Title: Quiet Minds
Author: Adalisa
Email: [email protected]

Feedback: I love it. It's inspiring... and let's face it, it's the only real reason to keep writing.
Distribution: Mama Chelle's site, XanderSlash's site and my site. Anywhere else, just ask. I won't say no.
Web site: http://members.tripod.com/luxshine/

Summary: After the events in The Zeppo, Xander and Angel find that they're no longer alone in their heads.
Rating: R

Disclaimer: Everyone here is property of Joss Wheldon, Warner Bros. And another bunch of people. But they keep treating them bad, so I play with them.
Content: X/A (Now that I think of it... it's the only thing I write in this fandom...)
Spoilers: The Zeppo.
Notes: This was inspired by Grace's Earshot challenge. However, as always, I couldn't follow it step by step. I guess I'll have to get more practice on answering challenges with just one fic, instead of doing it with a series :). Basically, the idea was a 'What if Angel / Xander could read each other thoughts. There probably will be a sequel where I will address the one requirement of her challenge that I didn't follow. Oh, and as it will be needed, // means telepathy :)

The wounded members of the Scooby Gang saw silently as Xander walked away, after having been deflected again by them.

"I hate to see him like that." Willow said, possibly the first words she had uttered that day that hadn't to do with the Hellmouth.

"It is better this way," Giles said, shaking his head. "We still haven't finish our work."

"What?!" Buffy yelled, holding her encased arm high "You want to tell us that this nightmare hasn't ended?"

"Unfortunately, we were too close to the Hellmouth's corrupt energies. It's necessary to make a purification ritual to ensure that nothing else happens."

"You mean we as in everybody who was in the School last night?" Willow asked, a little worried "That means we have to wait until tonight..."

"There's no time" The Librarian interjected immediately. "Since Angel is technically a demon, he must be immune to any consequences. We have to perform the ritual before tonight." Then he handed them all a little amulet with a slightly weird rune carved on it. "Wear this until we finish it."

"That's another thing for what Xander must feel lucky." Buffy commented, off-handily, as she looked at the little thing. "He doesn't have to go through another boring ritual."

After Cordelia had left him alone, Xander sighed. He really wasn't in the mood to be at school at that moment. He felt tired, depressed, and being in a building full of people who didn't even care if he was there or not didn't help at all. So without much more than a partial glance to make sure that Snyder wasn't checking on him, he simply left the school and walked home.

It wasn't like him to skip school, regardless what everybody could think about him, but Xander was really fed up with everything. Last night he had _saved_ the school from crazed zombie bombers and no one had cared. No one seemed to have time to see what he had done. Worst of all, last night had been when he finally realized that for all his friends, he really was nothing. None of them had managed to save a little of their important time to tell him what was going on and why there was a demon roaming around school while he was chasing zombies. Not even Faith, and he had slept with her... as little joy as that memory gave him. Not even Angel.

Xander sighed. Being ignored by a brooding vampire meant that he had really hit rock bottom.

Being ignored by a brooding vampire for whom he had very deep feelings, was even worse.

But he didn't want to think about that. He didn't want to think about anything.

As soon as he got to his room, he fell asleep. And as blackness surrendered him, he thought that maybe, just maybe, he could forget it all.

He was riding a car, his car, his uncle car, when he saw the four dead boys laughing.

With almost no second thought, he drove towards them, noting that they looked at his car with some sort of trust.

"Hey, our wheels." One of them said, as the group split, to make room for the car between them, as he almost stopped, just enough to reach out and grab the one who was neared by the neck.

"Hey!" The zombie yelled, and that was just enough to make him hit the gas, taking off and dragging the dead kid alongside, as the others chased him. But he was not going to let go of his very scared prey. "Stop! C'mon, man! Stop!"

"Where's the bomb?!" He heard himself saying, his voice sounding unusually sure... almost as if he where someone else.

"It's in..." The zombie was showing some serious signs of tiredness, but he ignored them. He needed to know. "It's in the high school!"

"In the school where?!" He demanded again, not letting him go, as he reached the next corner. "Oh, God, this really, really hurts!" The zombie begged. "Stop!" The wheels shrieked, and he smiled. He knew he was going to get the information he needed. "It's in the, it's in the boiler room."

Angel woke up, startled.

He knew it was far from dusk, that he should be asleep, but still, his weird dream had managed to wake him up. Something that only dreams about Buffy dying used to do.

