Title: The Eternal Flow
Author: Adalisa
Email: [email protected]

Feedback: I can't live without it.
Distribution: Mama Chelle's site, XanderSlash's site and my site. Anywhere else, just ask. I won't say no.
Web site: http://members.tripod.com/luxshine/

Summary: The consequences of Angelus' drinking LaVelle's blood.
Rating: PG-13

Disclaimer: Xander, Angel, the Watchers and Slayers are creation of Joss Wheldon and are owned by Warner Brothers and Mutant Enemy. However, LaVelle is mine.
Content LV/A, X/A.
Notes: This is the fourth and probably last installment in the Oceans of Time series. The rest can be found either in my site, Mama Chelle's site and XanderSlash's site.

Part 1: A Troubled Young Stream.

"I don't care if it isn't visit time, he is my son and I'm going to see him!!" The shrieking voice pulled LaVelle out of his half-sleep. He turned immediately to the darkest corner of the room, where Angel was also in his guard.

"Excuse me, ma'am... but visiting hours are over and our patients need their rest... you can come back..."

"I am not going away until I see him! I'm going to see my son and no one can stop me from that!" In that moment, a nurse put herself in the doorway to LaVelle's room, and both vampire and mortal watched stunned as Xander's mother tried to push her aside. LaVelle's eyes grew scared, but it was just a brief moment. Afterwards, his face was full of sad resolution.

Seeing Angel ready to interfere, LaVelle motioned him not to. The vampire was surprised, almost shocked to see this, but nodded his agreement. He would not argue with his mortal friend.

"Let her come in, please." LaVelle asked to the nurse, who also looked half-shocked before moving aside, allowing Mrs. Harris and her husband inside. Xander's mother didn't look as dangerous as the last time LaVelle had seen her. That day, she had been almost a female version of his own father, now she was only a worried woman. She was dressed with a dove gray skirt and jacket, her work clothes probably, her face showing traces of ruined make up that showed the traces of tears. Even when she still stunk of alcohol, LaVelle felt sorry for her.

She walked towards him, not noticing Angel, her face full of hope. "Xander-baby? You... is it you?" She asked, her tone completely different from the yelling one LaVelle remembered.

"I am sorry, madam. I am still not your son." He answered, not willing to hurt her more, but unable to lie.

Her face broke immediately, a shadow crossing her eyes. She took another step forward, mechanically, looking at him with a mix of hate and confusion.

"Stop it!!" She shrieked. "Don't lie to me anymore, Alexander!! You are my baby and you shouldn't treat me like this! You love me!"

She moved again, as if to hit LaVelle, but Angel intercepted her, his face as tight as hers. She blinked for a moment, before retreating horrified.

"YOU!! MONSTER!!" Her anger turned to terror, as she hurried behind her husband who watched all with a strange calm. "What have you done to my baby? You turned him against me!! You almost killed him!!"

Before she continued, LaVelle sat up, still dozed because of the lack of blood and rest. "Angel... I think it will be better if you leave me alone with Mr. and Mrs. Harris for a moment... I am sure that Miss Buffy will want to see you, now that the curse is a blessing."

Mrs. Harris mumbled something under her breath, that sounded close to a prayer, as Angel passed at her side, heading to the door. She didn't know it, but LaVelle's words had hurt the vampire deeply. Angel had not left LaVelle's side in the three days the boy had spend in the hospital, staying in the linen closet during daylight, sitting beside his bed at nights. Even so, they hadn't talked much. LaVelle was too weak, and so usually was asleep... and when he was awake, the conversation always turned to Buffy or the other Slayerettes.

When the vampire was gone, LaVelle turned to see his... Xander's parents.

"I am sorry. I did not had any right to risk your son's life." He said, calmly. "I wish I could have acted in a different way to avoid you any sorrow."

Mr. Harris nodded, and sat in the chair that the vampire had occupied while Mrs. Harris finished her prayer, stealing glances to the door. "We understand... It was not your fault, LaVelle. Our son choose this dangerous activity, and even if we don't understand it..."

