Cassidy woke up and looked over at AJ sleeping next to her. He had his arm tightly wrapped around her.
She watched him sleep, hoping that what had happened in the pool was all a bad dream. She looked over at her wet bathing suit on the floor and knew it wasn’t. She turned back to him and continued to watch him. She brought her hand to his face then gently caressed his cheek.
“I wish I knew what to do. I wish I could trust that you would be there for me.” she whispered then glanced over at the clock.
“Shit, there’s no way I’m gonna catch my plane!! Damn it, I have to call Alissa.”
She quietly got up from the bed and went into the kitchen to find the phone. She didn’t want to wake AJ. She dialed her sister’s cell phone, praying she answered.
“Hello?” she finally answered after five rings.
“Hey, it’s Cass.”
“Hey girl! We were just about leave to go run some errands. What’s wrong?”
She could tell by the tone in her sister’s voice that something was wrong. “Listen, please don’t drill me about it right now, but I won’t be home tonight.”
“Why not?”
“Something came up, I don’t really have time to explain, but I promise I will later.”
“Let me guess, this isn’t a business thing now, is it?”
“Umm, no, but it is important. I’m really sorry, I can’t go into detail right now, but don’t worry, I’m fine.”
“When are you coming home then?”
“I’m not sure...tomorrow probably. I’ll call you later and let you know.”
“Okay, please be careful.”
'Too late for that', she thought to herself.
“Let me talk to Kyle real quick.”
“Alright, hold on.” She handed the phone to the little boy.
“Hi Mommy!” he said when he got on the phone.
“Hi sweetheart, are you being a good boy?”
“Yes, you get me Mickey Mouse shirt?”
“Yes, I did.”
“And Mickey Mouse toy?”
“Yes,” she laughed.
“When you coming home, Mommy?”
“I’ll be home in a couple days. Okay?”
“Okay.”
“You be a good boy for Auntie Liss, Okay? I miss you.”
“I miss you, too,” he repeated.
“I love you.”
“I love you, too, Mommy. Bye!”
She hung up the phone then tiptoed back into the bedroom where AJ was sleeping. She sat down in a chair across the room and watched him sleep. She saw his cigarettes lying on a table next to the bed then walked over and picked them up, taking one out and lighting it. She slowly puffed on it as she walked over to the window and stared absentmindedly outside. She was so deep in thought she didn’t hear AJ get up and come up behind her.
“That stuff’ll kill you, ya know,” he said softly as he stood behind her, so close she could feel his breath on her skin. She practically jumped through the ceiling.
“Alex! You scared the hell out of me!”
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to..”
She turned her back to him, focusing her attention back to the view of the lake behind his house.
“The water’s so calm,” she said softly, staring out at it, as if to find within it’s depth, the answer to all her problems.
He wrapped his arms around her waist and rested his head against hers. He felt her tense up slightly.
“Cassidy, please don’t pull away from me.”
“I’m not..at least, I don’t mean to.”
“You are, I can feel it. You’re not alone in this, ya know.”
She closed her eyes and sighed. He didn’t understand what she was going through, and she didn’t know how to make him understand.
“Don’t shut down on me now,” he pleaded softly in her ear.
“Alex, you just don’t understand..”
Tears started to well up in her eyes again. She tried to fight them, she didn’t want to cry anymore. She was drained, emotionally exhausted.
AJ sighed, he was getting irritated with her. She was acting like she was the only one who was affected by this. She was acting like he didn’t care. He pulled away from her and grabbed his cigarettes and quickly lit one.
“Cassidy, you’re acting like I don’t care, like I’m gonna walk away from you..”
She spun around to face him.
“Alex, I’ve heard all this before! Everything that’s coming out of your mouth is nothing new to me! We barely know each other! Do you know how easy it would be for you to just turn your back and walk away from this??”
“God Cassidy, I wish you’d give me more credit than that,” he ran his hands over his face.
The room fell silent. Neither of them knew what to say. Cassidy turned back around and looked out the window, bringing her cigarette back up to her lips.
