| To Popcorn and Back Again Parmy (typed by Megan) Cheez (typed by Amanda) Popcorn, usually Poppo Kernel (typed by whomever feels like they�re not in Kansas anymore) Producer (typed by whoever feels like it) Good morning, Canada! I am Parmy and this is my faithful compadre, Cheez. This time we are going to talk to you about popcorn. Popcorn gooood.? I like popcorn. Whats that Mr. Popcorn? You want me to eat you, well if you say so (eats popcorn) AH!!!! THE EVIL POPCORN THREW A KERNEL AT ME AND IT GOT STUCK IN MY EYE!!!!! AH!!! (Hops around, trying to get kernel out of her eye) Hey, for all you people who have stuck with us all this time� You know, all you folks who read the first one. Well, we all remember the time that Cheez and I um, debated, that�s right, debated about the use of sticks in food. I personally think that Cheez has a stick in her head right now. (As you may have guessed, Parmy is not on Valium anymore and is back to her usual cynical self) MUST GET IT OUT!!!! AHH!!!! (Leaves room and comes back wearing safety goggles) Now nothing else will get in my eye! AH!!! I FORGOT TO GET THE KERNEL OUT!!! GAH!!! (Tries to take the safety goggles off but then remembers that she glued them to her face so that NOTHING could get in) NO!!!! You really are an idiot. Well, anyway, it�s time to get down to business. This is a review about popcorn. I remember when I was a kid, making strings of popcorn� Oh well, no one wants to hear about my weird childhood. So, popcorn. As Cheez so eloquently put it, �Popcorn gooood.?� Yeah. Hey, what happened, Cheez? Well you see, I was saying �Popcorn gooood ?� then Mr. Popcorn told me I had to eat him so of course I had no choice but to eat him and then he threw a kernel at my eye so I went AHHHHH!!!! And then I went and got safety goggles so that nothing else could get into my eye but I forgot to get the kernel out and then- No, I�m talking about the kernel in your ear. I�VE GOT A KERNEL IN MY EAR!!!!! NOOOO!!!!! DEATH TO POPCORN!!!- I thought that popcorn was �gooood.?� Blinks �DEATH TO POPCORN!!!! THE ONLY WAY TO DESTROY IS TO EAT IT ALL!!!! Ok, heres the plan, Parmy you sneak up on it from behind and I�ll distract it by waving my arms ok? Yeah, right, Cheez. And then you should say �There�s no place like home� three times. It�s not possible to �sneak up� on a piece of popcorn in someone�s eye. But you go on thinking that� (Ignoring the last part of Parmy�s little �speech�) Great idea!!! I�ll go get some red slippers to go with that!!!! (Leaves and comes back five minutes later holding up a pair of red rain boots) These were the best that I could find, do you think that they�ll work? (Looks at cameraman and winks) Oh, I�m sure it will work, Cheez. But you should say it a hundred times instead of three. Then it will really work. (To camaraman) This will get her out of the way for a while. Ok, should I click my heels 100 times also? Of course. It wouldn�t work otherwise. So- (starts reapeating there�s no place like home 100 times) Hey! Doesn�t that make Mr. Popcorn dude go home? What if he made his home in my eye! AAH!!!!!!!!!! (popcorn springs out of Cheez�s eye and ear, somehow chipping away the glue holding the goggles to her face) Thank you, human. It is good to see that there are still those faithful to the Order of Oz. Oz� As in the Wizard of? What do you have to do with the Wizard of Oz? Hehehe�.I know who that is! Isn�t the Wizard of Oz that guy down the street!? No, Cheez. That�s a hobo. Hobo Jo to be exact. His brother lives with him� Hobo Moe. Anyhoo� Answer my questions popcorn. (slightly larger piece of popcorn with a billowing blue cape made out of tooth floss hops forward) I am Poppo Kernel the fifty sixth, ruler of the Kingdom of Popo Cornia. My great-great-great- (an hour later) great grandfather worked on the set of the Wizard of Oz. In fact, he was the first piece of popcorn that the revered Judy Garland ate. (all popcorn reaches to the sky and chant �Judy Garland�� odd considering they don�t have arms.) And we�re avid movie fans. (Dances around in a circle singing the �Hobo Joe Song�) Stop that! (turns to popcorn, laying down on the ground so she�s a little closer to the king�s height) I am the great and all-powerful Parmy, empress of all things food. And this is Cheez, the, um� Queen of� Cheese (which works really well on popcorn by the way.) Bow down before your goddesses�um, yeah. (the popcorn bows� I think. It�s pretty hard to tell.) You have offered us hope and security; a beacon in this dark world. You deserve to know that you are being watched. There is someone plotting to kill you. (They leave, making a human, er, popcorn pyramid to reach the door handle) Oh�they�re gone�.I�ll miss them�can we make another bag of popcorn!? No, Cheez. We�re fresh out of popcorn. We only had one for the entire episode. You ate the rest when we saw LOTR: TTT (Lord of the Rings 2: The Two Towers). You snuck it into the theatre. I�m more concerned about what the popcorn told us. That someone is out to kill us� (Obviously not yet concerned about the popcorns message) I snuck it into the theatre? You said that I bought it at the theatre�WHERE�D ALL MY MONEY GO THEN!!! Oh wait�I have never had any money�. It�s amazing that anyone would want to kill you� besides me. Cheez, do you have some sort of deep dark secret? One that�s haunted you since you witnessed your mother�s murder? My mommy wasn�t murdered�she�s living in Kansas right now�. Wasn�t it your mommy that was murdered? My father was killed by my mother. But that only made me cynical and a food critic. Oh, and left me scarred for life. You know, same old, same old� It�s YOU isn�t it! You just said. �It�s amazing that anyone would want to kill you�besides me� AH!!!!!!!! GET AWAY FROM ME!!! |