Torment

I sit here 
lost in a seeming
confusing daze
not really sure
of the directions
I need to take

wanting the
forbidden fruit

forbidden only
through my actions
I feel spasms
of pain running
through my heart

and visions
so real I want
to reach out
to claim
at least in my dreams
what I see to taste
her scent in my nose
to savor her nectar
as I kiss her lips
and feel her body
close to me

if only for once
if only I dare

I want to see
what was promise
but how
can I do it
without
saying what
I feel inside

my beating heart
my lonely soul

twilight
in the dim duskiness
I see her
as I wish
coming to me
inviting me
in for a dip
in a warm pool
where dreams are reality

inside of my soul
my poetic soul

she calls my being
poetic in nature

does she know
would she care
would I dare

but the visions
so strong
so lasting
so vivid

I swear they are real
so real these dreams
that nothing is
left to be pondered

but the endless questions
that torment me so

Paul Vernon Deffendall
June 5, 1997

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