“I’m going to try to get a flight back home tonight,” she said, as she exhaled. She didn’t turn around, she couldn’t bear to see his face. He walked towards her. “Cass, please, don’t leave. We have to work through this.”
“No Alex, I have to work through this..on my own. I need to think and I need to get away from you to do it.”
Her words cut right through him. Right to his very soul. She had no idea how much what she had just said hurt him. He just stood there, staring at her in shock. He didn’t know what to do, he didn’t want her to leave, but he knew he had no choice, nothing he said was going to make her stay.
“Cassidy, I lov..”
“Alex, please, don’t,” she cut him off.
He stared at her blankly, he felt a twinge of fear and panic wash over his body.
“Cass, please don’t leave me alone,” he pleaded, hoping he didn’t sound desperate.
“I think we both need to be alone for awhile,” she said coldly as she put her cigarette out in a nearby ashtray.
“Cassidy, will you please turn around and look at me? I hate it when you won’t look at me when you’re talking to me.”
She sighed and turned to face him. Their eyes met, Cassidy could see the pain in his eyes. She knew this was hurting him, but it was hurting her, too. He would get over it sooner or later. He met millions of people every day, he would fall in love with someone else eventually.
Neither of them said a word, they just stood there staring into each other’s eyes.
AJ knew he was taking a risk, but he had to do something, he had to touch her, hold her, comfort her. He walked over to her and stood right in front of her, their eyes still locked. Suddenly tears started falling down Cassidy’s cheeks, she couldn’t hold it in any longer. AJ brought his hand to her face and gently wiped a teardrop away with his finger. He cupped her face in his hands and looked into her eyes.
“Please don’t push me away,” his words caught in his throat.
She closed her eyes and tried to stop her tears from falling, but couldn’t. He tenderly pulled her into his arms and held her tight. She began to sob as he tried to comfort her.
After a minute, she calmed down a little and looked up at him. Tears were still rolling down her face. AJ lowered his head and placed the sweetest of kisses on her lips. Just a gentle meshing of lips, like two innocent school children.
His hand tenderly rested on her face as he tucked her hair behind her ear. He was amazed at the sensations that were flowing through him from just a simple kiss. Not even an erotic kiss, or a passionate kiss, just a gentle, sincere, emotion-filled kiss.
Suddenly, he felt her tongue slowly enter his mouth, ever so gently. He ran his fingers through her long hair. Their tongues were now slowly darting in and out of each other’s mouths. Barely touching, brushing was more like it. AJ had never felt anything so delicate, so wonderful, so pure. He put everything he had into that one long kiss.
Cassidy ran her hands down his chest, stopping at the waste band of his pants, then up his back. He shuddered at her gentle touch as he felt his excitement growing. He wanted this moment to last forever, he wanted to make love to her. Something in his subconscious told him what was coming next, but he didn’t want to listen.
“I love you, Cass,” he gasped as he began to bring his lips to her neck, “please let me show you how much.”
She pulled away from him slightly as he held onto her, he couldn’t bring himself to let her go. Their heads still together as they simply enjoyed being in each other’s arms, seemingly, for the last time.
“I have to go, Alex,” she whispered, trying to be as strong as she could.
“Cassidy, please don’t do this,” he begged as a teardrop slid down his face. “Please.”
She pulled away from him and his arms fell limp at his side. He looked at her, his eyes pleading, his face just as tear ravaged as hers.
She slowly ran her hand through his hair and smiled at him. He closed his eyes and enjoyed the feel of her hands on him. She gently ran her fingers over his lips and he opened his eyes, meeting her gaze.
His hand reached up and took a few strands of her hair, running it between his fingers. He then brought his fingers to her lips where she softly kissed his fingertips. He tenderly caressed her cheek as she nestled her face in his hand. She took his hand in hers then leaned closer to him, placing a tender kiss on his lips.
“Good bye, Alex.”
She pulled away from him, picked up her bag and walked out of the room.
AJ just stood in the center of the room, completely dumbfounded and heart broken, all alone.


Chapter 20
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