letter36

Dear Family and Friends,

Okay, applaud here, I have discovered the scar of Bulgarian society, the
root of all evil, the bloody thorn in BOTH my sides . . . BOYS. It's as
simple as that . . . BOYS. And, in my case, 6th grade boys. Today was a
great day, I didn't have any major discipline problems, and my worst class
ended up being so much more pleasant. "Why are they so cooperative?!" I
wondered eagerly. "Why are they listening? Why are they participating?
WHAT IN THE WORLD IS GOING ON HERE?!!" And then it hit me . . . out of a
class of 15, only 8 of them had decided to show up . . . ALL GIRLS. Every
last boy in the class had decided that it was a good day to skip English and
go home to play on their Playstations . . . like I wouldn't notice! Now,
during training, we were kindly informed that skipping class is a huge
problem in Bulgaria and we were advised on how to handle such situations,
but do you think I followed that advice?!!? Not on your life!!! I REJOICED
to have a day of freedom from my worst troublemakers! I danced around the
room, composing songs in my head, grinning viciously with a manic cackle as
I showered the girls with streamers and confetti . . . needless to say, I
didn't mind the mass ditching of my 6D boys a bit!!!

And, that's when I had the epiphany superior to any epiphany I've ever had.
I looked at my blessed girls as they raised their hands high to answer
questions and listened attentively, girls who, even though they are girls,
have never been THIS good. And that's when I realized that every loud
conversation, every high-pitched giggle, every stroll around the classroom,
every misbehaving child, every event that rattles my fragile nerves, all of
the annoying CHAOS is the direct result of a little being called . . . .
(insert, "Twilight Zone" music here!) THE 6TH GRADE BOY.

They march into class with an air of superiority, often late, baggy shirts
covering their bony knees, as they loudly rant and RAVE about issues
concerning Pokemon, football, videogames, cell phones, or rap songs,
sometimes their pitch rises as they attempt to rap or when somebody tells a
funny joke. Some, I have to pry the blasting headphones from their ears,
others I have to finagle the mangled cell phones from. Often, they reek of
entire bottles of cheap cologne (how else do you get girls at this age?)
mixed with heavy doses of body odor, since Bulgarians do not seem to
understand the purpose of deodorant. They usually taunt the screaming girls
with wicked grins, taunt their teacher with even wickeder grins, taunt each
other with raucous slaps on the back and devilish cantor. "Teacher, Lubomir
hit me!" Lord help me, is that 40 minutes up yet?!!? I make myself useful
by teaching English, "Teacher, I already KNOW this!" pipes up one lone boy
from the back of the room . . . Ahhhh, my dear boy, then maybe you would
like to teach it?!!? A whisper means nothing to a 6th grade boy, and a
listening ear means even less. I am ready to bet money that these boys rub
off on their girls, seeing that when they are present, the entire class
gives me ills, but, when they are gone, heavenly bliss has hit the English
classroom full force. Oh, but I love my boys . . . on occasion. For,
without them, what else would keep me so entertained?!!?

Later in they day, I giggled as a few of my better-behaved, guilt-ridden
boys tried to hide their faces as if they would get in trouble for missing
my class . . . Tsvetomir, darling, I never would have guessed that was YOU
behind that hand!!! And I also made sure that I sarcastically greeted my
lovely boys later in the day with, "(Name), I am SO GLAD to see you! We
sure did MISS you in class! Now WHERE were you again?!!?" as I delighted in
the frightened looks on their dramatic 6th grade faces. Let me tell you,
there is nothing like a 6th grader . . . I'm still trying to come to terms
with the fact that I WAS one once. How could that possibly be?!!?

Anyway, today WAS much better and I was able to laugh and smile with my
students and really MEAN it. Plus, all of the blasted snow is really
starting to melt and the days have been sunny and warm and you certainly
can't beat that! YIPPEE! After having written a letter to the Peace Corps
about the apartment situation, a representative came to Samokov this morning
to try to solve the situation. We went to the new apartment in question,
and it's still a dirty, disastrous WRECK, but supposedly some of that will
change before I give the place one last chance and spend the night there on
Monday. So, hopefully, there will be improvement. On Tuesday, I was
somewhat upset and distracted by this entire situation and, since I wear my
feelings right on my sleeve, some of my students asked what was wrong. I
SIMPLY told them that there are problems in the apartment that I am living
in now and that I have to move, CASE CLOSED. Well, they became worried and
told the security guards my news after school, who then proceeded to speak
to one of the teachers. This particular teacher then went to my school
director, concerned, and she asked, "WHY do you want to get rid of the
American?!!" Ahhh, there's nothing like a good, old-fashioned Bulgarian
gossip tree . . . it sure does add a little spice to small town life!!! So,
my dear friends and family, I promise to keep you updated on the great
apartment dilemma. It'll all work out in the end, it always does.

Keep me in your prayers!
Love Always,
The Vice President of the 6th Grade Boys Fan Club