What bugged him the most was that he had been expecting to have nightmares, the kind of nightmares that made him sweat, all revolving around the Hellmouth and Buffy. Not of himself chasing some unknown zombie kids in some unknown car.

The vampire frowned. It hadn't been him in the car. It couldn't have been. There had been a reflection in the rear mirror, only that he hadn't seen it. And they weren't unknown zombie kids. He knew his names... Parker, Bob, Dickie and Jack.

The first question was how the hell he knew?

The second question, a little more urgent, was perhaps simpler. What was all that about a bomb in the boiler room of the High School?

The Hellmouth was open, in the same spot where it had come out before. A huge, green, multi-headed tentacled demon was coming out from it, his fanged mouths open and menacing over the heads of his friends. He could see them trying to fight them, as he knew that he was unable to help them. Buffy and Faith were doing what they knew best. They were hitting it. Giles and Willow were chanting a closing spell... Lighting and energy swirled in the room.

Xander woke up, sweating. From where had that vision come from? He sat in his bed, shaking and trembling. He hadn't seen the Hellmouth open two years ago, he had been busy fighting vampires at Angel's side... but he had seen a head like the one in his dreams as he chased after Jake's gang.

If that had been the monster his friends had faced, it was no wonder that they hadn't told him. After all, he was useless.

"Cordelia... Have you seen Xander?" Buffy walked over to her friend ex - girlfriend, half hoping that she could avoid to talk with her. "He didn't show up for the first classes."

Cordelia smirked, and looked at the Slayer with contempt. "Why? Do you need more donuts?"

"Ha, Ha, Cordy. You don't have to be that nasty. I'm not the one who cheated on you." Buffy looked at her, slightly annoyed. "I'm serious."

"He might have found new friends," Cordelia stated, not wanting to point out how the whole mess with Xander had been Buffy's fault. "I saw him with Jack O'Toole last night at the Bronze, and he hasn't showed up either."

Buffy's brain connected the name and the face in two seconds, before she rushed to meet Giles. Jack O'Toole was one of the school most problematic students, the kind who didn't stop forces of darkness but was more likely to help them.

And Xander had seemed lonely lately.

Giles and the rest of the Gang listen to Buffy's story with some anxiety. They had to perform the ritual before it got dark, and the clock was ticking. Half of the ingredients where missing. However, the librarian managed to give at least one half good advice. Somehow, they would make Xander understand that dangerous friendships where not the way to get a 'thing' or being more noticed. They were his real friends, and would help him, as soon as they had time.

After the third nightmare, Xander pretty much gave up the idea of sleeping. Every time he managed to doze off a little, he would see himself again in the fight with the Hellmouth, with the barren knowledge that he was useless, that the guys were better without him.

Worse, each time he woke up, he had the slightly disturbing and sicken sensation that he was not himself, that he should be somewhere else. Staring at the walls of his room wasn't going to help any.

So he grabbed his jacket and left the house, half hoping that now his friends would have some time to hear him, and maybe he could work in fixing things with Willow, Oz and Cordy.

When he reached the library, he found Giles scrubbing a pentagram from the floor and smiled. It wasn't a life or death situation, but at least he could help and feel useful.

"Hey, G-man! Need some help?"

"Ah... Xander..." Giles looked at him, somewhat nervous. The same attitude that Willow and Buffy had had with him since he had broke up with Cordelia. Xander felt incredibly hurt for that. "No... We're done here... just a small ritual that we had to practice... with Willow... thanks anyway..."

"Nothing that has to be researched? Books out of place?" Xander was desperate for doing something to help, anything to get rid of the growing feeling that he was just an obstacle for his friends.

"No... Ah... Xander..." Giles got to his feet and looked at the teenager with troubled eyes. "I noticed you weren't in classes today..."

"I was tired." Xander answered, too quickly for Giles' taste.

"Well... yes.. But Xander... I want to tell you that I understand that sometimes... when you're young... you try to prove that you're... important. That you have something that no one else has. And... sometimes, you get wrapped up with friends that shouldn't be called friends, but only because they do dangerous things..."

"Like Slaying?" Xander asked, suddenly very angry at the insinuation he thought he heard in Giles' voice.

"It is a dangerous occupation, Xander... but..." Giles trailed off, not sure of how to continue his talk.

