Authors Notes, Disclaimer and Intro
 

PART FIVE -- Facing the World
 

Buffy didn't break for breath or pause as she felt wings take her to the mansion once again.  The wind against her face made her tears feel like ice. She burst through the doors, shoulder first, and snapped her head to the side, looking for him.

"Angel!" She yelled, from the foyer.  "Angel!"  Panicked, she checked his bedroom, and then his bathroom.  The hole in her stomach become a huge depression, weighing everything down and taking it into the depths of her.

She ventured to the door of Drusilla's room, where she hadn't dared to go before.  "Angel?" She asked in a timid voice, echoing in the darkness.

"Buffy."

Behind her.  The voice was behind her.  Thank God.  Thank you God..

Buffy spun around and saw him standing in the hallway.  She threw herself into his arms.  It took him a second to warm to her and then he surrounded her, clutching her tightly.

"I'm sorry Buffy.. I never meant to push you away.. I thought it would be better for you.. I'm sorry," he kissed her head several times, shedding a few tears of relief in her hair.

"I saw him Angel...  He was there...  I hit him.. And I ran.." Buffy hiccuped into his broad chest.  "God I hope I didn't kill him..  I don't think I.."

"I wish you had," Angel whispered.  She looked at him for a long while, staying close in the embrace.

"I really wanted to," Buffy admitted, terrified of herself.  "The other.. Other.. One.." She stammered.

"I went to see him," Angel told her simply.  Buffy bit her lip and stared at him curiously.

Angel kissed her head and they found their way to the couch.  Angel let out a nervous chuckle and tucked the hairs plastered across her face behind her ear.  He dried her tears with his fingertips.

"You're shaking," Angel stated simply, not surprise.  He shrugged his coat off and put it over the front of her.  Then he moved behind her, letting her back rest on his chest.  Almost spooning her on the sofa, as they faced the fire.  Buffy rested the back of her head in the crook of his neck.  She tangled their legs that were streched out in front.

And they lay in silence, watching the fire crackled and dazzle with sparks flying off the logs.  The fire eating into the hard wood, singeing it and turning it to black and eventually ash.

Nothing could be said, not when they were communicating in touch and in tender moments.

Buffy fell asleep in his arms and had the first dreamless night in what felt like years.

Buffy woke before Angel, turning round to see his head lying against the sofa, a look of peace washing over him.  Content and almost.. placid.

Placid wasn't usually a word to describe Angel; contrary to popular belief.  He might look blank, as if he's thinking of nothing and doesn't feel anything but in his eyes, it's a different story.

It's a whole different genre.  With different characters and another plot line.

Few people ever saw into Angel to see his Soul; his pain, his hurt, his emotion, his love and his need for redemption.  Actually, only one person ever got to see all that.

And her name was Buffy Summers.

Buffy regarded it as a God given gift to be able to look into his milky brown eyes, soft and big, and see the real Angel.  The only person able to do so in the world, past or present.

Aan equal blessing that he could do the same to her.

But right there his features looked so relaxed and calm.

After a while of staring at him, he roused and made a small mmhmm noise he usually does when he comes to.  Buffy rested her chin on his chest and watched his eyes flicker to life, his brown eyes unmasked again and a wealth of subtext flooded in.

But "hi" was all he said.

"Hey," Buffy yawned lightly.  "Good sleep?"

"Not sure," Angel made a face.

"Why, did you have a bad dream?"

"No.  My arm just fell asleep.  Must have been a ton weight lying on it last night," Angel grinned.

"I'd like to think I love you anyway, but now I'm not so sure," Buffy threatened in a hard tone.

"What about your sleep?  Well I mean you didn't have an elephant--" Which cued a soft, girly, non-Slayery punch from Buffy on the arm.  "--On your arm, but what about dreaming?"

"Happy vacationing in the land of not dreaming," Buffy sighed.

"I'm glad.  Want breakfast?"

"Love some."

"That is once the feeling returns."

"How'd you get the numb anyway, I thought you weren't much for blood circulation."