"Xander did not choose it!!" Mrs. Harris interrupted, rushing to kneel at LaVelle's side, grasping his hand with desperation. "Isn't that right, baby? That dreadful Buffy and Willow dragged you into their madness!"

LaVelle hesitated. Even when he knew his reasons to fight demons and vampires, he never had learned or questioned Xander's. It was simply granted for him, that if he had been a Watcher in his own lifetime, then naturally his next incarnation would do the same... But now, faced with Xander's mother's inquire, he felt the complete weight of doubt falling over his shoulders.

"I do not know Xander's motivation to help Miss Buffy, Mrs. Harris... I... I only know that I do not think he was forced to work with them."

"Xander... baby... don't lie anymore..." Mrs. Harris's voice turned to a plea, as she caressed LaVelle's hands. "It gets me mad when you do it, and you know what happens when I'm mad at you..."

LaVelle looked at the woman, wondering what he could do or say to make her feel better. He didn't know anything about Xander's life, except for the little tidbits that Willow had told him. What were the reasons that his mother had to beat him, since when it had been going on... And all of Xander's friends seemed to ignore those little facts. It was because of that that LaVelle did not know what to do... It had been easier to believe that Mrs. Harris was like his own father, violent without a reason, unable to show tenderness... Now, faced with her broken face and tears, LaVelle felt guilty, for having take her son's place, for having put her through the pain of seeing her son's body in the hospital.

"You must think we are bad parents..." Mr. Harris began, looking to the floor as if unwilling to meet LaVelle's eyes. "After all, what kind of parent would ignore the kind of stuff Xander does with his friends? It's not as if we never noticed the ripped clothes, the blood stains, the numerous stakes that Xander kept in his room... But we... We have never been good at taking care of our children."

"Stop it!" Mrs. Harris yelled, without leaving LaVelle's hand free. "He knows we love him! Don't you, baby?" Her voice was breaking in tears, and LaVelle used his free hand to caress her hair, trying to soothe her. When her tears seemed to lessen, Mr. Harris continued.

"Xander... he always was somewhat frail... Never got much friends, except from Jesse and Willow... and he was always getting into some sort of trouble... Since I am not very good at discipline... I let my wife take care of it, while I just paid the hospital bills and never asked from where the bruises came until it was too late... You see where that got us." As he finished, he did lift his eyes to meet LaVelle's, and the young man understood how much it had cost to him to make that confession. Suddenly, the family image began to turn very clear.

"You never listened..." Mrs. Harris trailed on, as she cried. "... I told you to be careful... to avoid dangerous things... but you always came home with a scratch or a bump... I had to teach you not to do that things..." As she spoke, LaVelle remembered one of the few things his own mother had told him the first time his own father had hit him "He only hits you because he loves you' it is the only way he knows for showing his love." Then, it had not made much sense, LaVelle knew that the man who almost killed him years later never had much love for him... but in the case of Xander's mother... He could almost understood her. "I had to..."

"I... I am sure that Xander knows that you love him..." he mumbled, uncertain. And when Mrs. Harris turned her eyes to him again, pleading, he felt tears rolling on his cheeks. "I know that you do."

Angel found Buffy patrolling around the cemetery. She had recuperated fairly quick from the wounds that Angelus had inflicted on her, returning to her duty as soon as she convinced her mother and Giles to let her out from her house. However, she was clearly not very happy to see him.

"What do you want, Angel?" She asked. "LaVelle won't hear more of your excuses so you had to come to see me?" The remark hurt him, and it must had show in his face, since the young slayer quickly apologized. "I'm sorry. But chains and torture usually put me in a rotten mood."

"It's all right, Buffy. I deserved it." He muttered, not willing to go much into the subject. Instead he looked around, into the quiet night. "Not much activity today..."

"Yeah... Seems like all Mr. Bitey are hiding." She agreed, before sitting down and turning to see him "But you didn't leave LaVelle alone just to come and chat about work, did you?"

"Xander's parents went to visit him. He... thought it would be better if I left him alone..."

