mellonfive

ADDICTED TO THE WEB (winter wonderland:)

Doorbell rings, I'm not list'nin',
From my mouth, drool is glist'nin',
I'm happy--although
My boss let me go--
Happily addicted to the Web.
All night long, I sit clicking,
Unaware time is ticking,
There's beard on my cheek,
Same clothes for a week,
Happily addicted to the Web!

Friends come by; they shake me, Saying, "Yo man!
Don't you know tonight's the senior prom?"
With a listless shrug, I mutter "No, man;
I just discovered laugh-a-lot-dot-com!"
I don't phone, don't send faxes,
Don't go out, don't pay taxes,
Who cares if someday
They drag me away?
I'm Happily addicted to the Web!

White Sangria

1 bottle dry white wine
2 kiwis , peeled and sliced
1 large pear, sliced thin
1 cup seedless green grapes
2 tbsp. sugar
2 tbsp. Calvados or Armagnac
3 tbsp. Cointreau
1 1/2 cups bottled sparkling water
mint sprigs for garnish

Blend all ingredients except for sparkling water.
Cover and refrigerate 4 hours or overnight.
Add sparkling water, garnish and serve.

Red Sangria

1 bottle dry red wine
2 tbsp. orange juice
2 tbsp. Grand Marnier
1 tbsp. sugared orange and lemon slices
1 cup club soda

Mix all ingreds. together except club soda. Cover and refrigerate several hours or overnight.
Add club soda and ice and serve.

SIGNS YOU'VE HAD TOO MUCH HOLIDAY CHEER

You strike a match and light your nose.

You take off your shoes and wade in the potato salad.

You hear a duck quacking and it's you.

You tell your best joke to the rubber plant.

You refill your glass from the fish bowl.

You start kissing the portraits on the wall.

You complain about the small bathroom after emerging from the
closet.

You tell everyone you have to go home...and the party's at your
house.

You have to hold on to the floor to keep from sliding off.

You pick up a roll, and butter your watch.

You yawn at the biggest bore in the room...and realize you're in
front of the hall mirror.

CRANBERRY SALAD
1 1/2 cups boiling water
1 pkg 8 serving raspberry jello
16 oz. can whole berry cranberry sauce
1 cup water
1 tbsp lemon juice
1/4 tsp cinnamon
1/8 tsp ground cloves
1 can crushed pineapple

In large bowl, dissolve jello with boiling water. Stir in cranberry, cold water, lemon, cinnamon and cloves. Refrigerate till thickened, spoon in pineapple. Refrigerate 4 hours.