"So little you know Buffy," Angel teased.  Buffy sat up, stretching like an new elastic band.  She shifted off Angel gently, before he slid his arms round her waist and pulled her back down.

"Lie here with me a little longer?" He asked hopefully.

She nodded and snuggled back into his shoulder, this time chest to chest and her arms around him, surrounding Angel in her scent and warmth.

Later on in the kitchen, Angel placed eggs in front of her, with a side of cold apple Poptart.

"Angel," Buffy said slowly.  "I have something to tell you."

"OK," Angel nodded, sitting opposite her.

"The other.. One.. You know.. Steven," she whispered.

"Don't be angry, I already seen him," Angel cut in.  "I went last night to see him.  Shake him up a little.  Boy's.. racked with guilt.  As he should be.  Make him turn himself in.."

"He killed himself," Buffy interrupted.  "Last night, he shot himself.  They tried to keep it under wraps and the party went on.. But he killed himself."

"He.. Did," Angel bit his lip.  "He did."

"Yeah," Buffy nodded.

"And what do you feel?"

"I don't know."

Angel licked his lips.  "What did Forrest say to you last night?"

"That it was my fault."

"It's not."

Buffy smiled as Angel reached across and took her hand.

"Angel.. I have to ask you something."

"OK."

Trying to make her tone sound even, Buffy took a breath.  "Once this is over.. Are you leaving again?"

She failed miserably.  And then continued.

"I just..The past few days have reminded me how much I need you and just how happy I am to fall asleep with you.  Trying to convince myself I can be without you has been the past year.  Can't do it anymore Angel.  Don't want to.  Any argument you bring up is gone.  Annulified.  I don't need sex.  Everything has taught me that too."

"Buffy, love making is.." Angel started with difficulty before she cut him off.

"Angel I hardly know what that is.  I've only experienced it once y'know," she reminded him with a small smile.  "So? Are you leaving me again?"

Angel furrowed his brow and looked at her.  "I don't want to."

"But do you.. Have to?"

"There's always a way," Angel gave her hope.

"You mean real, everyday not hiding from anyone?" Buffy asked softly.

Angel nodded and smiled.  "Yes."  He moved from behind the table and came round to her side, kneeling down.  Buffy took his hands and brushed her lips with his softly.

"Can I have that in writing?" She murmuring.

/  "Are you OK now?" Buffy asked, letting her hand leave Angel's as he sat down beside the fire, spread out.  She sat cross legged beside him.  Angel pushed her hair back.

"Voices gone," Angel affirmed.  Buffy sighed in relief and pressed her forehead against his.

"I was so scared Angel," she whispered.  "Really terrified the sun would rise and I would watch you die on that hill."

"I'm sorry I put you through that."

"Me too.  But it's OK now right?"

"Yeah, it is," Angel stroked her face.  "I love you," he said in a hushed voice.  A smile grew over Buffy's face, shining with joy.

"I love you too," she told him, kissing him gently.  Buffy lay back and stared at the ceiling with Angel.

"You know, when I was younger, inside, I wanted to fall in love so badly," Angel admited.

"You did huh?  And now.. What do you.. think?"

"It's not all it was cracked up to be."

"Rich," Buffy scoffed.

"It's so much more.  It was always a different girl every night-- If you don't wanna hear it, please say," Angel cut in.

"No no.  Go on.  I wanna hear about it," Buffy nodded.

"OK.  Different girl every night.  Had probably been through the village twice over by the age of 25.  But I never loved any of them.  I told them I did of course."

"Oldest trick in the book," Buffy noted, jealous.

"Yeah."

"I wish I could have met you when you were human," Buffy mused.

Angel let out a small laugh.  "No you don't.  I doubt I was sober long enough for you to talk to me."

"Who said I wanted to talk?"

Angel shot her an enquiring glance.

"I might wanna.. Challenge you to a drinking game.  Show how manly I am."

Angel laughed softly.  "Men were men and women were women back then and you are better than every one."

"I think that's a compliment or a way of saying I'd beat you at drinking."