"Don't bother, Giles. I get the idea" The troubled teenager didn't wait for an answer, he simply turned around and left the library.

Angel woke up, again plagued by a nightmare.

Now it was closer to sunset, so he decided to take a shower. The images of his dream still plagued him, and he was not very sure of what to do with them.

The vampire took off the shirt and boxer he usually wore to bed and got into the shower with a sigh.

He really didn't understand what was going on with his mind. Even when he dreamed of Buffy, he usually was part of the dream, not a silent, invisible watcher.

After the second nightmare, he had been able to see Xander. It was Xander the one who did all the things in his dream... somehow, he had dreamed himself in Xander's place.

All of them pointed to one thing: There was a bomb in the school, or there would be. Angel was not sure... his dreams had never been prophetic, but there was no logical explanation to what was going on.

Besides, he had something else occupying his mind.

The last vision, because he couldn't really classify them as nightmares, had shown him a very different Xander from the one he thought he knew. The boy had run into the student lounge at school, running to the couches, when one of the zombies, Bob, swing an ax at him. Xander reacted fast enough to escape the weapon, losing his balance and falling onto a table, rolling off from it and to the floor as Bob tried to nail him. Still, Xander didn't give up.

He had been knocked onto another table, rolling away just at the last minute, making the zombie lost his weapon, punching Bob in the face, with enough strength to stun him, grabbing him from the neck, swinging him head first into another table, making Bob fall to the floor, dazzled.

Then Xander used the ax to drop a vending machine over the zombie's head.

It was then when Angel had woke up.

Now he was wondering why he had never mentioned Xander's courage, as he had always been there to help Buffy and the gang. Why Buffy had never seen past the clown facade that the boy liked to put on...

Why he kept telling himself that he didn't have to think about Xander.

Maybe when he got his answer he could start thinking about the bomb.

Xander got into the Bronze, as the darkness began to envelope the town. He had a slight headache, and more than once in the afternoon he had had to stop himself in the street, to get a look at his surroundings.

At one moment, he had been terrified of daylight, and at another, he had been convinced that he would be better off dead.

None of those thoughts helped him much, when apparently all his friends were avoiding him. He had meet Willow and Buffy early in the afternoon, and gotten a very similar speech as the one he had gotten from Giles. So it was official. He no longer had any friends.

He was driving his uncle car, probably not a good idea if he kept having those disorienting thoughts, and he parked with extreme care. He really didn't want a repeat from last night.

As he made his way to the bar, he bumped into Cordelia. His ex girlfriend, who had done nothing but torment him since they broke up.

"But if it isn't bad boy Harris." She teased, smiling with her most annoying Prom Queen face. "What happened? Your punk friends got tired of you too?"

"I don't know what you're talking about, Cordelia."

"Your new friends, Xander." Cordelia insisted. "Now that Buffy finally saw the light and won't hang around worse losers than herself, you're hanging with O'Toole, aren't you? Harmony says that he saw you left with him yesterday." Xander frowned, looking at his ex with anger. True, he had been ignored by everyone except for a psychopath zombie and his friends. Even if they had been bad news... they had took him in as one of their team. He had been the wheels man... In fact, when Jake had tried to kill him, before the bomb thing... well, it had been in a friendly way.

And when dead bullies started to treat you better than your friends, you knew that life was starting to suck.

"Fine!" he yelled at her, making everyone around turn to take a look. "If that's what you want, sure. I will be in better company with them!"

Then, before Cordelia could say anything to answer that, Xander left the Bronze.

Angel had barely left the mansion when the vision hit him, making him shake and almost fell to the ground.

He was Xander again, riding a blue cadillac that Angel had only seen in dreams, and the zombies were laughing as if they were great friends. He had felt Parker's hands on Xander's neck and cheek, as the grossly rotten zombie had reached up to touch the boy.

But that hadn't been what made Angel shake with fear. It had been the zombie's words.

"Oh yeah, man, you on the team now, baby."

What did that mean? Was it that Xander was now dead? Or that Xander was going to die?

He truly hoped that it was the second option. He really did not want to think that Xander was dead, not when he had just admitted how important the mortal boy was for him... Xander could not be dead. Without a second thought he headed for the library. Maybe Giles could help him.

Xander was driving in a very desert street when he began thinking on the events of the past night.

And what he was thinking was depressing him even more.

