DESIDERATUMYou sit there, looking pretty and polished as usual, lap dog to our band-mates. Right now you’re fawning over Paige, who doesn’t really deserve it. Last night it was Amir who made you scream, before that Ryan ran his fingers over your flesh and beat you until there wasn’t enough makeup in the world to disguise the bruises that crushed you. Now you’re leaning your head on Paige’s shoulder and whining about how your glass is always empty. You’re supposed to be the strong one, the one that keeps us together. You seem to have taken that literally, thinking that being a fuck-toy is the same as being a friend.
Paige usually has no objections to taking advantage of you. It seems no one thinks that it’s odd that you want to be with everyone and yet no one all at once. However, tonight he is pushing you away. Your eyes turn to me.
For once, I have no objections.
It seems odd that while I am the last on your list of friends to have fuck you, you still treat me better than all of them. Do you have some reservations about corrupting me like this? Don’t have them. I am able to make decisions for myself, and one of them is that you would look so nice underneath me, twisting and squirming for some release. One would expect that you would want to be a top, dominant, but you live to have people screw around with you, make them overcome all their reservations and slam you to the ground. That’s why you’re so insufferable. Didn’t someone once say that the one on the bottom really has all the power? With you, it’s true.
“Bobby...could you please take me back to the hotel?!” you whine. “Paige is being mean.”
“You mean he wouldn’t fuck you this time.” I say, watching your face redden. You would like to pretend that no one else knows that you constantly bed hop. It is a pretension that I am all too willing to destroy.
“That too.” you say after a moment. Cigarette constantly in hand, smoke billowing about your face, you could have whoever you want in the room at the moment. Except, of course, for the fact that you let Paige choose your clothes, Ryan cut your hair, and Amir do your makeup. You are mis-matched and pieced together, a slave to the band that you are desperately trying to keep together. That, and you just like getting fucked, and since you have three people around you willing to do it...well, so much the better.
“Then why bother me? Amir’s over there.” I say, pointing to Amir who has his hand shoved deeply into Ryan’s pants and his tongue thrust intensely into Ryan’s mouth. You eye me sadly and shake your head.
“Tonight I want you.” you whisper.
Outside it’s cold and there is snow on the ground. There is a woods a little bit back behind the bar...I think it is the perfect place to let you submit. Again, you just stand by the door to the bar and smile knowingly, pretending that you know exactly what I want to do. Perhaps you won’t get all of the power tonight. Would that really crush you?There is a nagging thought in the back of my mind that perhaps this is wrong, maybe I’m cheating on my wife...but I only plan for it to happen once. It is only to satisfy my curiosity. You probably feel some guilt as well, but you cover it up with your bravado and say nothing when I take your arm and lead you into the woods.
Some light snow is falling in tendrils of white water, it catches in the limbs of the trees and snaps boughs with its weight. You are staring at me as if you cannot fathom why I am taking you out here. Did you think that one could only have sex in a warm room? It isn’t like you haven’t done it on a picnic table in a park, in an alley behind a cheap restaurant, and almost every public place that Ryan drags you to. Finally find a small clearing far enough away from the bar that regulars coming out won’t be able to see us.
“Why are we out here?” you ask after a long pause. I grab your face and pull you down to meet my lips with your own. Want to rip you to pieces and eat you alive. Start to trace your lips with my tongue, forcing entrance as you gradually relent. Your tongue is still coated with a lingering trace of vodka, I erase that, getting down to the true taste of you. Run my fingers up under your shirt and feel how your nipples have already hardened and chilled in the air. You should suggest to Paige that he find some warmer shirts for you. Then again, you probably didn’t think you were going to get taken in the woods.
Tug your shirt up and let my mouth surround your right nipple, bathing it in brief warmth. Feel you shudder underneath my tongue, a small moan escapes your lips. Push you up against a tree, the better to brace you for when all the rest comes off. “Y...you like it like this?” Your teeth chatter.
In truth, I am freezing too. “Of course. We’re going to get warmer, aren’t we?” I ask, smiling evilly up at you. Finally you catch on and your hands go to my shirt, trying to ask me to share in this ice of desire. I pull away and strip off your shirt, tossing it to land in a bank of snow. A full out moan traverses your throat and your hands leave my back and cross over your chest. “You’re not too cold, are you?”