"Remember the last time you drank?" Angel reminded her.

"OK. OK.  Big snake.  Lying to everyone.  Lesson learned, passed the course.  I know, I know."  Buffy stared down before touching his hand.

"Has Angel always been your name?  Apart from... Angelus.."

"Liam."

"Liam," Buffy repeated.  "Liam..  I like that.  So how would Liam romance me back in the day?" She turned fully towards him, supporting her head on her arm.

"Liam?  Well first he'd see you across the tavern," Angel replicated her move.  "And he'd come over.  Ask you to dance."

"Dance?  What to?" Buffy asked, interested.

"Irish Celtic music.  Then I'd ask you to go for a walk in the moonlight."

"You would huh?" Buffy smiled.

"Then I'd tell you how beautiful you looked.." Angel said wistfully.  He looked down and Buffy seen him blush.

"I'm guessing this is the part where you what? 'Corrupt my innocence'?" Buffy joked.

Angel nodded, embarrased.

"And what about you?  When was your.. innocence.. corrupted?" Buffy asked delicately.

Angel laughed softly.  "You want me to tell you about the first time I slept with someone?"

"Well, yeah," Buffy nodded.  "Since you know all about mine."

"I was fifteen..."

"Fifteen?"

"People didn't live as long and got married a lot sooner back then," Angel mused.  "Saying that, it was proper for a lady to wait until her wedding night but not much is said about the male."

"Anyway."

"Anyway.  It was a girl I'd known my entire life, Sarah Beth.  She stayed in the house next to me and she was a bit of a tomboy.  We'd play a lot together in the mud and rivers and trees.  She was a better climber than me.."

"How romantic, you bonded over tree branches," Buffy said, jealous as Hell.  Angel smiled a little and continued.

"My best friend, Thomas found Sarah Beth and I throwing stones in the river and came and told us all about last night.  All about him romancing this English woman boarding in his fathers motel.  About what he'd done and.. everything.." Angel said, red faced.  "Sarah and I were fascinated, not having been told previously of this by our parents."

"You never knew about sex until you were fifteen?" Buffy gasped.

"No TV, only 'suitable' books provided by either the school or my parents were read.  There was no way except someone telling me.  And my dad wasn't planning on the Birds and the Bees talk until I was at least.. Oh.. Thirty.  Sarah Beth's parents were the same.  Anyway, so we were hypnotised at this - Tom was a very descriptive guy.  Began writing books before he.. well I.. Uh.. You know.  Anyway, so when he left to see her again, Sarah Beth and I just sat there.  After a while, she suggested that Tom was lying.  I agreed."

"And you two decided to test out the theory?"

"Basically," Angel said with a glazed look in his eyes.  "At first we burst out laughing and then I kissed her.  For the first time.  No, I mean her for the first time.  I'd kissed girls, just not my best friend."

"Very Dawson and Joey," Buffy remarked, trying to keep her voice even.

"And it was under this willow tree.  Messy and unco-ordinated and clumsy.. but worth it."

"Did she..?" Buffy ventured, not wanting to know the answer.

Angel shot her an amused look and nodded.

"Oh yeah," Buffy stood up, fanning herself.

"I didn't love her," Angel reminded Buffy.  "Well not like that."

"I know," Buffy worked her hands double time, blowing wind in her face.

"I didn't know what love was," Angel tried to comfort her further, staring off into the embers of the fire.  "You OK?" Angel looked up.

"Little hot.  Fine soon," Buffy abbreviated.

"Was that too much?"

"No.. Well yes.  I asked you.  And I do wanna know more about you," Buffy sighed.  "I guess I just hate the fact that you were with someone but me."

She sat down again, indian style, pulling her hair back and then tossed it over one shoulder.

"Know the feeling.  I get that way when I even think of that Taylor boy I saw," Angel closed his eyes.  Buffy leaned forward and kissed his closed eyelids.

"I kinda love you y'know.  The whole Angel package," she sighed.  He opened his eyes.  "So was this Sarah Beth pretty?" Buffy asked interested.