They sat together in silence for a moment, without knowing what to really say. Angel's mind whirled with confused thoughts, about Buffy, LaVelle and Xander. He knew what kind of sacrifice had LaVelle made in order to give him his soul back, he knew that the young Watcher had been willing to give up his life once again for Angel's own eternal existence. But the vampire didn't know if it had been moved by LaVelle's love for him, the love that the mortal boy had professed with his last breath 100 years before, or by LaVelle's loyalty and friendship towards Buffy...or by something more. And he still wasn't close to unravel his feelings for the boy. Spike's vision had only helped to confuse him further, to the point that now he couldn't tell for sure who was the one he loved.

It was then when Buffy turned around, very serious.

"Angel... We need to talk." She began, as her fingers twirled around the claddagh ring. "This isn't working at all..."

"Buffy...What..." Angel suddenly had the sickening sensation that he knew exactly where Buffy was going, and he felt hurt by it. He didn't want to hear the words that surely would come out the beautiful Slayer's mouth. But she was determined to finish.

"You know what, Angel. When... when we meet, I admit, I was pretty much dazzled by you. And I loved you... I still do... but... you know what happened. I cannot be with you if I know the demon you can turn into." She finished by taking off the ring, and placing it in his hand.

"Buffy... I..." He watched unbelieving the small ring in his palm, before turning to see her again. "It won't happen ever again... LaVelle is sure of it... He turned the curse to a permanent spell..."

"It still doesn't change things. The demon has your personality anyway, only that he is evil... And he was very clear about who both of you wanted..." Buffy looked away for a moment, before smiling slightly. "You don't love me..." This shocked Angel, and he immediately denied it, he was confused, but he knew that his feelings for the Slayer hadn't disappeared. Seeing this, she began giggling. "I'm sorry... O.K. You love me... but you aren't _in_ love with me. And I... I am not _in_ love with you either... but that doesn't mean that I do not love you and I wish to see you happy."

The vampire didn't answered, and just looked at the ring in his hand. He had thought long ago about breaking up with Buffy, to leave her free to search for someone who could be near her all the time... but he had never thought that she would be the one to end the relationship... It was then when it dawned on him, the kiss she had given LaVelle days before at the hospital.

"I don't think I'll be happy ever again... Not after what has happened" He managed to say, as images of Buffy and LaVelle together whirled in his mind. Even when LaVelle had told him that he still loved him... now he was not that sure. After all, when they lived together, in LaVelle's real life-time, the young man had never been out socializing, or meeting friends and people. Now, he had all of Xander's friends. Even if it weren't so, LaVelle would never act upon his feelings as long as he was in Xander's body. And Angel had hurt them both... by becoming Angelus, by hiding things.

"Don't say that." Buffy interrupted him before he could start brooding again. "In time we all will forget it... It is not as if you killed anyone this time..."

"I could have killed you..."

"LaVelle stopped you in time. Just for his sake, you could try and be happy for that." Then she stopped, wondering what to say next. Without much warning, she stood up, and began walking away. "You know, it always amazed me how you can be 200 years old and incredibly dense in love affairs. If it wasn't because of our past history, I would take advantage of that..."

"What?" Angel rushed to meet her, but Buffy simply shook her head without stopping.

"Talk to Cordy. She might have some interesting stuff to tell you." While he tried to understand that last statement, Buffy kept walking. She wasn't sure that she had done the right thing, but after learning all about the new spell and it's main ingredient, she was not going to let her ex-boyfriend and her two best friends suffer for unrequited love. Even if she had to get them jealous to realize it was not unrequited anymore.

Part 2: The Bridges

LaVelle was completely sure that he was dreaming, for various reasons. He had never seen the empty Factory where he was walking, and that was the first one. He also didn't had any recollection of entering it, or why he should be there, and that was the other. And third, he was facing himself. Or more accurately, he was facing Xander, his future self.

"It's time for you to come back." LaVelle said, trying to get closer to Xander, who simply backed away, as if afraid.

"No. I don't want to." The other him answered, his voice shaking with fear. "I only get hurt there."

LaVelle frowned at hearing this, and then he noticed the two tiny bit marks in Xander's neck. He took his hand to his own neck and discovered similar marks. Obviously, they were mirror images. "I'm sorry. This was my fault."