Yes, he had saved school from a dead mad bomber... but he had killed the only ones who had showed the mere interest in him for the past month. Sure, he had done what any slayerette would have done in his place. Only that he was sure that anyone else would have done it better and faster.

And anyway, he now knew that he was indeed the weak link, the useless one. The visions he had of the Hellmouth proved it. His friends... his former friends... had managed to close it without his help. They didn't even had to tell him. He would have been in the way.

Apparently, he was always in the way.

And as the depression in him grew, another feeling was creeping in his mind. Cold, silence. Death.

He felt as if his body was dead, even when the grip in the steering wheel told him otherwise.

He shook his head trying to get rid of that feeling, but then he stopped.

Maybe it wasn't such a bad idea. Who would care for him if he was gone? Certainly, not his parents. They barely acknowledge that he was there. He no longer had any friends. And he liked the quiet.

"Giles?" Angel tumbled in the library, attacked again by the alien thoughts. This time it had been an almost irrepressible urge to stake himself, that had stopped as suddenly as it had begun, leaving him only with a chuckle inside his mind.

"Angel? What's wrong?" The librarian rushed to his help. He had been researching a little about the Hellmouth, just to be sure that it wouldn't open again in the next months, to be sure with a little advance.

"I... I need your help... And I think Xander does too..." Angel managed to gasp, as he stumbled in a chair. In Xander's usual chair. "I think there's a bomb in this building... or there will be... I'm not sure."

"A bomb?!" Somehow, Angel felt angry that the librarian thought first on the bomb and not in Xander. In the past 24 hours he had learned to like the young boy a lot more than what he usually admitted to like him, and the constant knowledge that he was always ignored by his friends was making the vampire very edgy. "Where? How did you found out?"

Without letting his emotions take the best of him, Angel explained Giles all about his dreams, that had begun just in the morning. He tried to give them some sort of chronological order, even when he had been dreaming it in disjointed sequence. One in particular was worrying him more than the notion of the zombies trying to kill Xander and claiming him as one of them. It was Xander, holding an ax, face to face with one of the Hellmouth's mouths. He didn't know when that had happened, or if it would come to happen. But his very recent experiences with that monster made him wish that he could be sure that memory was never part of Xander's mind.

When he finished his story, Giles was pacing around. Worried. Angel smiled. Maybe now the librarian was noticing how important Xander was.

"It was the contact with the Hellmouth... I never thought on using the protection spell with you, as you're a vampire... You should be immune to it..." As he talked, the librarian seemed even more worried. "But Xander... If he was in the school last night, as your visions seem to prove... We never realized..."

"What is going on Giles?" The vampire was feeling depressed again, a strong depression that came out of no where, as different forms of ending a human life flashed through his head. Wrapping the car in a tree or in a wall, hanging, a gun, a knife...

"It seems that somehow you and Xander got a mind link." The librarian said, flatly.

"A... mind link?" Angel repeated, not very sure of wanting to know more. "You mean that... all this visions I'm having are things that Xander saw... or is seeing? And that he can... read my mind?"

Giles nodded, as he walked towards the vampire. "We need to keep you two apart until we can find the way to undo the damage. Obviously, all that you have been seeing is the past... and if you cannot read Xander's thoughts... then it probably has something to do with distance. I will call Willow and we will begin researching."

Angel blinked, unbelieving. Giles had thought of isolating him, of finding a way to stop the situation from getting worse... but Xander's welfare hadn't been even mentioned. It had been Xander the one who had fought the zombies, it was Xander the one who had defused the bomb... Why didn't Giles care??

//No one cares//

The thought came clear, unhindered in Angel's head, followed by a such a certainty that the vampire had to close his eyes to fight the despair that was creeping in his heart.

"Angel?" Giles voice was worried, but for Angel it sounded as if it were light years away.

He only had two thoughts in his mind.

One was a very clear image of a bomb, waiting alone and deactivated in the boiler room.

The other was Xander. The mortal boy had arrived to the school, and he was ready to die.

Xander walked inside the school building, a strange calm washing over him.

It had been very clear in his mind. No one cared about him, and even if he was in trouble, his 'friends' didn't had any time to help him. But he couldn't stop himself from trying to help.

And in doing so, he ended up endangering his 'friends'.

No more. He was tired of knowing himself useless. He would end with it, and welcome the quiet peace that had been offered at him the night before. But not in the school.

There could be innocent victims there.