"Yeah, she was," Angel nodded faintly.

"Prettier than me?"

"Never," Angel promised.  "No women in the world could ever be as beautiful as you."

"Ooh.. Can I have that in writing?" Buffy teased./

He'd been out the previous night, so first thing in the morning, Willow and Xander went to Giles's house, with Anya and Tara in tow.  They'd called Riley but he hadn't answered.

"Come on Giles!" Xander yelled, banging a fist on the door.

"I'm cold, tired and irritable," Anya remaked, wrapping an arm around Xander's waist.  "I never had any sex this morning because of this Buffy thing," she grumbled.  Xander looked at his girlfriend, his head to the side.  "And the Buffy thing is much more important than an orgasm of mine," she said genuinely.  "I hope she's OK."

Xander smiled in return before turning and beating his fist on the door, yelling Giles's name again.

It opened as he lifted his hand off for a beat.

"Yes," Giles asked, sleepily.  "Oh dear god," he feigned shock.  "It's before 11am and you seem to be awake Xander.  Not only that it's before 8am and I seem to be awake through no fault of my own," he finished in a hard tone.

"Hey!  Xander's always awake at eight thirty because it's the most pleasurable time for sex," Anya defended him.

"Thank you hunny," Xander hugged her into him, as they assembled in Giles's living room.  Giles yawned and shut the door behind him.

"Back to the thing," Willow reminded Xander, sitting down beside Tara on the sofa.  Anya sat down in the main chair and Xander rested on the arm.

"Yeah the thing.  We saw Buffy last night.  Running really fast.  You told us she'd be in LA with her dad for a while.  Why are we never kept in the loop?" Xander demanded.  "Is she OK?  Isn't she?"

"You may all want to sit down," Giles warned.  They all glanced around at each other and then back to Giles.  "OK, fair point.  Buffy.. Buffy isn't in LA."

They all stared hard at him.

"It's early!" Giles defended.  "Anyway, Buffy has not been to LA.  She's been in Sunnydale.  After the last patrol we knew her to be on, she was.. hurt by a demon.  Cordelia had a vision of this and Angel showed up.  From what I understand they've been at the mansion for the past few days.  Buffy's been collecting herself in the wake of this attack and Angel's been helping her."

"Helping her.  Huh," Xander nodded with difficulty.  "Angel helping Buffy.  Couldn't he just stay out of sight like last time?"

"I've spoken to Buffy and she said she needs space and time apart from everyone to sort herself out.  I've told Joyce and Dawn basically the same story I told you except that she's at a friends, rather than her fathers as they might contact her.  I think we should keep it that way."

"What about Riley?" Willow asked.  "Buffy's been in the mansion for days with Angel.  Alone.  Isolated.  Does he know?"

"Of course not," Xander scoffed.  "Unless Riley ranks higher than Joyce, Dawn and us."

"He doesn't know," Giles shook his head.

"So what now?" Tara asked softly.

Before anyone could answer, the door opened and Riley shut it behind him.

"Riley," Giles greeted, yawning again.

"I've seen Buffy.  She was never in LA," Riley told the others.

"Just five minutes late," Anya commented.

"You know?  How?" Riley asked.

"I knew where she was," Giles spoke up.

"You knew she was with Angel in the mansion?" Riley's eyes went wide.

"Yes.  I knew."

"And you never told me?"

"She asked me not to.  I trust her.  Do you?"

Riley opened his mouth and shut it again.  "Of course I do."

"So what are you worried about?" Anya asked.

"The fact she had to hide from me.  With him.  What the Hell has happened to make her do that?" Riley held his hands behind his head.

"She was bettered by a demon.  Threw her off.  She's re-grouping," Willow sighed.

"She's never had to re-group before," Riley pointed out.  "And she doesn't need him of all.. p.. things to turn to."

They all stayed silent, knowing that he was wrong.

"What?" Riley asked the questioning glances.

"Anyway, how'd you find out?" Willow cleared her throat.

"She came and saw me last night."

