Garet
K711: Hello, friends and welcome to GS Roundtable, where I bribe/enslave Golden Sun characters so YOUR questions can be answered.
Garet: How much money are you giving me to do this?
K711: We'll hammer it out later.
Garet: I like money.
K711: I bet. So. Lets get to business. Tell me-- How do you use psynergy? Do you think hard, or say a magic chant, or what?
Garet: ..... the thing you got to know is, there are four elements, and sometimes there's a lighthouse.
K711: What would you say if I said the previous comment sealed the rumor that you are what they call the "stupid" one.
Garet: What, you mean like the "stupid" they used in the '80s?
K711: It's not a compliment.
Garet: Well, I'd respond by saying, that you're probably right. I am an idiot.
K711: Did you realize you just dissed yourself?
Garet: Well, Isaac told me to say that.
K711: He what?
Garet: Isaac tells me what to do all the time. He sorta won't let me do anything by myself.
K711: And you tolerate this?!
Garet: Well, what else CAN I do?
K711: Give him an old-fashioned beat-down! You have more HP than him, and you could SO kick the crap out of him!
Garet: I can't do that, he's my best friend!
K711: Listen, you. No friend tells the other what to do and say at all times. This guy Isaac... he's not your friend.
Garet: But he has better Psynergy, and more Psynergy Points...
K711: At least you're not the one in the cage!
Garet: *laughs* Or the one fainting from massive blood loss!
K711: *laughs* Oh, you should see his face when you gore him with the tacks! Priceless! Isaac: AAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUGHH!!!!!
Garet: *runs onstage* Oh my Good Lord, you were right!
K711: Have I ever NOT been right?
Garet: Well, there's that time--
K711: Dont answer that. Garet: I won't.
K711: Good. Garet, I dont know whats happening, but I think we can have a great friendship. Take away the magic, the swords, the quests, the insane hair... and you and I are the same guy.
Garet: HA! You called yourself stupid!
Both: Not the '80s way! *burst out laughing.*
K711: *struggles to stop laughing* Oh, soo... that concludes this episode of GS Roundtable! Any questions you'd like to ask a GS character? Email me at [email protected]
Garet: So, uh, what about the money?
K711: Would you agree to 15 pokes at Isaac with the brass tacks?
Garet: DEAL!

Piers
K711: By now you all know me, nd my show, GS Roundtable. Today we have with us fellow water adept Piers, all-around cool guy.
Piers: Like my blue hair?
K711: It's a really, really nice touch. Although the ponytail could go. The effect loses something from it.
Piers: You think so?
K711: Yeah... Yes I do.
Piers: Wait, since when were you a water adept?
K711: Say what?
Piers: You called me a fellow water adept. You're not an adept!
K711: You're a girly man.
Piers: Touche.... Whoa... that's like...The ultimate comeback... I like how it breaks the oppenents argument into dust in any situation. Mind if I use it in my own arguments?
K711: I'd be insulted if you didn't.
Piers: Sweeeeet... A new installment to my arsenal.
K711: An arsenal of premade comebacks?
Piers: What?
K711: Nothing, nothing....
Piers: WHAT?! TELL ME!
K711: Its nothing. Ok, we have our first ever (used) write-in question!!!YAY!!!! Piers: You're a girly man.
K711: Piers, I haven't even read the question.
Piers: I have a feeling that'll be my answer.
K711: No kidding. ISAAC17 writes: " I would like to see an interview with Piers, and I want to ask how old he is! LOL."
Piers: Y'know what, Isaac17? YOU'RE A GIRLY MAN!
K711: Who coulda seen that coming.
Piers: YOU HEAR ME??? GIRLY MAN!!! MWA HAHAHAHA!!!!!
K711: Yeah....
Piers: MWA HAHAHAHAHA!!!!
K711: Answer the question, idiot!
Piers: Whoa... that's like... the ultimate comeback...
K711: To save time, yes, you can put it in your arsenal. ANSWER NOW!
Piers: Well, you gotta understand that... like what a human might call a five year old, in Lemuria, theyre like 400 years old.
K711: Eww... oldness. Do they have liver spots or other gross crap?
Piers: No, they're five-year-olds!
K711: What happened to the 400-year-old people then?
Piers: They're the same people!!!
K711: I don't get it.
Piers: Uggh...
K711: You know, we're not hitting an instant rapport like I thought we would. Weird.
Piers: You're so hard to deal with!
K711: Funny, coming from COMEBACK-ARSENAL boy!
Piers: You wanna take this outside?
K711: Oh no, inside's fine.
Piers: You want some of my ice? You think you can handle it?
K711: I eat pathetic ice like yours for breakfast.
Piers: Than you must have really sucky breakfasts.
K711: As a matter of fact I do! Now EAT CAGE! *K711 slams a cage down on Piers* How do you like it now, Piersy? Back in a cage, huh?
Piers: I don't see what putting me in a cage accomplishes.
K711: What doesn't it accomplish?
Piers: You're a girly man.
K711: *K711 pushes Piers' cage next to Isaac's* You'll notice Isaac is bleeding heavily and is near death. Wanna know why?
Piers: Uh... Is there any answer I can give that won't result with you doing the same to me?
K711: Nope. Now say hello to my good friends The BRASS TACKS!
Piers: NOOOO!!!!
K711: Well, a Golden Sun character is being impaled with tacks, so that means another edition of GS Roundtable is wrapped up. Any questions you want to ask a Golden Sun character? Email me at [email protected] Peace out!
Piers: GOOD LORD NOOOO!!!!! IT HURTS SO BAD!!!! NO!!!! NOT MY EYEBALL!!!!! ANYTHING BUT THAT!!!!

