| No, YOU get away from ME!!!!! And anyway, if I really wanted to kill you you would be impaled upon a wedge of gouda right now� But you were abused as a child, right? I betcha it made you have all this pent-up rage and you�re just waiting to take it out on poor cynical Parmy. It�s YOU who�s watching me!!!!!!!!!!!! PARMY�S GOING TO KILL ME!!!!!!!! (sniff sniff) And we never even got a phone..or a 72 inch TV�.or 3 way calling for the phone we never got�.or 7 computers� Stop regretting all the things you never did! I never got to go to Disneyland. I only saw six of the seven Wonders of the World. I�ve never had thirty-seven shots of chocolate milk in one sitting. My life has been a total waste!!!!!!! How is it that we don�t even have a phone yet we have a TV studio in our basement. (momentarily pulling herself out of the void of self-pity) Don�t forget the heated Olympic-sized pool, the indoor tennis courts, basketball courts, food courts� Oh, and the movie theatre, the skating rink, the- I didn�t know we had ANY of that! You;ve been hiding all the good stuff from me!!!!!!!!! Why can�t I swim in the pool that I didn�t know we had, or play tennis and basketball in the indoor courts, or eat any GOOD food from the food courts, or watch free movies instead of paying when we went to say LOTR2�.sniff sniff�anyways, the popcorn said someone was watching BOTH of us� That means that it can�t be you� Even more momentous, Cheez was actually insightful!? AH!!!!!!! WE�RE ALL GOING TO DIE!!!!!! Yes, but that�s beside the point. This gives us a chance to be super paranoid. Like Fox Mulder. You know, the truth is out there� We can star in the cheeZ files. And we�ll make millions of dollars. And get more stuff to hide from Cheez� (Runs up and shoves her face in the camera) IT�S YOU ISN�T IT!!!!! NO, IT�S YOU!!!!!! AHH THEY�RE ALL OUT TO GET ME!!!!!!!!! Suddenly a man with a snake tattoo comes up behind Parmy and Cheez and smashes their heads together. They collapse. Then he runs off. ( Raising her head slightly off the ground) We�ll see you in the next episode of Parmy and Cheez�(her head falls back to the ground) Don�t worry. As we see from previous episodes, our stars will soon recover, suffering a loss of only a few brain cells. Oh, and the popcorn can be hired to reenact movie scenes at parties. It�s great entertainment. And they will be getting their own show coming this fall� The Popcorn Show. Oh, and for all you people who don�t know the Hobo Joe Song, it will be in the Parmy and Cheez section. And soon to come is a sort of autobiography, Behind the Typing: A look at the real Parmy and Cheez. Stay tooned. |
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