You desperately shake your head, my hand cups your cock, it is getting hard despite the cold. Then again, it isn’t out in the air. It’s not really all that cold, I reflect silently, the snow is melting on the trees, dripping off in lines of happily freed water.
“Please Bobby, just do something.” You stutter. It’s such a refreshing change from your almost melodic voice. How could I refuse that? I pull the zipper down on your pants, not surprised in the slightest that you aren’t wearing underwear, when exactly did you give that up? Plant a kiss on the head of your cock. The groan you give off seems to echo in this tree enclosed area. I smile to myself. This is going to be easier than I thought. Pull off your pants completely, push you down into the snow. Your hard-on leaves almost immediately and you grab hold of me. “What, you don’t like that?” I simper.
“Just fuck me.” a snarl. Ooh, finally, something that isn’t just blind acquiescence. You’re actually frowning at me. Such a pleasant change from just smiling and grinning at everyone, playing the cheerful diva but not really meaning it.
Because it is so odd, I strip quickly. You watch me slowly, eyes crawling back up to my face. I bend down and lick at your cock. Now it begins to get hard, now your eyes start to close. My tongue leaves your skin and I pull back. The snow starts to melt underneath my feet, but I hardly notice. My only concern is making this last as long as possible. You are turning even paler than your normal hue and your tattoos stand out stark against your skin. Teeth chattering even though you want to beg for release.
“Are you sure you want it? Maybe we should just go back inside.” Another, more intense growl and you have shoved yourself up on one elbow, pulling my face down to yours. You bite down on my bottom lip then surround my neck with your arm and kiss me roughly, trying to equalize your passion with the cold.
I catch your tongue between my teeth for a moment, savoring the bright tang of metal as you try to break away. Tear away from your mouth and concentrate on your neck, gnawing on it, distracting you from the fact that I have parted your legs. Your skin is mottled with goose-bumps and you shiver compulsively. That will change.
Your back arches into me as I slide one finger inside. From the amount of times that you have been with Ryan, I know that you don’t need or want any lube, so you aren’t getting any. Brown is covered by white eyeshadow covered eyelids, then your mouth opens to let loose a guttural moan. I prod experimentally at that spot, enjoying how you twist and breathlessly beg for more. Two fingers join one, soon you are clawing at my back, ignoring the snow underneath, the snow that is melting around you. All you can think of is me inside you, and that is all I feel that I should give you.
Withdraw my fingers. Listen to you whimper blindly for a moment, whispered curses cross your lips which are swollen with lust and my assaults. I can barely control myself, somehow convincing myself that you deserve this, that taking you like this is the sum of your life, the apex of your existence. My cock disobeys me and buries itself deep inside you in one violent thrust.
Screams fill the woods, mine and yours. You are tighter than I would have guessed. Inner muscles clamp around me, perhaps you weren’t ready? I just let myself fill you, nibbling at your ears to try and get you to relax. It works, after a fashion, because you start mumbling my name, pushing yourself against me in a vain effort to get me to start to thrust. Your eyes open slightly and all I can see in their depths is a vague consent to anything that I could want to do to you. Unfortunately, I can’t disconnect myself from my emotions and feelings. Pity fills my veins. Thrust once, twice, then lose myself in you, the warmth that somehow has replaced the cold outside. Nothing exists outside of the white that remains in my eyes as an aftereffect from the snow and the feeling of you around me. I can barely keep myself in check. I don’t want this to end too soon.
It has to. My fingers clench around your cock tightly, pulling you off. Feel the shudder as you come...then it is my own body’s turn to betray me and I fill you violently. We lay together for a moment, breathing deeply and feeling the snow gradually creep up to freeze all. It can’t be denied. I get dressed quickly, help you with your clothes, brushing off the worst of the snow. Your lips are blue, mine probably are as well, but we both grin at each other secretively. Your eyes still retain a bit of that anger from earlier, will you growl at Ryan now and tell him to fuck off? Will you shove Amir away when he begs you to suck him off? Will you even leave Paige alone?
That is my gift to you. It isn’t clothing, a hairstyle, or makeup, but it is something that cannot be given away.