"That's where she was running to," Xander realised.

Anya touched Xander's knee gently and looked at Riley.  "And?"

"She'd been crying.  She freaked out.  And then she ran off again," Riley swallowed.

"Why freak?" Xander asked.

Willow sat forward.  "What happened?"

"We.. We were.. kissing and then.. She shouted stop.. And.. Then she left," he skimmed, his face burning with the fire of embarrasment.

"That ever happened before?" Anya asked.

Riley sighed.  "Yes and no."

Giles became exasperated.  "Meaning?"

"When she.. When Faith..  Faith as Buffy said that.. But I guess it wasn't her.  So it doesn't count."

Anya shook her head.  "You think Faith stole Buffy's body again?"

"I don't know.." Riley shrugged helplessly.

"You don't know?  How can you not know whether it was Buffy or not?" Xander asked, completely confused.  How could a man not tell his girlfriend apart - even if it was in her body.  He knew inside he'd know if Anya was really Anya.  Her eyes.  They told him everything.  Gave away all of her secrets.

Riley thought hard.  "Well... She swore at me..."

"Not characteristics Riley.  Her eyes," Xander emphasized.  "Was it Buffy staring back at you?"

Riley shrugged again and let his anxiety show fully.  "I think she's with Angel. With with."

"Can't be.  Even I know the ins and outs of the Curse," Anya rolled her eyes.  "Or lack thereof."

"Well as with as she can be," Riley snarled.  "She's leaving me.. that's why she's there with him."

"I think she's there because she's hurt.  Buffy doesn't hide.  There's something wrong and I'm tired of sitting around doing nothing," Xander stood up.  "Going to the mansion. Anyone coming?"

"Yeah," Willow got up with Tara.  "Let's go."

Xander, Willow, Tara and Anya strode towards the door.  Willow paused and turned back to the other two.

"Giles?"

"Report back if anything turns up.  She's fine.  I'm going back to bed," he yawned.  Willow turned to Riley.

"Riley?"

He shook his head slowly and followed them out the door, going the opposite way back to the college.

Buffy rolled over and slowly unveiled her eyes to the outside world.  She sneezed and yawned all at once and she noticed where she was again.

In Angel's mansion.  In Angel's room.  In Angel's bed.  In Angel's arms.

Not a better place to be.

She turned round to face him and watched him sleep again.  She kissed above his eyebrow before touching his forehead with hers and attempting to sleep again.

Then she heard pounding on the door.  Loud thumping on the large thick door.  Anymore and it would wake Angel up.  Buffy sighed loudly and go out of bed, and dressed in Angel's sweats and his black T-Shirt, she answered the door.  Firstly she wedged it open a crack and then she creaked it back further.

"Hey," she said, spun by their appearance.  Xander, Willow, Anya and Tara all standing there.

"Hey to you too Buff," Xander returned, creased forehead.  "How as the City of Angels?"

"You know I wasn't there," Buffy said aloud.  She opened it for them to come into the foyer.

"Are you OK?" Willow asked her immediately.

 Buffy rubbed her head.  "Fine as I can be."

"So what happened?  Why you here with Angel?  What kind of an ugly was it?" Xander bombarded her with questions.

"Can we lay off the inquistion for the moment?" Buffy asked her friend.  Xander shrugged indifferently.

"I like this place," Anya complimented, looking around.  "Really like.  Xander, we need to get a mansion."

"No we don't," Xander shook his head.  "Only vampires and demons live in mansions," he said pointedly.

"And I've heard some really nice ex-demons and their sex machine boyfriends live in them too," Anya tried to convince him, studying the ceiling craft.

"Where is Angel?" Tara asked quietly.  "Is he OK too?"

Buffy softened, glad someone was not out with knives, guns and stakes.  "Angel's fine.  Sleeping."

"Rough night?" Xander asked crudely.  Angel always brought out the worst in him.

