Every can of Spam has the ability to transform an incompotent moron (i.e. Dan Quayle) into an enlightened individual (i.e. Buddha). All those who have elevated their lives to perfection have used Spam as the stepping stone. It overwhelms the soul with a burning energy which sparks genius and an immediate realization of life and its meaning. When one reaches the climax of experiencing divine completeness with Spam, enlightenment is attained for eternity. It is perpetual bliss! I beg you to buy Spam (lots of Spam!) Ponder its divinity, study its perfection, and then peel back the lid to reveal ultimate wisdom! But don't stop there! Take out the heavenly slab and eat it slowly. Contemplate its rich taste and smooth texture, and become one with the Spam. It will be a memorable and glorious day, indeed! Spam's all-encompassing love will enrapture you forever, and you will have reached Oneness with this truly magnificent meat!