As their kisses grew more intense and passionate, AJ knew he should pull away from Dawn, he knew this was wrong, but he couldn’t stop himself. He had been wanting this for so long. He never knew that something could feel so right yet so wrong at the same time. He began to kiss her neck as she moaned softly.
They both sat up and she lifted off his shirt, lightly kissing his chest. She gently sucked on his nipples, driving him crazy. He kissed her neck as he lifted off her shirt, then his conscious got the best of him.
"Wait..we can’t do this,” he said as he got up and put his shirt back on. He sat on the edge of the bed with his face in his hands.
"What’s wrong?" Dawn questioned while covering herself up with the blanket.
"You’re not ready for this,” he responded then got up and walked out of the room.
Dawn sat there shocked.
"What’s was that all about"? She asked herself. "What’s wrong with me?"
She got up off the bed and put her shirt back on then walked out of the room to look for AJ.
She called his name and there was no answer. She looked out the back door and spotted him sitting on the patio smoking a cigarette. She opened the sliding glass door and walked out and sat down next to him. She reached over and took one of his cigarettes out of his pack, lit it and inhaled deeply.
"I’m sorry,” he started. "I just think we were about to make a big mistake".
"Gee, I didn’t think it would be THAT bad," Dawn replied, insulted.
"No, that’s not what I meant,” he started. "I just meant that..oh hell, I don’t know what I meant".
She was silent for a moment then he looked over at her, she looked pretty upset and he knew that she was taking this the wrong way.
He put his cigarette out and turned to her.
"Listen to me", he started. She looked away from him and he lifted her chin with his finger.
"You have no idea how hard it was for me to walk away from that. There is nothing I want more than..” his voice trailed off. Dawn’s eyes searched his face for an explanation. He didn’t know if he should continue with what he was saying, but he did. He had to.
“There’s nothing I want more than to make love to you..I’ll be honest, I’ve wanted it for a long time".
Dawn looked at him, surprised. He chuckled when he saw the look on her face. Even he couldn’t believe he had just said that.
"I just think that right now would be a really bad time for it to happen. You’re vulnerable right now and mad at Anthony. I don’t want you using me to get back at him. If it’s going to happen between us, I want it to be when we’re in the right frame of mind and it means something..to both of us,” he finished. "I don’t want it to ruin our friendship..it means too much to me,” he added.
Dawn just stared at him, dumbfounded. She didn’t know what to say. Tears started to well up in her eyes, but she blinked them back. She felt like such an idiot. She stood up and flicked her cigarette out into the grass.
"I’m sorry I threw myself at you. I’m so embarrassed,” she buried her face in her hands as she turned away from him.
AJ got up and walked over to where she was standing. He went up behind her, put his arms around her waist and rested his head on her shoulder.
"You didn’t throw yourself at me,” he said softly in her ear. "You just opened the door, and I walked through it..without thinking".
She turned around to face him, he still had his arms around her waist.
"Maybe someday we can walk through that door together,” he finished.
"McLean, you are unreal, do you know that?" She smiled as she wrapped her arms around his neck.
"Yeah, and incredibly stupid," he added as they both laughed.
Silence fell over both of them as they stood there in each other's arms.
"Wow, look at that sunrise,” Dawn whispered, looking up at the sky.
"Let's sit and watch it," he said as they sat down on a lounge chair. He pulled Dawn back against his chest.
"It is beautiful,” AJ said, stroking her hair.
They sat and watched the sunrise for a little while, then went into the house and lay down on the bed. AJ held Dawn in his arms and watched her fall asleep.
"I love you,” he whispered in her ear as he drifted off to sleep.


Chapter 14
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