"If you must know.  Yes.  He tried to get me to talk to Riley but I stormed out and went to see him anyway.  Angel went and saw one of Riley's friend's who is now dead OK?  Then I came back here and told him I didn't want to talk to Riley.  Anything else?  Want some Big Brother tapes too?" Buffy snapped, not realising that they didn't know half the story.

"Angel killed a guy?" Willow asked in a small voice.

"No no no no.  He went to see the guy before he commited suicide," Buffy said quickly.

Xander folded his arms.  "Why?"

"They had some business... Or something.. I don't know!  Stop asking me questions!" Buffy said in desparation.

"Missing for days with your demonic ex-boyfriend.  You've got some questions to answer," Xander pointed out.

"Not right now."

"Are you back with Angel?" Anya asked Buffy, not taking her eyes off the wall carvings and decor.

Buffy closed her eyes and bit her lip.

"Not the resounding no we were hoping for Buff," Xander said softly.  He sighed and sat down.  "Sorry for.. This.  We're just worried.  For the past few days we've known something's not right.  And seeing you run like that.. We knew something was up."

"Buffy.. Do you want us not to be here?" Willow touched Buffy's shoulder.  Buffy kept her eyes closed.

"I'm OK," she said in a low voice, not answering the question although not meaning to avoid it.

Willow shot Xander a concerned look and Anya came across.

"I'm fine," Buffy swallowed.

Anya cocked her head and stepped in front of Buffy.  "What happened with Angel exactly?  And the demon?"

Buffy felt a hurtful sob rising, erupting through her throat.  She broke down in tears and threw her arms around the nearest person: Anya.  Buffy sobbed into her shoulder, hiccuping.

"Oh oh," Anya said, wide eyed.  "Xander what do I do?  What do I do?"

"Comfort her!  Hug her back!" Xander directed.

"OK, OK," Anya nodded, hesitantly wandering her arms around the Slayers body.  She patted the back of her head gently, smoothing her hair.  "There, there.." Anya tried to soothe, looking at Xander over Buffy's shoulder.  He nodded and encouraged more.  "There.. There.. It's all right," Anya tried.  Buffy sobbed louder into Anya's shirt.  Anya searched for more things to say.  "Everything will be.. OK.  We're all here."

"What happened?"  A deep voice asked behind them.  They all spun around to see Angel making his way over bare footed to Anya and Buffy.  Angel nodded gratefully at Anya and eased his arms around Buffy, touching her cheek with his hand, leading her away.  Buffy fell to the ground in sobs and Angel instantly came down with her.  He moved forward to envelope her on the mansions floor and she fell into his lap.  She hugged his knee and Angel stroked her hair and bent down to kiss her head.

He remembered the position well.  After Buffy defeated the Mohra, she comforted him in this way.  Now it was reversed.

"Sshh Buffy please.." He whispered.

Xander, Willow, Anya and Tara looked on in amazement at the sudden state of the Chosen One, baffled by what exactly happened.  Why she collapsed in tears so instantly and disentegrated in front of their eyes.

"Buffy.. Sshh," Angel said softly.  Buffy squeezed her eyes dry of the tears and rolled her head to look up at him.

"Angel.. Oh God.." She whimpered.  She sat up carefully and he held her into his chest.  "I can't stop seeing it... Feeling it.. Oh God.."

She didn't cry as much.  A few stray tears stained his t-shirt but mostly she clung onto him for solace.  When she cleared her thoat and eyes she sniffed and released her grip.  She sat indian style on the floor and dried her red eyes again before looking up and seeing her friends.  As Buffy noticed them, so did Angel.

"Oh," Buffy said softly.  Buffy stood up quickly and then held out her hand for Angel to take.  She helped him up and he stood behind her as she faced her astounded and puzzled friends.

"Forgot you were here," she said, her voice above a hush.

"So we see," Xander nodded.

They all stood in an uncomfortable silence for an eternity.  Xander scratched his head and slipped a gentle hand round Anya's wrist, drawing her to his side.  She smiled sadly at him and he tried to return it but he hugged her to his side.  Willow cleared his throat and kept firmly to Tara's side. They all felt the irresitable urge to be closer to their partners upon seeing Buffy's breakdown and Angel pacifying her.

