AJ finally convinced Dawn to go into the house and talk to him. He told Kevin and Brian to go ahead and leave, then he went in the house. When he got there, Dawn was on the couch, fast asleep. He got a blanket and covered her up. He sat down next to her and watched her sleep. He gently wiped her hair from her eyes. He felt so helpless.
“I wish I could make everything better,” he whispered to her. “I wish there was something I could do”.
He buried his face in his hands and thought for awhile.
‘Am I ready to be a father? Especially since the baby isn’t even mine?
He looked over at Dawn again. Surprisingly, he didn’t care that the baby wasn’t his, as much as he wished it was, he loved Dawn and the baby was a part of her. He wanted to be a part of their life. The only thing that worried him was his being on the road all the time. Would it be fair to Dawn or the baby?
‘I’m jumping a little too far ahead’, he told himself. ‘I don’t even know if she’s gonna keep it’.
He got up, then turned to look at her again.
‘I know she will, though’.
A couple hours later, Dawn woke up. She looked around trying to figure out where she was. “Alex?” She called. He came running into the room.
“Did you have a nice nap sleepyhead?” He asked sitting down next to her.
“Please tell me it was all just a bad dream”, she said as she covered her face with her hands.
“I wish I could”.
Tears started to well up in her eyes again.
“What am I gonna do?” She said, fighting back tears.
“Come here,” he said as he put his arm around her, she lay her head on his shoulder.
“Calm down. Getting upset isn’t gonna solve anything and it isn’t good for the baby”.
She stopped crying and looked up at him.
“I don’t even know if I want to keep it,” she said coldly. He was surprised by the tone of her voice.
“Well, no matter what you decide, I’m behind you one hundred percent”.
“Alex, there is no room in your life for a baby right now, there’s no reason for your life to be ruined because of me,” she said, looking him in the eye.
“You are not ruining my life,” he said. “You’re the best thing in my life. When I’m with you, nothing else matters, not the fame, not money, not anything.”
“But it won’t be just me”, she cut him off. “If I do decide to keep this baby and stay with you, every time you look at it, you’ll see Anthony”.
He cupped her face in his hands. “No, every time I look at that baby, I will see you. It doesn’t matter to me that I’m not the biological father. I want to be there, I want to help raise it. I love you and I will love the baby, too”.
Dawn looked away from him, she couldn’t let him do this. She couldn’t let him give up everything for her. He had so much going for him, he was so young. She loved him with all her heart, but a baby just didn’t fit into his life right now, and sooner or later, he would realize that.
“It’s too soon for you to be making a decision like that. It will affect the rest of your life. You have to think about that”.
“I have thought about it. It’s all I’ve been thinking about this whole time you were sleeping. Don’t act like I can’t make my own decisions, I’m a big boy”.
“Alex, I just need to think about things, by myself, for awhile,” she said as she got up and turned her back to him. “And I can’t do it here”.
“What do you mean? You’re leaving? Where are you going to go?” He asked, getting upset.
“I’m going to see if I can stay with my mother for a week or so, then look for my own place,” she said matter-of-factly, looking out the window.
AJ came up behind her and tried to pull her to him, but she resisted.
“Baby, please don’t do this,” he said softly in her ear.
“I’m sorry, but I need time to think. I have to figure out what I’m going to do”.
“You can do that here,” he tried to convince her.
“No, I can’t,” she said hurriedly. “I’ll be leaving tonight”.
With that, she walked way from him and headed to the bedroom to start packing.
AJ didn’t know what to say or do, the love of his life was walking out of his life and there was nothing that he could do about it. He felt so helpless. It didn’t seem to matter what he told her, she had her mind made up, he knew her well enough to know that he wouldn’t be able to change it.
As much as it hurt, the only thing he could do was support her and be understanding. If that meant that she needed to spend time away from him, then he didn’t have much of a choice. If he tried to convince her otherwise, he may lose her forever.
A little while later, AJ was sitting on the couch smoking a cigarette when Dawn walked out with her suitcase. She placed it by the front door and walked into the living room. She looked at AJ and felt like crying. She could see the pain she was causing him and it broke her heart.
“I called my mother. She said it was okay for me to stay there for awhile”.
“How long are you gonna be there?” He asked, walking towards her with his hands in his pockets.
“I don’t know, not long, a week, maybe two. Depends on how long it takes me to find my own place”.
“You know I’m always here for you, right?” He said pulling her into his arms. Dawn felt tears start to burn her cheeks.
“I know, you’re wonderful. Thank you for everything”, she whispered in his ear. He placed his lips on hers. He didn’t want to let her go, but he knew that he had to. He saw the tears start to fall from her eyes. He continued to hold her.
“I love you so much,” he said softly. He felt tears start to form in his own eyes.
“I have to go,” she said, pulling away from him, wiping away her tears.
AJ felt like his heart was being ripped out of his chest.
“I’ll call you,” she said as she picked up her belongings. She grabbed her keys from the counter and put her sunglasses on. She looked at him one last time, turned and walked out the door.
AJ stood there watching her get in her car, he couldn’t believe he was letting her walk out of his life. He watched her pull out of the driveway and disappear around the corner. The feelings that he was experiencing at that moment were the worst he had ever encountered. He couldn’t hold it in any longer, truth was, he didn’t want to, he just wanted her back in his arms.
He sat down in the doorway, buried his face in his hands and cried.


Chapter 27
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