VIII. “A Blatant Revolution”Warmth. Something was next to me, something enveloping me. Shifted a bit. An arm? Clenched eyes shut at memories. The pillow was still over my head, if it was Ryan, he would have smothered me by now. Ryan...he didn’t even have a key that would work in the lock. Then who was...?
I moved the pillow a bit and peered out. It was still dark out, so I couldn’t have been sleeping long. Light streaked in through the windows and vivisected itself in the spikes of some dark creature. Paige. Faint memories from last night. Paige heard me and came back, he soothed me to sleep, he stayed with me and held me when the next nightmare came. And he was still here now.
His lips entranced me, I felt like I had never looked at them before. They were slightly parted as he breathed softly, it seemed like if I just focused on them nothing else would matter. That wasn’t enough to stop the visions of her that swirled on the windows. I closed my eyes and turned to completely face Paige. His grip around me tightened, but it wasn’t the same kind as when Ryan... Closed my eyes and breathed deeply. Don’t think about Ryan. It was like I had lost a tooth and my tongue kept on being drawn to the hole, prodding at the pain until it overflowed.
I just existed for a while.
Paige stirred, his eyes flickering underneath the lids. They opened slowly, the pupils widening to allow extra light in. It seemed like he wasn’t really looking at me, but through me. What would he see? Felt so important to let him see all of me.I feigned sleep and inched my hand so that it touched his chest. He examined my face carefully, trying to determine if I actually was sleeping Finally he just smiled a bit and closed his eyes again. I moved my hand slowly up his chest. His breath hitched and his eyes shot open again. Mine shut. His hand covered mine and he gently put it on the bed beside us, then got up and left the room.
Her face in the window was triumphant. Mine in the bed was immobile.
For some reason I really wanted to see him, touch him, taste him. I found myself staring at him, enchanted by his face, his eyes, his lips... Wondered how they would feel against my own. Flashes of memory, but Paige’s lips were nothing like Ryan’s. Ryan’s were like two slabs of flesh that seemed to have a thing for assaulting me.“Jay, what are you looking at?” he finally asked. “You’ve been staring at me for five minutes.”
Instantly looked back down at the glass of orange juice. “N..nothing.” Why was I acting so childish? I had been the one who started it with Ryan, I had been the one to seduce him, I had been on top once. Surely there was no difference here. Except I felt that I didn’t really know Paige, even though we were practically best friends. I hadn’t known Ryan. “Thank you.” I whispered.
He looked up from his plate. “Jay...” his voice trailed off. “You’re welcome.” Tension bound us together, who would set us free first?
“You’re...” Swallowed deeply. “You’re not like Ryan, right?” Bowed my head. Not how I wanted to phrase it, but it would do. His face held no expression.
He pushed his chair away from the table and walked over. Next thing I knew, we were kissing and I abandoned myself to the feeling of lips, tongue, body. His lips were so soft, Ryan’s had always been smeared with lipstick to cover up the fact that they were very dry. His tongue didn’t smother mine, I could actually breathe. Moaned in spite of myself. It had been so long.
He rested his forehead against mine and smiled with his eyes closed. Then he stood up and walked away.
My face stared back at me from the glass. Lips swollen from the excitement, eyes half-closed. Her face carved mine in two and she blew kisses at me. I smiled back. So what if I was going crazy? Paige had kissed me.
I tried to look at her and figure out what made her different. She had breasts, she was shorter, but she had my face, she knew my secrets, she whispered them to me at night during the nightmares. Touched her form and she pretended that it tickled. The masks on her belt jingled together, why could I hear that and not her voice? My skin was so cold, it felt like I was dead.Paige picked up the glass and gave it a cursory glance. “Is it dirty or something?”
Shook my head. “She was there.” I whispered. “She’s all over the room.” Saw her in every reflective surface, sneering at me, baring her breasts, licking her lips.
He sighed. “Jay, you have to try and put that behind you. She’ll never go away if you keep on like this.”
“It’s not my choice Paige. She’s following me.”
“Well, she has a reason to...Ryan...” he muttered to himself.
“Please, just don’t talk about her. Then she makes the dreams worse.”
He reached out and touched my face with one hand. I leaned into it. It was so warm, I started to feel my skin again. Everything was hyper- sensitive. Turned my head and faced him. Wanted so desperately to savor him again, to feel that momentary pleasure that filled my ice body with heat.
Ice was drawn to heat as I leaned forward, our lips met and we were soon making out like death was looming over our shoulders. Wanted him so bad. Never wanted Ryan. Hands ran over fabric, tongues over teeth, moaning mass of opposites.
He gently pushed me down on my back. Warm fingers tore my shirt away, wet tongue drowning my nipples and making me so goddamn hard. My legs sought out his back, trying to pull him down to meet me. “Fuck me”, my entire body said, oozing need and want. I licked his nose, latched onto his mouth, and started rubbing against him. Groans, hurried movements, wanted him so bad, it had to be better. The whole time I was painfully aware of her watching, one hand on her chin.
Soon we were naked, Paige was thrusting in me, it was so different from Ryan, I kept my eyes open so that I wouldn’t have any chance to see Ryan on top of me. My senses were overwhelmed, it seemed like it had been so long since I had ever felt so good. I wanted this more than anything. Our mouths clashed, our tongues twined, I kept on pulling him down to meet me. I didn’t want to be alone again.
As I neared my climax, I saw her form in the glass. Her face was peeling, chunks of skin came off in her hands. She looked down at her feet and then up at me again. Her face was Ryan’s. And I knew the curse had passed.
Then I screamed as I orgasmed.
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