It's still there Xander cursed.  It's still there.  I can see it..

"Buffy maybe you should rest," Angel hummed into her ear.  Buffy shook her head vehemently.

"No.  I don't need rest.  I don't need anymore rest," she said firmly.

"Thought as much."

"So.. What just happened?" Xander asked nervously.

Buffy looked at Angel, asking him whether they should keep lying.

"I.. I had a flashback.  Of the demon.." Buffy said slowly.  "It was a rough ride."

"What kind of demon was it?  We can track it and get payback-y with knives and guns and pointy sticks," Xander roused.

"Angel killed it," Buffy said immediately.  "It's gone."

"So.. Do you wanna come back to college?  Or your mom's house?  She's pretty worried that you up and went to 'LA'," Anya told her.

Buffy closed her eyes and swallowed.  "No.  Not yet.  Soon but not yet."

"You know you can't hide out here forever," Willow eased into the conversation.  She'd been thinking deeply about the whole situation and nothing fit.  "There's.. stuff."

"There's Riley," Tara translated Willow-speak.

"I know.  I saw him, I told him that I was here.  And I told you that.. Repeato.." Buffy trailed off.

"Buffy, what did this demon do to you exactly?" Willow asked gently.

"I don't wanna talk about it Will," Buffy mumbled, wrapping her arms around her own body.

"I think we should leave," Willow said.  "If Buffy wants to stay here, then we should let her do what she wants.  Big girl and all, right?"

Buffy nodded gratefully.

"So we're going.  You'll call me if you want to talk?" Willow asked, hugging Buffy.  Buffy nodded as she pulled Willow to her.  "I really don't know what happened.."

"I'm sorry I.. This.." Buffy muttered.  They eased apart.  "I need this."

"Staying here with Angel you mean," Xander said.  He rubbed her shoulder and the stepped towards the door.  "Call us if you want to talk about what happened."

"OK," Buffy agreed, letting them out the front door.  When they were gone, Buffy closed it and pressed her back to it.

"Thank God," she sighed, catching Angel's gaze.  "That was kinda painless."

"Well I'm not dust so I'm happy," Angel shrugged, smiling.  "I think they see through the demon story."

"I think they do," Buffy replied, finding her way to his open arms.  "But I can't tell them.  I can't be all woe is me the victim..  A Slayer isn't like that."

"You're not just the Slayer," Angel reminded her.  "You're a girl too."

"I'll never be a normal girl."

"Normal is overrated," Angel tried to cheer her up.

"Back up.. Flashing lights.. Looks like the Cordelia Influence," Buffy joked.

"I think I performed satasfactorily for my first time," Anya smiled, turning to Xander on their way out of Crawford Street.  "Consoling someone I mean.  I was just thrown in at the deep end and I'm a natural.  Anytime someone dies, I'll be there to soothe and hug and pat reassuringly."

"You did well An," Xander agreed taking his girlfriends hand.  "Seeing those two like that together.. Brought up a lot of stuff..  Just wanna make sure you know I'm proud of you Anya.  The person you've become.  And I need to tell you.. I love you," he finished softly, as they stopped in the street.

"You do?" Anya asked, tears clearly filling her eyes.

"Yeah," he smiled bashfully.

"I love you too Xander," Anya told him before bringing her lips on his for a passionate kiss as the sun cracked through the trees, warming their backs.

"So.. What now?" Angel asked Buffy, as they stood together in each other's arms in the mansion foyer.

"Breakfast?  There's no way I'll get back to sleep."

"Out of Poptarts."

"What?  You bought two boxes!"

"And I didn't eat them," Angel pointed out.  "Scrambled eggs?"

"Yeah, OK."

As they headed hand in hand to the kitchen, a loud knock on the door echoed.

"Damnit Xander," Buffy groaned, leaving Angel to answer the door.  She pulled it back again, expecting to see her friend.  "Oh."

"Hi."