So he only had to pick up the bomb, and drive to where the damage would be minimal... Where he would be the only victim.

Overly dramatic? Perhaps.

But if his life had been a whisper, he could go out with a bang.

//Your life has not been a whisper!!//

The thought came, uninvited, through Xander's calm, and the boy frowned.

He knew that voice, but he didn't want to believe he was hearing it. His owner was probably doing some angst quality time with Buffy.

//Go away// He told to the alien voice and continued towards the basement. It wouldn't be long now.

"He's here" Angel whispered, as the images of the bomb overlapped with an eerie calm. A calm very much what he had felt just before Darla offered him her blood.

"Xander?" Giles asked, almost kneeling in front of the vampire, looking at him as if he was some sort of strange experiment. "Angel... are you sure? If he has come here, then maybe your visions were of the future and..."

"I'm sure." Angel tapped his forehead, with a sad smile in his face. "He told me to go away... He... He thinks that no one cares about him." The vampire rose to his feet, and walked to the door. "I have to stop him."

"Angel... if you can hear him thinking at this distance... touching him could..."

"If I don't go, he will kill himself!" Angel roared, shifting to game face to make the librarian step back.

"I'll go with you." Giles offered, but he took a step back. Memories of his torture at the hands of Angelus were still too fresh in his mind.

The vampire shook his head, shifting back. "You will only make things worse. You were the one that hurt him first." Angel said, leaving the library. Now that Xander was so close, he could see very clearly the memories that the boy had of the day. Giles telling him to get new friends. It was probably a misunderstanding, but it had hurt Xander nevertheless. And now, Angel felt the same hurt inside his body, inside his heart.

Angel did not head for the basement, as he knew that Xander was now walking to his car again. He had gotten the bomb, so there was nothing in the school left for him.

He had to find Xander soon.

So he ran to the parking lot, his thoughts racing as he discovered feelings that he did not know that were buried in his soul.

As he got nearer to the teenager, he felt the despair and self- loathing grow. All the moments in which Xander thought he had failed pushed into his mind, a mock parade of all the times in which Xander felt that he was inadequate, that he was not loved. There were too many.

Angel tried to fight the depressing feelings as his own loathing memories came to surface, mingling with the mortal's. And in a single second, he understood. Xander was not only dealing with his own suffering, he was also absorbing Angel's.

The result was that he felt unworthy, that Xander had convinced himself that he deserved to die.

//NO!!// Angel screamed in his mind, at the same time that he saw Xander standing near his car, the dream Cadillac he had seen in dreams.

"What are you doing here, Deadboy?" Xander asked, his voice so neutral and calm that made Angel shiver.

"Xander... we need to talk." Angel forced himself to walk and not run towards the mortal, wondering if he knew about the mind link. //Please... don't do it.//

Xander looked at him, confused, but then the mortal just shook his head, a self-mocking smile in his lips. "There's nothing to say, Angel... I don't know why are you here, how did you know... but I don't have anything to say to you. Go and find Buffy or something."

"I'm not leaving until we talk, Xander." The vampire was now almost at touching distance, but he managed to stop himself from touching the boy. He had to try and help Xander without startling him or making things worse.

"I do not want your help." The mortal said, answering the unvoiced thought in the vampire's mind. "Why should you care, anyway?"

"Because you're my friend." Angel spoke as the thought formed in his mind. Xander was so immersed in his depression that had not noticed the mind bond and he didn't want to add a new shock to the boy.

But he immediately realized that he had chosen the wrong words, as the very clear image of him rebuffing Xander at the Bronze appeared in his mind. Their minds.

"All my friends are dead." Xander answered, not meeting the vampire's eyes.

"That's not true! Willow, Buffy..."

"They are no longer my friends" More images and feelings accompanied the words, Willow taking her hands away from Xander, Buffy telling him that everything that had happened was his fault, Cordelia breaking up with him in Valentine's Day, Oz hitting him... Jessie dying at his hands. Angel couldn't fight those memories and feelings with his words, and he knew it. Nothing that he said would cross that wall of despair.

But he had another chance, another choice.

//I'm not going to let you die, Xander. You're too important here, and I'm not going to let you waste it all//

"What?!" Xander's eyes grew wide, as Angel spoke into his mind. His face paled, and he took a step back //Go away// "What's going on?"