Mia
K711: Hello Folks and welcome back to yet another GS Roundtable! Today we the have spectacularly hot water Adept, Mia.
Mia: Wait, WHAT DID YOU SAY?
K711: I said, "Today we have the water adept Mia."
Mia: Thats all?
K711: Of course.
Mia: Right...
K711: So how's life?
Mia: Can't complain. I'm livin'.
K711: I can see that.
Mia: I bet.
K711: Now, let's get down to business. What do you say to people saying that you are the "healer of the group and have no good attacks"?
Mia: I say, those people are morons. I'd like to see them have better attacks! Yes! I can heal! But... uggh... sorry, touchy subject. Lets just get off of it.
K711: Gladly. Anyhoo, reader ladyusul asks "Mia, were you and Alex a couple at one point? And, are you still angry at Garet? LOL."
Mia: Number One: I feel Alex was attracted to me at many points, and later on, he came on to me almost every day. He's not really my type, and he didn't like having an unrequited love like that, so later he realized it wasn't accomplishing anything so he gave up.
K711: What a loser.
Mia: Now, if someone barged in with a question abut YOUR love life, ladyusul, right after someone you truly thought you loved turns out to be going for some frikkin idiot named Jenna, HOW WOULD YOU FEEL!?!?
K711: Whoa there, tone it down, these people are easily offended.
Mia: HE WAS A LIAR AND HE NEVER LOVED ME!!! HE CAUSED MORE PAIN THAN ANY BOSS EVER COULD! It's gonna take a lot more than an apology to make me want to even get near him.
K711: Zing!
Mia: And now, Im no longer livin' and lovin', just livin'. And it sucks.
*Mia breaks down into sobs*
K711: Hey, if need be, I'm always here.
Mia: Huh?
K711: I'm ready willing and able. *wink wink nudge nudge*
Mia: Um, that was weird.
K711: You know you're indescribably attractive.
Mia: I'm gonna ride this just for some compliments.
K711: Tell you what. You're kinda in a transitional phase, so life must be pretty tough for you. How about we have dinner tonight, and head over to my place and talk things over?
Mia: Well... I guess. I don't have much to lose.
K711: Wanna know what's fun?
Mia: What?
K711: I have Isaac and Piers dying in cages, and I occasionally poke them with brass tacks. Wanna give it a go?
Mia: Ok, I guess. K711: They're over there.
*Mia Leaves*