"I'm not talking about this." Xander answered. "I'm talking about... other stuff. I don't mind getting hurt... as long as they know why I am getting hurt."

"They? You mean... Miss Buffy, Miss Cordelia and the others..." LaVelle asked, puzzled.

"No. Cordy knows why I do it. And Buffy... well... whatever idea she has, she's welcome to keep it." Xander sat in one of the flower decorated chairs and turned to see LaVelle. "Why did we do it when we were only you?"

The question, the form of the question took LaVelle by surprise. Especially since Xander should know the answer. "At the end?" Xander nodded, waiting for the answer. "To be with him. To make sure he would not kill himself." LaVelle admitted, for the first time. Not even with his dying breath he had told Angel that the only reason he had for keeping hunting vampires, demons and the like, was to be around the immortal being.

"I am not going back." Xander insisted, and then began to walk away. "Not until it's safe. Not until I won't get hurt anymore."

LaVelle woke in the bed that Angel had choose for him in the mansion, feeling disoriented.

It was not the first time he had dreams like the one that had just awaken him, but it was the first time that his future self had been so cryptic. For a moment, he wondered if he should tell Mr. Giles about it, or about the fact that maybe his own feelings were the ones that kept him unable to become Xander again.

Although, it was not exactly becoming Xander again what was going to happen, and LaVelle had not told the others that because he knew that Xander wouldn't like it. He and Xander were so alike, that it would be more like having all his memories back... It was as if he had amnesia, and something kept blocking all his memories from this present.

And that something was probably the fact that LaVelle did not want to forget his love for Angel.

Oz watched curiously the new turn of events as the group danced in the Bronze. Since the Dingoes were on stage, he had the unique opportunity to view the couples dance undisturbed and unnoticed. Not that anyone actually noted that his silent, non-caring facade was a facade.

In the dance floor, Buffy was dancing with LaVelle, who was too much of a gentleman to turn her down. She was wearing a very short skirt, and Oz knew she was trying to make it look as if she was his girlfriend, or at least, his interest. It was not unusual to see Buffy dancing, she loved to dance, and it was the only activity that her tight schedule as vampire slayer hadn't disrupted. However, until last week, her usual partner was Angel, not LaVelle.

It was no news that the Slayer and the vampire had broke up. At least Oz had been seeing that coming way before it happened. But the way in which Buffy almost plastered herself against LaVelle was something not anticipated. It was as if she was trying to get Angel, and every other male in the club, jealous. And she was not the only one. As the song ended, and LaVelle tried to make it back to the table, Willow intercepted him. Not that Oz saw that as a threat to his relationship with his adored girlfriend, but Willow acted very similar to Buffy... only less obvious. And before Buffy, there had been Cordelia.

The girls never let LaVelle sit down in the table they shared with Angel. In fact, they tried their best not to leave them together, much less alone.

It hadn't go unnoticed by the vampire, who now looked at his friends with almost hate; the jealousy that the vampire felt was so clear that Oz could almost sniff it in the air.

Angel loved, or lusted, LaVelle. LaVelle had deep feelings for Angel. None of them made a move to reveal them. The girls apparently had made their minds to push both men to the limit. And somewhere along the way, Xander's body and mind were trapped too.

Something was going to happen.

Soon.

Cordelia and Buffy were dancing with LaVelle, this time making the boy blush, while Willow got the job of keeping Angel in the table. She hated it, but she had lost the bet, so she was there, having to keep company with a brooding vampire who now seemed to have all the good reasons to eat her and her friends just for annoying him. And she had to make sure that if he left the table, it was only going to be to talk sincerely with LaVelle.

"I'm going home now." The vampire announced, his voice a rough growl.

"NO!" Willow shrieked. Angel looked at her puzzled, although by now he was used to the way in which the girl seemed to be constantly nervous sometimes. Especially when she was trying to keep a secret. "No... You can't go home... Who will accompany LaVelle? He can't go alone... there are demons... and werewolves... and vampires in this town!"

