Here's a song by Nirvana. Search for it on the Net using your player's media guide. It's hilarious. The title is Ain't it a Shame (well, ain't it obvious?).

Ain't it a shame to go fishin on a Sunday
Ain't it a shame
Ain't it a shame to go fishin on a Sunday
Ain't it a shame
Ain't it a shame to go fishin on a Sunday
When you got Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday
Or Thursday, Friday, Saturday

Ain't it a shame
Ain't it a shame to have a drink on a Sunday
Ain't it a shame
Ain't it a shame to have a drink on a Sunday
Ain'y it a shame
Ain't it a shame to have a drink on Sunday
When you got Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday
Or Thursday, Friday, Saturday
Ain't it a shame

Ain't it a shame to beat your wife on a Sunday
Ain't it a shame
Ain't it a shame to beat your wife on a Sunday
Ain't it a shame
Ain't it a shame to beat your wife on Sunday
When you got Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday
Or Thursday, Friday, Saturday
Ain't it a shame
Ain't it shame
Ain't it
Ain't it Shame
Shame

denouement (pronouned 'duh-noh-mah')

the final resolution of the main complication of a literary or dramatic work

the outcome of a complex sequence of events

Months flicker but moments drag on. Ask me now why I look and feel miserable and I won't be able to answer you. This is the part where I'm supposed to say "It all started when..." but I can't. I DON'T KNOW WHY. One day you'll gonna see me bald and I still won't have a reason to give you. I think I'm posing a great danger to myself. Because I, I... I DON'T KNOW WHY. Maybe I'm living the end of my days. Perhaps perhaps perhaps.

	All housewives are desperate.
	   My mother is a good housewife.
	    Therefore my mother is desperate.

It's valid, sound, and downright logical. To those who dare contest the above syllogism, please tag at the right side of this blog site.

I have fulfilled my life-long dream, which is to destroy my mother's dream for me: to be a filthy rich lawyer (or anything that's filthy rich). Now, I'm just a humble writer/editor at a start-up IT company. Ahhh... I may not be able to afford a Boracay getaway but I am able to say "This is the life." Ma always says that she wrecked her life to bring me up, that she lost everything for me. What a perfect excuse for her nasty little life eh? I've always thought that everything that happens to a person's life is his own fault -- and I mean 'fault' in a good way -- a product of his deliberate action or inaction. We are all disappointed at me kicking myself out of law school, right? But that's the only way I can repay my mother's milk. The milk given to me out of obligation, out of shame. You see, I dedicated all of my life's achievements ever since I was little to her. Because I thought I owed her a lot. I loved her dearly... until I saw everything clearly. (Wow, that rhymed!) Every graduation day, she goes up the stage to put the medals around my neck which I got for being #1. She doesn't care how I looked (I was overweight and pimply, and she never cared to cover those ugly stuff; she was busy making herself up), as long as she looked gorgeous for everyone and every parent and guardian to see. I worked hard for all those sh!t. I never enjoyed my childhood -- and it's all my fault. When I graduated cum laude from UP Diliman, she was not contented and it showed. She made me cry at my college graduation day. The reason? "You could have done better." And so I cried tears of awful realization. She never said it verbally but that's what she meant (she said a lot of things, like "You were the only organization head who didn't get recognized;" "Your batch looks completely disorganized;" "I was looking for you! My head was spinning because you didn't listen, you!" and so on and on). At my university graduation day I let her be. I am already enlightened by that time. A span of one day can truly change your life; it changed mine. Now here comes law school. If I had ambition I would have gone through it smoothly. But I am not like the rest of them. I had an agenda. Hey, I'm not rationalizing my failure. Um, yes I am pala (hahaha). Anyway, I loved law school. It was the best thing that ever happened to me. UP College of Law is where they "teach law in a grand manner and make great lawyers" yet I blew my chance, my only opportunity at getting ahead. But I must admit, seeing Ma crumble because of that failure was like a touch of moonlight in a lonely night. I finally got back at her. I lived in guilt, and she, in suffering.

I was at my childhood home these past holy days from Wednesday to Saturday. The money I brought was just enough for my travel expenses. I haven't retrieved my meager salary (which a relative of mine kept pressing me to tell them the amount). And it was the reason why Inang ticked off. I can't tell you the whole story. It's pretty embarrassing. All I can say is that it was the blackest Saturday I ever had. I relieved my childhood nightmares. What's worse is what I felt was pity and not fear (for Inang's life). =c

Today is Wednesday. I am really sleepy, really really sleepy. And I am running out of ideas for work. Maybe I need to go to the wild to spark my creativity. You know, like what Lex Luthor (and our boss) said -- "think out of the box." The problem is, I am in a black box, where all light gets sucked. Ho-hum. Ho-hum. It's a sin to be idle. I am idle. Therefore I am committing a sin.

Remember the Levi's Engineered Jeans Freedom Camp I enthusiastically talked about last month? We went there, but we shied away because the venue was at the center of the mall. Bummer. It didn't look fun anyway. So, Luis and I went to Cavite instead (to deliver groceries). And there I met Bruno, probably the sweetest-looking pit bull I have ever petted. Err, he is the only pit bull I've petted. He is black and enormous. Kinda thin though. Sayang, I didn't bring my digital camera. Then we went back and watched Lucky Number Slevin at G4 after we ate at BK. It was an okay movie, nothing more nothing less. And my story ends there; I need to go back to idleness, I mean work. X-D Oh yeah, I forgot to mention: my cell phone isn't working. I think I short-circuited it. I am sooo bionic these days. My room's light bulb was just replaced because it kept flickering in my presence.