’s old news, I’ve already told her how I feel".
"Tell ME how you feel about her", Kevin prodded.
AJ sighed and thought for a minute. He couldn’t quite find the right words. He just opened his mouth and spoke.
"I’ve never felt this way about anyone in my life. I know I’m young, but I’ve been in relationships before and I know how I feel. Since she left, I haven’t been able to think about anything else but her. I’ve been miserable. I feel like she ripped my heart out of my chest and stomped it into a million tiny little pieces, and I don’t even think she cares. That’s what pisses me off the most. If she loves me, why is she acting like this and why is she pushing me away??" He stammered as tears started to form in his eyes.
"She’s scared, she’s been through a lot,” Kevin began. "She doesn’t mean to hurt you. In her mind, she thinks that she’s doing you a favor by pushing you away. I know she loves you, but I also know that she thinks you’re better off without her, because of the baby and all."
"I want that baby,” AJ whispered, "but she thinks eventually I’ll resent it because it’s not mine and she knows how much I hate Anthony".
"The best thing you can do," Kevin said in a low voice, "is just be there for her. Right now she’s going through a lot of things. The pregnancy, Anthony trying to get back into her life, her career that she’s trying to get off the ground, everything. She misses you, I know she does, she told me herself. Remember, before you became lovers, you were friends, very good friends, and right now, that’s what she needs more than anything."
AJ got up from his chair and headed towards the door.
"I have to go find her," he said as he opened the door. Just as he opened it, the guys started piling in.
"Back to work!" Brian yelled.
Dawn was the last one in the room. She wouldn’t even look at AJ.
‘Damn it,’ he said to himself. ‘I guess this is gonna have to wait until later’.
"We need to rehearse the vocals for the acoustic appearance we have coming up in a couple weeks," Kevin shouted. "So we’re gonna take a break from recording for awhile and work on that”.
‘Good, that means I get to leave,’ Dawn thought to herself.
“We will need all three backup singers present and ready to work,” he glanced at Dawn, she rolled her eyes and looked away. She was so pissed off at AJ, she could barely think straight.
“Why do we need to be here if you guys are rehearsing for an acoustic show?” Dawn asked.
“Because,” Kevin started. “We like to see your bright, shining faces”.
He smiled at her and Dawn wanted to slap the smile right off his face. She knew exactly what he was doing, and she didn’t like it one bit. There was no logical reason for her to be there today and they both knew it.
“You will be present for the acoustic show, all three of you. Acoustic or not, we’re still using background vocals. That’s why we need you here today,” he looked over at Dawn again, her eyes burned a hole right through him.
"Alright everyone, here are the words for some of the songs that you guys may not know,” Kevin said as he passed out the papers to the three backup singers. The first song on the list was, ‘If you knew what I knew’. Dawn knew it was a song that AJ had written not too long ago. The next one was, ‘Like a Child’, then AJ’s solo, ‘Lay Down Beside Me’.
‘What the hell do we need to be involved in a solo for?’ Dawn said to herself.
She was getting extremely irritated, she knew what Kevin was trying to do. She wished he would just butt out of her and AJ’s relationship.
"These are the first three songs we’ll be rehearsing today, so try to learn them soon,” Kevin said to them. He then glanced over at Dawn, "real soon". Dawn glared back at him.
"Break for lunch, when we come back, be ready to work", he commanded.
Everyone started to leave.
"Dawn and AJ, come here a minute,” he asked.
They both walked slowly over to Kevin.
"I’m warning you guys now, you better get over whatever it is that’s going on between you, and you better do it quick because if you don’t, today is going to be awfully uncomfortable for you both".
Dawn rolled her eyes, picked up her purse and headed towards the door. As she was almost outside, AJ came running up behind her.
"Hey," he said, grabbing her arm.
"What do you want, AJ, I have someplace I have to be," she said coldly, looking out the window.
"I just wanted to tell you that I was sorry for the way I acted earlier,” he began.
"I don’t care anymore, I can’t deal with this right now, I have too much going on in my life,” she said, still looking out the window. "I have to go", she said as she turned and walked out the door, leaving AJ staring after her.
AJ looked out the window and saw Dawn walk over to a car that had just pulled in. He didn’t want to be nosy, but he couldn’t help it, he had to know why Dawn was in such a hurry.
He couldn’t believe his eyes when he saw Anthony get out of the drivers’ side of the car, walk around to where Dawn was, hand her a red rose and give her a kiss on the lips. He then opened her car door and let her in. As he shut the door, he looked over to the window AJ was looking out of and waved at him.
"I’m gonna fucking kill him,” AJ said aloud as he started to open the door.


Chapter 29
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