"Willow. LaVelle is a Watcher. He has fought against all those things and more. And... I think Buffy could take some time from their mating to walk with him." As the last words were spited from the vampire's lips, Willow knew it was time to make the last move, or risk Angel doing something drastic, like staking himself.

"You know, LaVelle does not enjoy Buffy's company like that." She said, almost in a whisper. "Or Cordelia's or mine for that matter."

"What?" Angel was in his seat again, watching how Buffy left Cordelia alone to keep LaVelle in the dance floor and walked outside. Probably to hunt some random vampire. LaVelle made a move to follow her, but Cordelia, and the other dancers in the club made it impossible to him. "Then why you do it? A new torture shock treatment to make me pay?"

"Why would you think we are doing it to hurt you?" Willow answered, having some confidence back. If the vampire started to stammer, she would have win the match.

And, right on cue, Angel didn't had an answer.

"You're being way too dense, Angel." She continued, waiting that he would keep the promise made long ago of not biting her if she said something he didn't like. Of course, she could always make him furious. "If you have some trouble with us hanging around LaVelle, the least you could do is to come out clearly with him. He loves you and you know it. So if you feel the same, you should at least tell him instead of looking at everyone who talks to LaVelle as if you were going to eat or maim the whole human race!"

This time, Angel did open his mouth, his face a mask of shock after hearing Willow's very accurate description of the situation. But before he could make the sounds come out from his throat, Cordelia and LaVelle returned.

"I think our dancing is too much for a young Watcher." Cordelia said teasingly, keeping her arms over LaVelle's shoulder. "You should take him home, Angel, or we won't be responsible for our acts."

LaVelle seemed a little flustered, but Angel took no notice of it. He simply left his place, moving towards the exit, followed by the young Watcher.

And he also didn't noted the encouraging sign that Cordelia made to LaVelle, or the smile in Willow's face.

"If you love him, you should tell him." Miss Cordelia had said in the dance floor.

"And don't worry about you being in Xander's body... Trust me, if he were here, he would say the same thing."

LaVelle had took some time to understand it, until he finally came to the realization that what the girl was saying was that Xander also had feelings for Angel.

That should have come as a surprise, except for the fact that LaVelle had his suspicions about it. After all, what was the reason for Xander to keep risking his life, if he didn't loved Miss Buffy?

However, it was not as simple as Miss Cordelia had wanted to make it. Even if now LaVelle could act upon his feelings, knowing that Xander wouldn't feel freaked or object to such activities; that did not solve the problem of Angel feelings towards Xander. What would happen to the young boy if Angel did not felt the same towards him? Or worse, if Angel only stayed with him for the physical resemblance between LaVelle and Xander?

Not that he thought that the vampire would be capable of such a vile way to act, but still, the doubt was in his mind.

So now it was time to take the next step on his broken life, even if it broke his heart more.

"I am going to live in the Harris house now, Angel." He said, as soon as they reached the mansion. Angel turned around to see him, visibly shocked, but didn't say anything. Apparently, he was going to agreed to anything LaVelle said, or did. "It is not fair for them, not now when they are trying so hard to make things better to Xander, that at least... at least their son's body... is not there..."

Then he began to climb up the stairs, to re-pack the few things he had brought to the mansion the second night he spend in this time.

Angel just looked blankly at him, knowing that when LaVelle crossed that door, would probably be the last time they saw each other outside a danger situation. That if Xander returned, Angel would not have the chance to... to talk with the boy and undo the tangled mess that his feelings were in that moment. That he would loose them both.

The pain in his heart when that thought entered his mind was almost more than what Angel could bear. It was as if he was loosing his soul again, while standing outside during the dawn. He stood in his place, as LaVelle re-entered the lobby, carrying his bag; he stood there as LaVelle muttered his fare wells, and not moved a muscle. But when LaVelle touched the door, getting ready to walk out of his life, Angel couldn't stood still anymore.

The vampire turned around and grabbed LaVelle's arm, looking at him intently, his eyes full of the love he had tried to hide for a hundred years. "Please... Don't go." He said, his voice a hoarse whisper. "I don't want either of you to go."

Part 3: The Eternal Flow

"W...What?" LaVelle looked at the vampire, surprised and not at all sure that he had heard right.