//Not until you listen, Xander// "Our minds are linked, I don't know why. But even if I do not talk, you're going to listen."

//Let me alone!//

//You don't want to be alone// Angel was certain of that. All the hurt Xander had been projecting was built around being alone. "Xander... please... let's talk about it..."

"Why do you care? You think I'm useless... That I can't help you..."

Angel sighed, and thought back of the time when he had been hiding, waiting for the Master's rising. When Xander pulled him out of his apartment with no more defense than a cross. "You're not useless... You're probably the most brave on the team... because you don't have any special defense, and you still try to help us..."

Xander shook his head but Angel didn't faltered. He called forward all the memories he had of Xander's help, of the times Xander had been there to back Buffy and the others... what he really felt for Xander...

And even when some of those were things that he didn't want to know himself, he let all of them bare for the boy to see. Xander eyes grew wide, first with confusion, then with fear... And suddenly, Angel found himself immersed in Xander's memories, the same situations he had pointed out, but twisted to show how Xander had failed, how Xander had been in the way.

And what he feared that everybody would think of him if they ever found out...

Without thinking, he reached out and held the boy in his arms, hearing him cry, in and outside his mind, trying to find the words or the feelings that would help him soothe the brave young man.

//Xander... don't... you were not to blame for anything... you did all you could...//

//Jesse is dead because of me... //

//And you saved Buffy... I never thanked you for that.//

"I told her to send you to hell..."

"And I deserved it."

Xander looked at him, eyes red with tears, and Angel could actually feel what was going through the boy's mind... he could see as Xander reviewed all his memories, trying to get a hold of something that would prove his point. But as he did, Angel counteracted, thinking back of all the times where Xander had been there, going to the point of touching Xander memories, reviewing those instead of his own.

They stood like that for many minutes, forgetting everything around them, immersed in the private world that their linked minds had created.

Xander's sobs began to subdue when Angel heard Giles' steps nearing them. Not wanting to upset the already tired teenager, the vampire lifted his gaze and glared at the librarian, who stopped a few steps before reaching them.

"Angel..." Giles began, but didn't made any attempts to get closer to them.

"Don't. You have already done enough damage." He was not sure if his distrust came from his own memories or from Xander's hurt, but he didn't want the British librarian near them.

//Please... take me... away//

Without questioning Xander's mental plea, Angel helped the mortal to the back seat of his car, before sitting in the driver seat.

"We will take care of this alone, Giles." Not expecting an answer from the ex - watcher, Angel used the keys in Xander's jacket and drove away.

They arrived at Angel's old apartment about ten minutes later, Xander somewhat calmer. The decision to avoid the mansion and the Harris' house had been a joint one. A joint thought in order to avoid any attention from anyone until they had been able to talk, to wade through some of the stuff that had been going on in both their minds.

In any other situation, they would have talked, denied their feelings, go around pretending to hate each other until one of them finally left the other. Go on with their lives.

However, their minds were joined, they knew what the other felt, what the other feel... It was a moot point. What had started as intrusive nightmares, as doubting their own minds, now was an almost constant flow between both of them, a flow that had started as soon as they were together. Angel was somewhat afraid.

Xander was terrified.

At the end, they didn't talk. Neither with their voices or with thoughts, as they couldn't find the way to show what was really in their minds and heart. So, in a very inexperienced way, they just let their feelings and memories pass through the weird link that had been formed. By the end of the night, they knew each other better than anyone else.

Angel knew about Xander's childhood, about all the times when he had felt that he was not good enough, that he was not what his parents wanted or deserved, about Xander's very few friends: Willow, Jesse... What Buffy had looked to Xander the first day they meet, so different from the real Buffy that Xander had finally come to know this year...

What Angel had done to Xander, both unknowing and willing.

Xander knew all about Angel. His life, his death. Why he had accepted Darla's offering, what he had felt during all those soulless years. His first years living with a curse, his meeting with Whistler. The stirrings of love at first sight when he saw Buffy, the wonder at being befriended by humans, even when they knew what Angel was.

What Xander had done to Angel, just by being there, just by being alive.

As frightening as it was, there were no more secrets between them. There was no longer room for lies.

It was almost dawn when they kissed for the first time, when Xander finally let himself understand what Angel had been trying to show him all along. He was loved. And with that knowledge, and the certainty that he would never be alone again, Xander drifted to sleep, secure in the arms of his beloved Angel.

The end