"Who is it?" Angel asked, putting his hands in his pockets.  Buffy threw back the door to reveal Riley.  "Oh."

"Yeah Oh," Riley mocked.  He stepped inside the mansion and took a second to look around.  "Nice place," Riley commented.

"Thanks," Angel cleared his throat.

"What are you here for Riley?" Buffy asked in a low voice.

"Real estate agent pointed me this way for all the mansions to rent," Riley said saracastically.

"Willow and Xander were just here," Buffy told him, going over to the sofa and leaning on the back of it, nearer to Angel.

"I know.  I saw them across the street.  So you wanna explain to me what the Hell is going on here?" Riley bit his lip.

"I told you.  I've been staying here," Buffy said curtly.

"Why?"

"To.. Regroup," Buffy said weakly.

"Oh the special kind of regrouping where you need your vampire ex to help you with that."

"Yeah.  That kind.." Buffy said wistfully.

"You have to stop this Buffy.  Please.. Please stop it.." Riley pleaded, shaking his head.  "Stop measuring me up to him, reminding me I don't fit the mould.  I don't have fangs for one thing.."

"Riley.."

"I guess I should make it simple.  Him or me.  If you can't come to me when your hurt or embarassed then what are we even doing?  Turning to him instead of me.."

"You're giving me an ultimatium?" Buffy blinked.

"I can't keep doing this Buffy.  The back and forth.  The you love me but you're pining over him..  I can't Buffy.  Not anymore.  It hurts too much.." He finished quietly.

Buffy looked at Angel, asking him a thousand questions.  His pained expression answered none of them.

"Angel," she replied, without taking her eyes off him.  "It has to be Angel."  She turned back around to Riley.  "You gave me the choice.  I chose."

"OK," Riley nodded, feeling his eyes well up.  "OK.. At least I know, right?  Oh God what crappy 24 hours.. First my one of my friends kill himself and then.. I lose you.."

"I'm sorry," Buffy swallowed.

"I'm not," Angel said quietly.  Riley looked up immediately.

"What did you say?"  Angel just stared him down but Riley came at him again.  "What the Hell did you say?  Have you even got a Soul?"

"Yeah I have but I'm not too sure about your 'friends'.." Angel retorted.

"How dare you.  He's dead and you're.."

"Why did he kill himself?" Angel questioned immedaitely.  "Huh?  Find that out with your lab coats and your Initiative?  Why'd the boy kill himself?  Or maybe your other 'friend' Forrest knows something."

"Forrest?" Riley echoed.

"Yeah.  Forrest," Angel said dangerously.  Angel glanced at Buffy to see if she was begging him to stop.  She stared at Angel for a while before taking a deep breath.

"Riley.. Forrest he.. Forrest.. The other night Forrest.." She stuttered with difficulty.

"What?"

"Forget it.  Just go," Buffy said moodily.

Riley swallowed and straightened.  "Fine, I will.  Leave you two to play house."

With that he turned on his heel and walked bracely out of the mansion before slamming the door.

"You were going to tell him.. Why not?" Angel asked Buffy.  She shrugged and yawned.

"I'm not ready.  But for eggs, I'm ready."

"OK," Angel said, taking her hand and resuming the plans for breakfast.

Later on as the sun was setting Buffy was curled up in Angel's arms, as he read a book to her.  He paused for a minute or so once he reached the sixth chapter, setting the book down.

"I think I'm ready," Buffy said quietly.  "To face."

"OK.  Do you me to come?"

Buffy turned her head and touched her lips tenderly with his, savouring his taste.  "Always."

"We can turn back if you want," Angel reminded her as they made their way up the familar path.  Buffy interlocked her fingers with Angel's and shivered in the cold night's breeze.

"No.  I'm OK."

When they reached the door, Angel waited patiently for Buffy to knock.  After a few breaths, she reached forward and knocked on the hard wooden door.

"Oh God," she whimpered as she heard footsteps.

"I'll be here," Angel whispered.

The door opened and both of them stood on the threshold.

"Hi," Buffy tried to smile.
 

END OF PART FIVE