"I don't want either of you to go." Angel repeated, without letting go of the boy's arm. "I want to be at your side, LaVelle... all the time that we have left. And... when whatever is going on ends, when Xander returns... I want to be with him. ... I love you... and I love Xander... I love both of you."

LaVelle stared, more than a little taken aback, trying to take all of Angel's words. Then he lowered the bag to the floor, and looked straight into the vampire's eyes.

"Angel... I ... " LaVelle seemed to remember something, and his tone changed from surprise to confusion. "Miss Cordelia said that you and Xander were always... always fighting."

"I know. I know that Xander probably does not return my feelings." Angel lowered his eyes for a moment, remembering the quick kiss that Xander had given him before they rescued Buffy, a year ago. But that could have been LaVelle, and not Xander. "But that doesn't change the fact that I love him... and that I do not love him because he is you, but because all the little things that are different from you." This time, there were tears in LaVelle's eyes and Angel worried that he had said the wrong thing, so he hurried to correct himself. "At the same time, LaVelle... I never stopped loving you. When you died... the only thing that kept me from waiting the sunrise was the promise I made to you. It was the only thing that kept me going for a hundred years."

The tears did not stop, but LaVelle was smiling, so Angel let go of the watcher's arm. The young man then took the vampire by surprise by hugging him, his warmth touching almost every part of Angel's body. "I love you, Angel. I've never stopped loving you either." It was the first time since his arrival to 1998 that he had been able to say those words. And all his doubts washed away as the cold arms of the vampire entwined with his.

"LaVelle... I..." Angel began to say, but LaVelle simply turned to see him, and kissed him. The vampire gasped, surprised, as the kiss deepened in intensity, as he remembered his only other kiss shared with the young watcher, in a barren cold cell while his love died.

When they parted, LaVelle rested his head in the neck of the vampire, allowing his love to hear the pulse of his heart. There, surrounded by the cold, strong arms of Angel, LaVelle felt secure, as if nothing could harm him ever again, fully knowing that Angel would never leave him alone, would never leave Xander alone...

A single tear fell from his eyes, as he turned again to Angel, kissing him briefly this time. "Thank you, Angel." He whispered in the vampire's lips. "The only thing I ever regretted was the way I had to say good-bye to you. And now I could fix that."

Angel's eyes grew wide, as he realized what LaVelle was saying, and he held the young man's body closer to himself, kissing his forehead. He knew that if this was the final good bye, the last moment they would have together, then he should be strong, for Xander's sake.

"Good-bye, LaVelle. I will never forget you."

LaVelle's eyes dulled for a moment, as he was held by the vampire, and when he turned up again, Angel had no doubt who he was seeing. Xander's eyes where full of horror, just as they had been the night when all had begun. The boy tried to get away, but Angel kept his hold on him, thinking on any words that might soothe the fear Xander had felt, being so close to his death.

"NO!!!" The boy yelled, and quivered with fear, as the Vampire hugged him.

"Shh... Xander, it's all right... We beat the snake demon... We're safe now. You're safe now." Angel began saying, keeping his tone soothing, even when all he wanted to do was to kiss the boy and make all his fears disappear.

"Deadboy?" Xander asked, and Angel found himself grinning. He had missed that little pet name that Xander used, even when everybody thought that the vampire hated it. "Whe...wha... This is not the park..." The boy finally said, after looking at his surroundings. "Why... Why are you... are we..."

Angel smiled, and finally let go of the boy, allowing him to take a couple of steps back. It would be a little hard to help him to adjust to the fact that he had missed four months of his life, even harder to tell him that Angel loved him. "You were badly hurt," The vampire began, as Xander walked towards the living room, looking for a place to sit down. "the shock was a little worse than what we thought and... for the past four months, you weren't exactly yourself... And... you stayed here with me, to help you regain your senses."

"My parents..." Xander said, a little of fear creeping in his voice.

"Both agreed with it... Your mom is going to AA. now, and... well, maybe things will be better for you there now." Angel didn't know how to reach the subject of his feelings, so he kept mentioning the good things around Xander's life. The most immediate changes. The little things that had been going on, such as Buffy's return.