Geez! AM I lucky or what? SCORE!! Boo-ya! It's gonna be a fun night! Heh heh heh... That couldnt have worked better! It's only a matter of time before muchas smooches!! And then, a little it longer and... well, I don't think I can say it here.... ;) So, that wraps it up! See you next time on GS roundtable! Tonight is going to be like an Arena Football Game.... a whole lotta scoring. Oh yeah, if you have a question you would like to ask to a character, email me at [email protected].
Back to top

Felix
K711: Hi. No need for an intro, as you all know me. Today we have Felix joining us, Earth adept, villian of Golden Sun, Hero of Golden Sun 2, and love interset of Pilika from the Zelda Forums.
Felix: You've been telling me that all DAY! Who the crap is Pilika!?!
K711: You'll find out when the time is right.
Felix: Is she just some person on a forum?
K711: The time has come. She's a person on a forum.
Felix: Eh.
K711: So, down to business. You once wore a mask in Golden Sun, tell us about that.
Felix: Ugh. It was wooden and ugly, and uncomfortable, and kinda hurt my eyes. You know, the fumes. From the paint.
K711: Whoa, sucks for you.
Felix: Yeah, but for some reason, those fumes made me feel weird... like I could never stop smiling.
K711: Ok, we're getting off the subject of paint-drinking.
Felix: *moan*
K711: Anyhoo, what's the deal with Jenna?
Felix: Well, she's my sister, and..
K711: No, no.. I mean... is she taken?
Felix: YOU SAY WHAT NOW? I thought you were with Mia!
K711 *chuckles* Yeah, if you played by "olde tyme" rules, we'd probably have to be married to save any shreds of respect for our families *chuckles* good, good, times.
Felix: Too much information...
K711: I mean, when you look at it,
Felix: MORE THAN I WANTED TO KNOW!!!!!
K711: Ok, I'll shut up.
Felix: Thank God.
K711: So uh, we'll get off the subject.
Felix: Yeah, huh. Good.
K711: By the bye, do you like Sheba? I mean, you were all protective of her, and jumped off a lighthouse for her...
Felix: Well, I did that becuase I don't want anyone to die, you know? I want to restore Alchemy to save people. I mean, she's three years younger than me with stupid hair and I'm not sure if she's human. I mean, how many people fall from the sky as a baby?
K711: OH! MAYBE SHE'S SUPERMAN'S DAUGHTER!!! OR!! OR!!! HIS SISTER!
Felix: Uhhhh....no.
K711: NO!!! DONT YOU SEE? IT'S PERFECT! WHY ELSE WoULD SHE HAVE MAGIC POWERS?! It's the Earth's yellow sun, I tell ya!
Felix: She's not related to Superman!
K711: YES!! SHE IS!!! IT'S THE PERFECT CRIME!
Felix: What's a crime?
K711: It's when you do something thats against the law, but that's not important right now. I need to prepare for capturing the Kryptonian and dissecting her for REASONS UNKNOWN!
Felix: Ok, do you have a write in question or what?
K711: As a matter of fact, I do. Linkmaster48 writes "Felix looks HUGE compared to Jenna or Sheba! (which, need I remind you is SUPERMAN'S SISTER!) He is so tall! I mean, what doe he EAT?"
Felix: Well, I'll have you know that I'm just 6'5''.
K711: It's true.
Felix: Truth be told, Jenna and Sheba are like 5'2''! Its crazy!
K711: OMG!! WHAT MIDGETS!
Felix: But as for what I eat, I like to eat pie.
K711: Me too!
Felix: Lets eat pie, and sing Beatles Music!
K711: You're ON!!!!

*many hours later*

Felix: Say you don't need that diamond ring
K711: and I'll be satisfied!
Felix: Tell me you want that kind of thing K711: That money just can't buy!
Both: oh I don't care too much for money, money can't buy me love!!!!
K711: Whoo, yeah. I can't tell you how true that last line is.
Felix: So what should we do next?
K711: How bout "Ticket to Ride?"
Felix: Wait, weren't we having an interview?
K711: Oh yeah! Uh, that wraps it up. I'm filled with pie and singing Beatles hits. See you next time. Send me your questions at [email protected]

*many many many years later*

K711: So, do you remember where we left off?
Felix: We finished the first verse of "Eleanor Rigby"
K711: Beeeeeautiful. I love that song.

