Okinawa, Japan
Sacramento, CA
San Jose, CA
Vallejo, CA
(Here's where I joined the Army)
Ft. Jackson, SC
Ft. Myer, VA
Ft. Knox, KY (school)
Ft. Huachuca, AZ
Presidio of Monterey, CA
Kaiserslautern, Germany
Plankstadt, Germany
Schwetzingen, Germany
(Here's where I got out of the Army)
Roseville, CA
Grand Forks, ND
Enumclaw, WA
Kent, WA
Seattle, WA
(Gee, is it time to move? Those who know me probably think it's time!)
The Netherlands: It's a bright and clean place. The women are freshly scrubbed. The men drink Heineken and are freshly scrubbed, too. But they don't look as freshly scrubbed as the women. Those women, wow, now they're scrubbed.
Belgium: A dark country with forests and ugly women.
Luxembourg: Not really a country. Mostly just a city with some land around it. It's nice though. General Patton is buried there. Go visit him, he'd appreciate it.
Czechoslovakia: No longer exists. I'm not sure where it went.
France: Ah, culture at it's finest. They say the French are unfriendly, but I didn't think so. I was a helluva lot ruder then they were! Tip: when ordering anything, just call them "Frenchie." They like that. Oh, and pronouce it "Frawn-chee."
Italy: Gorgeous, exotic women (is there a theme going here?). Beautiful old cities. Great pasta. Crappy drivers. They say that, due to their great diet, they don't have heart problems. I think it's because they don't do anything. Like fight for their country for instance..
Thailand: Hot and humid, but with some of the most beautiful women I've ever seen. It's pretty much an adult Disneyland. Need I say more?
Turkey: Looks like California's central valley, except with mosques and a bunch of guys with thick, black mustaches. Huhm, maybe it is the central valley...
Tunisia: Nice beach there. Just watch out for the camel poop.
Okinawa, Japan: It's been a long time since I was there. It was dirty and poverty-ridden. I hear the Japanese have improved it and made it a resort destination. I kind of liked it the way it was. Ah, the fun times we had..."Hey, come look at what's floating in the ditch!"
Sweden: Blond, beautiful people wearing pastel-colored clothes. It reminded me of the people the Morlocks ate. Yum, them's good eatin'!
Switzerland: The banking capital of the world. Neat and tidy. They gave us Swiss cheese. What's up with the holes? They also gave us Swiss fries, but the damned French stole the recipe.
Austria: Home of Adolf Hitler and some classical music composers. Remember, Hitler wasn't a Weiner (from Vienna), but he was a weener. Man, did I write that?
Canada: Pretty much like a more liberal U.S. (sorry). Greatest contribution to the world: Bob and Doug McKenzie. Take off, you hoser.
Mexico: Dirty, stinky border towns, tacos, enchilladas, burritos, Corona...hey, what more could you ask for?