On the way to Tempus stairs I scratched my forearm on the door handle. It did not bleed (although I hoped it did). It left a very thin and rosy dashed line. After I timed in Ma'am Les had to talk to me outside. Fine. You know, some people don't know how to draw the line between a verbal attack and a joke. Maybe it's because when I'm the one who says it it always sounds like a sarcasm. Mwehehehehe. So there goes my early morning. The only thing that could make my Monday worse is if I catch a cold. Gabby is sick and Alex sniffs (he also happens to have a fresh wound on his forearm). Ahh.. the perks of being a vegetarian - as healthy as I could be. I haven't been absent at work. Speaking of making liban, Ma'am Les is going on Vacation Leave starting on Wednesday until the next Wednesday. Which leaves Alex and me in charge of coordinating with the other team because Gabby's out tomorrow till Wednesday. What a rip off. I was planning on spending time with my cousin Ate Ces - my favorite tagger - on Monday because she'll be arriving from Seattle on that day, October 3, at 10:30am. Anyhow. I'll find a way. Undertime I guess. All I want to have is a good first week. One with less office hours as possible.

'Pag di ka makatulog sa gabi may umiisip sa 'yo. In my case, not only can I not sleep, I also know who is - or are - thinking about me. Believe it or not. Don't worry, I don't get direct hits; I only get flashes: of events, of names, of bad memories even. One time, I woke up at dawn and I remembered this crush I had in grade school. I thought of him. Not of his good looks (and red lips in particular), just him. Days later when I checked my e-mail, there was a Friendster request from this guy! I don't know if I'm gonna be amazed... or freaked out. What gives me the creeps, though, is when it's broad daylight and I suddenly get uneasy for no apparent reason. Then it would turn out my Promil kid friend is thinking about contacting me, thru the phone that is. I got a bit used to that. And he doesn't call at the house that much anymore. Now, what I'm going to tell you has got to be kept sshhh. A secret between you and moi. It goes a little something like this. UP Fair 2005 - one week of music and all sorts of gimmick - one week of premonitions. On Feb 14th, I thought of something out of the blue: Kristyl visiting me. Less than an hour later, while I was doing yoga, Kristyl (accompanied by her kuya) showed up with roses for Ma. The next day, Tuesday (and this is where it gets ugly), I was walking at Philcoa and an idea suddenly popped into my huge head: what if I were being stalked. Just like that. I confirmed later that I was indeed being watched by (for reasons of anonymity, that bastard) a Warlock. I was seated at the right of the jeep's dulo on the way home when I saw the Warlock behind the tinted windshield smiling. Grrr. He followed me from the moment I boarded that jeep and it is impossible to mistake him for somebody else! Why? Because I know the Warlock! I know his plate number! ..you must come to court with clean hands.. The next day I got a vision again. And the day after that. Until Saturday. I do not know what's up with that week but the visions were as clear as dialog boxes popping up. They are not deja-vús e. Basta. All my other premonitions are usually just gut-feels. My latest was this early morning. I opened my eyes and wondered. I closed my eyes and tried to sleep again (for I get up at 7:30). But it's still there. The thought that somebody is thinking about me. I had a line of suspects. The guilty one was the girl who sent me a text message which I read at about 8am. Hay. These weird things... you get them too, don't you?

"Power struggles with bosses, parents and authority figures are extremely likely today ... Don't buy the T-shirt. Don't even drive by," said my horoscope yesterday (in PDI). Not that I believe it. But there was an event which supported that indeed. The colored printed copy of my book had my full name on the cover page first in the order of authors. Next to me (i.e., below my name) was E.K., a Greek professor at the University of London. Beside me (i.e., to the right of my name) was Jimmy [yeah right, like he's my friend that I can call by his nickname], the president of our company. Issue: whether or not I should be first in the billing. Real issue: who worked his/her ass out and deserves credit. The stats: out of 126 total pages, I wrote approximately 62 pages, E.K. approximately 32 pages, the excerpt pages and the excess lesson pages together with the language, technical, and series edits comprise approximately 22 pages, the front matter 7 pages, and the end matter or biblio 3 pages. You, my loyal reader, decide. Alrighty?