"You must be happy for that." Xander said, a little sadness creeping in his voice. "Say... Why are you with me then? Did you got tired of making up in the graveyard?"

"Buffy and I broke up, about a week ago." Angel said, smiling. Surprise dawned on Xander, who never would have expected the vampire to be so uncaring of the fact that he was no longer Buffy's boyfriend. In fact, to the boy it seemed that the vampire was happy... As that thought entered his mind, a memory flashed in Xander's head. He was standing face to face with Angelus, who was trying to kill him. Xander had insulted Angelus, told him that he didn't had the guts, and then... then Angelus had bite him and... and the next thing he remember was being in the vampire's arms, only that Angel was Angel, and not the soulless creep that had tried to kill Buffy and her friends months ago. The memories overlapped themselves, and Xander lowered his head, trying to make sense of what his mind was telling him. "Xander? Are you feeling all right?" Worried, Angel sat at the boy's side, putting an arm in his shoulders.

"I... I just got..." dizzy, Xander was trying to say, when another memory flashed in his mind. This time, it was more puzzling. Angel was holding his arm, stopping him from leaving the mansion... And he was saying... Xander looked up to the vampire, eyes wide, face full of hope. "You meant it? You really meant that?"

"Meant what?"

"You... You were there... you said..." Xander paused, trying to make out the words that the vampire whispered in his memory "... 'I love Xander' but... but you were saying it to me..."

Before Xander could confuse himself further, Angel caressed lightly the boy's cheek, making him look up into his eyes. This was it, the time to tell the truth. Angel smiled, he had lost too many time by trying to hide his feelings, and if LaVelle had given him the chance to be truly happy, Angel was not going to miss any other chance. "I mean it." He leaned in close, his smile growing as the boy didn't move back. Still, he didn't want to go too far. "Xander... I'm going to kiss you now. But only if you want me to. If you don't, just tell me, and I will never bother you again."

Xander smiled shyly, and when the cold lips of the vampire touched his, he closed his eyes, opening his lips when Angel's tongue pressed them. Gaining courage, he slip his hands to the vampire back, closing the distance between their bodies.

When they parted, both had similar silly smiles.

"I love you too, Angel." Xander said, and then brushed his lips to the vampire's neck. "Maybe I can delay my return home for another night..."

"Yeah... maybe you can."

Xander woke up to the sound of someone walking down the lobby. Angel was sleeping at his side, but since according to his watch it was around midmorning, he knew that his lover would not awake.

**My lover... I like the sound of that...** he pulled up his pants, and got ready to meet his visitor. In the night, he had remembered everything that had gone while he was LaVelle, but he was not planning on telling Angel very soon. He had always known about that past life, but until he meet the vampire, he had dismissed those memories as too much imagination. When he had seen Angel in the Bronze for the first time, dancing with Buffy, the jealousy he had felt had been so powerful that it startled him, but he knew he couldn't go and tell Angel that he could not be with Buffy because he loved him. So Xander had waited, only revealing his memories, his past self, when his control over his feelings weakened. Now, awaking finally in the vampire's arms, had made all the wait worthwhile.

Buffy was standing in the lobby, worried and anxious. Xander smiled, knowing that since he was supposed to be in his parents' house, all his friends would be worried.

"Hey, Buff." he greeted, and the girl turned around to see him, smiling.

"Xander! You're back!!" The Slayer jumped at his arms, hugging him with real affection. "When LaVelle didn't arrive to your house, your mom called me... I would have come earlier, but... I got a little distracted."

"Slayer's duty?"

"You know it." Buffy smiled, looking at her friend, who looked more happy than anytime she could remember. "Everything is fine here?"

Xander smiled, thinking on his lover waiting upstairs, in all what had happened before this day, and nodded. "Couldn't be better, Buffy."

They left the mansion, after Xander wrote a note to Angel promising he would be back later in the afternoon. He knew that now, he didn't have to feel afraid of his own house, or of his parents.

As long as he had Angel's love, everything would be fine.

And now, nothing would stand in the way of their love.

The End.