Ivan
K711: Well, I�ma couple of days late, but I hope you�ll forgive me. After all, I�m not exactly the most reliable guy ever. Heh heh.
Ivan: Hi, I�m Ivan.
K711: Ok! Yeah, first question.
Ivan: You don�t have to be so sarcastic.
K711: What? What�d I say?
Ivan: You know what I�m talking about.
K711: *slinking away* Are you� reading my mind?
Ivan: Yeah, what�s the big deal?
K711: *hiding behind set wall* N-n-othing�.. If you th-th-think I�m scared� You�re� uh� WRONG! Yeah, that�s it�. please stop� *sobs uncontrollably*
Ivan: Sorry� are you afraid I�ll laugh at your innermost thoughts?
K711: Uh, Its not embarrassment I�m afraid of� it�s more of incrimination.. OH CRAP! I definitely shouldn�t have mentioned that.
Ivan: Ok, ok. I won�t read your mind.
K711: Um, ok. Interview. First Question:�
Ivan: No Way! Sheba�s a moron! She uses SOO much gel keeping her freaking hair like that. And she likes Felix anyway.
K711: Did you just read my mind?
Ivan: �����no.
K711: Whew, cuz for a second there I�. Wait�. You DID read my mind, DIDN�T you?
Ivan: Ok, ok, I�m sorry!!!!
K711: You�d better be. And you probably wouldn�t like what happens when my thoughts turn to Mia�
Ivan: Say Wha?
K711: You�re probably too young� it�ll scar you or something.
Ivan: What?
K711: Lets just say that night wasn�t a disappointment.
Ivan: Pardon me while I go vomit.
K711: Bathroom�s down the hall. And don�t worry, I get this a lot.
Ivan: Oh Good Lord�. *runs to bathroom*
K711: heh heh. Kids these days have no tolerance for that stuff. I blame public schools for their lack of teaching *words drowned out by Ivan�s retching* I mean, SURE some parents will be �concerned� and all, but hey, we�d all be extinct if it DIDN�T exist.
Ivan: Ok, ok� I puked all I needed.
K711: Did you clog my toilet? I need that toilet.
Ivan: I don�t think so.
K711: Good. Like I said, I need that toilet for stuffing down corpsesss�. I mean stuffing down�. Sport�ses. Sportses.
Ivan: Wow, you ARE a criminal�
K711: What, is there a LAW for flushing down sportses?!
Ivan: Actually there is. Look here in my handy law book.
K711: You keep a book of all known laws with you at all times? Do you go to law school?
Ivan: No�
K711: So you�re just a nerd. Good, that�s what I thought.
Ivan: Hey, don�t call me a nerd! Well anyway, it says here, �The practice of using the flush-o-toilet-tron and it�s associates to dispose of the sportses is punishable by death. �Tis a greater crime than to flush a man down whilst melting into his body a sharp metal implement�
K711: CRAP! Er, I mean�. I have no reason for this to affect me� as I have definitely NOT done both on a regular basis�
Ivan: Ok, dude. I can�t stand idly by while I see a felon get free with flushing down sportses AND corpses. The honor of a scout must not let this happen.
K711: Whoa, you are a nerd!
GS Roundtable Exec: The opinions expressed by K711 are not particularly the opinions of the GS Roundtable Corporation, and we hope we did not offend the Boy Scouts of America organization or its members, who we are informed, are all nerds.
K711: And you KNOW what I do to nerds�. CAGE! *K711 slams a cage on Ivan* I bet you were wondering why you were sitting on a cage containing a dying Piers, riddled with puncture wounds, huh?
Ivan: Well, the thought crossed my mind more than a few times�
K711: Oh, your brains not gonna have time to think anymore. It�ll be too busy trying to deal with the BLOOD ENCRUSTED PIKES OF BRASS REPEATADLY GORING YOU!!!!! MWA HA AND HA!
Ivan: Sweet Merciful God, NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!
K711: Well, Ivan�s on the path to death, and I hope he�ll catch up to Isaac and Piers in time. So thanks for reading this. Email questions to
[email protected]Remember, if I poke it with tacks, it�s your duty as a human to give me a million dollars. See you next time!
Back to top