Party colored maniac, yes, but not a party animal. I can tell you that. Tipsy or not, nobody can make me do things I don't want to do (my mom's been working on this for years; I think any attempt at subordinating me is futile) - even if it's for "fun." I mean, dancing is okay, but dancing with someone I don't give a sh!t about no matter how old/young and harmless s/he may seem just won't do it for me. Trip-trip = no such thing. If you want real "tripping," you better give me a bottle of tequila baby! Don't forget those darn lemons, too! That's all I ask of you (Phantom tone)...

I forgot, I am anti-social. But watching Pacquiao fight - watching RPN9 together with nearly everybody else in this Republic - man! It feels great! A total knockout! And seeing humility in the eyes of our three boxers (Pacquiao, Viloria, and Bautista) made me realize what I'm missing: the pride of being a true Filipino. A true Filipino warrior.

There has to be something else for me to do, to see, to make, to be... I can't just work and stare at the computer on weekdays, sleep, read, and watch tv on weekends, and go to the mall once in a blue moon. I need an adventure - like what I had in law school last year! Today, I'm wearing the BarOps 2004 shirt in support of the UP bar examinees. My friend Lester from Baste told me, "ang pulubi ng UP College of Law *giggles*, ang konti ng dumalo sa BarOps." Bar Operations is where people flock to the De La Salle University where the exams are held (four Sundays in a row - or it is Saturdays, I forgot) and cheer for their consecutive schools' bar examinees. I wasn't able to join it when I was a freshie, but back then the turnout was good, there were lots of UP law-yalists w/ their banners and all (there were frat riots even!). Maybe it's too early to judge the number of those who went there. Anyway, the important thing is that UP College of Law bar examinees prevail in the end. ;)

My back hurts. This is bad. Just yesterday, I noticed that my shoulders are broader - they're actually wider by more than an inch per side! It's like I'm taking archery classes again.. that was in summer 2003. I developed a Russian archer's stance and a strong upper back. And the wide shoulders that came with handling the heavy bow. Now I think I got this Broadness from bad computer work habits. I'd really love to continue relating that experience but I have to sleep on the job now... as in now, on this desk. zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
  Or maybe not. Saya makipag-YM sa mga tao e... to Jon Limjap, KuhKuh, RJ... until Ma'am Lesley came. Hehehe joke lang. Of course, work is always my top priority (my only priority as of this moment).

I always like irritating Ma. It's my hobby. So today, early in the morning, after I walked the dog (to the uninformed, his name is Dollar), I ended the argument she started. Upon reaching her boiling point she resorted to her you-don't-believe-in-God attack, "Winala mo ang Diyos, blahbidiblah". Up to our last battle I thought she knew I am an agnostic (i.e., someone who cannot not believe NOR believe in God because of the metaphysical nature of the issue). Now it's clear she doesn't know the difference between an agnostic and an atheist. Or just denies there IS a difference. Sigh. But at the back of my head I was thinking, "Maybe she's right - maybe I am an atheist!" After pondering about it in the bath, I concluded, "Well, if it's a matter of faith and not reason (which it is), then I am an atheist because I don't believe in the personal God the Christians believe in." There, I said it. I am indeed an atheist. I don't believe that 'God' is 'the Father Almighty', 'creator of heaven and earth'. If there is any other idea of 'god' I would like to accept, it's the philosopher Baruch Spinoza's concept: 'Everything is one. And everything is God.'

What a Happy Birthday to my cousin. Can you believe that her dad's a doctor but his salary's just about the same as mine? And mine's not that much I tell you, being a humble writer at an IT company called techFactors Inc. Now he's thinking about a gimmick to alleviate their financial status - a lending program (how ironic!). What's he gonna get from that? He called Ma earlier and after an hour of chika he asked her for help. He told her that he already considered going abroad and working as a doctor there (at least not as a nurse, thank goodness) but then he doesn't have the money to spend as lagay to the recruiter (illegal I hope not) and he doesn't really wanna go anyway. So he is currently looking for el capital (read: pampuhunan). It's sad... the government can't help him (bad GMA bad!), I can't (yet)... Bottomline: my cousin's not having a birthday party today.