On their way back from Kevin’s house that night, AJ was very quiet. He had barely said a word to Dawn the entire way back to his house.
"Is something wrong?" Dawn asked him.
"What would make you ask that," he replied coldly.
"Well, you’ve barely said a word to me since we left Kevin’s,” Dawn paused for a minute. "As a matter of fact, you’ve been quiet the past couple of hours,” she finished. "Are you gonna tell me why?"
"When were you planning on telling me that you were going back to Anthony,” he snapped at her.
There was an uncomfortable silence. Dawn didn’t know what to say. She wasn’t prepared for this conversation and she couldn’t believe Kevin told AJ what she had told him.
"I haven’t made any definite decisions yet,” she replied as she looked down at her hands.
"You didn’t even tell me that you ran into him today!" He started to raise his voice. Dawn started to get mad.
"Why are you acting like this?? And you wonder why I didn’t tell you?" She yelled back at him.
They pulled into AJ’s driveway and Dawn got out of the car. She slammed the car door shut and walked past him to the front door. AJ just stood there. This is definitely not the way he wanted this to go. He leaned up against the car and put his head in his hands.
"Why do I always fuck everything up?" He asked himself. "Why can’t I just be honest and tell her how I feel about her?"
He let Dawn in the house and she marched to the bedroom without saying another word to him. He threw his keys on the table and went downstairs to play pool. He needed to clear his head. He didn’t know what he was gonna do next, what he should say. He just felt that no matter what he said, he couldn’t win.
He started to shoot pool, but couldn’t keep his mind on it. All he could think about was Dawn. He wanted to tell her everything. He wanted to tell her that he didn’t want her to go back to Anthony, that he wanted her to stay with him. He wanted to tell her that he loved her, but he just couldn’t. He couldn’t risk losing her. Their friendship meant more to him than she knew.
Dawn started putting some of her clothes in her suitcase. She couldn’t believe AJ was acting like this.
"What has gotten into him?" She said aloud. "He’s supposed to be my friend, he’s SUPPOSED to be supportive,” she said as she kept putting clothes in the suitcase.
"Why am I letting this bother me?" She asked herself as she stopped what she was doing and sat on the bed. "Why does it matter so much to me what he says or thinks?"
Tears started to well up in her eyes. Just then, she was struck with a sudden thought.
"Oh my god,” she said out loud. "I’m falling for him. Why else would I let this get to me?”
She sat and thought for a minute, still shocked at her new revelation.
"What the hell has gotten into you,” she said to herself as she stood up and continued packing. "Why can’t you just be happy with the fact that you guys are friends? What makes you think he has any feelings for you other than as a friend?”
She stood there for moment, looking around the room for anything she may have missed.
“The hell with this, I can’t do this to myself any longer,” she said as she got off the bed and headed for the door. " I’m just gonna go down there and lay it all on the line. This is probably the stupidest thing I’ve ever done, but I need to know if he feels anything for me before I make any decisions".
She went to look for AJ and found him in the basement shooting pool. When got to the bottom of the stairs, he looked up at her then turned his attention back to his game. She lost all her nerve, she couldn’t tell him how she felt, he would laugh at her.
"I’m packing my stuff now, I’ll leave tomorrow, unless you want me out tonight,” she said to him, awaiting his reaction.
He stopped what he was doing and put his pool stick down. He couldn’t let this go, he had to do something. He couldn’t let her leave like this or think he didn’t care. He just couldn’t think of the appropriate thing to say. She turned and headed back up the stairs.
"I don’t want you to go,” he said softly.
Dawn closed her eyes and breathed a sigh of relief.
‘Thank god,’ she said to herself.
She turned back around to face him. She started to walk towards him, stopping just a few feet in front of him.
"Tell me something,” she began. "Do you have feelings for me?"
AJ just stood there looking at her, he couldn’t get any words out. He was surprised she asked that. Dawn waited for an answer.
"Well, I guess that’s my answer. I feel stupid for even asking”. She turned and started to walk away.
“Dawn, wait,” he said softly. She turned around and looked at him with her arms folded.
They just stood there looking at each other. Dawn was waiting for him to say something while AJ was searching for the right words. This was the moment he had thought about a million times in the last few months. He didn’t want to mess it up.
“That’s so typical,” Dawn finally said, getting irritated by his silence and started up the stairs again.
"What are you talking about?” AJ said.
Dawn turned back around to face him.
"I’m talking about YOU. Why can’t you just be honest with me and tell me what you’re feeling??!!" she yelled at him. “All I want to know is if you have feelings for me!! Is it that hard to answer??”
"Me??" he yelled back. "What about YOU?? You sure don’t volunteer any information! Now you’re running away and going back to Anthony!"
"Forget it, I’m sick of this. I don’t want to argue with you,” she said as she turned and headed up the stairs again.
"See", he threw at her. "There you go, running away, again".
"I am not running away", she responded looking back at him. "This conversation is just going nowhere”.
AJ tried to think of something to say to keep her from walking away. He opened his mouth and just let the words come out.
"I love you," he choked out.
Dawn stopped in her tracks, she couldn’t believe what she had just heard. She turned and looked at him with tears in her eyes. He was just standing there waiting for her to do or say something.
She walked up to him, not saying a word, their eyes locked. Then she grabbed him and pulled him into a passionate kiss.
This time, he didn’t pull away.


Chapter 20
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