XIV.
I kissed the scar on his shoulder, remembering how it once seemed like we could never be together, how the entire world weighed on our minds and tortured our bodies. Now it was quiet, calm. The only sound was his breathing, inhale, exhale. Well, that, and the rabbits snuffling around in their hutch in the backyard. The sun drifted in through small holes in the thatch, spilling down over us. Small fragments of dust or particles of straw floated in the stagnant air. We should have been up hours ago, harvesting the wheat. But it seemed like this was more important, just lying here and watching him sleep.The mark was pale now...almost pure white against his skin. Mine had faded as well, though not as much. My finger traced it softly, feeling the small hairs on his neck raise and goose-bumps form. He moved slightly, his lips parting a bit. It no longer seemed enough to just watch him. Leaned over his lips and gently touched them with my own. Let my tongue venture briefly inside, painting over him. He stirred slightly, eyes opening. I pulled back and grinned at him. He smiled back, a true smile, not one born of pain and suffering, but one brought on by true love. His mouth opened a bit, I heard the briefest whisper of a word. Covered his lips with my finger. There would be no words this morning.
Then he noticed that the sun had risen and glanced at me questioningly. �The wheat can wait a few more minutes, can�t it?� I murmured, trailing my fingers down his chest. He nodded.
�But Bobby can�t.� he whispered after a few more seconds of languor.
�Come on, wake up!� I said gently, shaking her shoulder. Lilka stirred and made a half-hearted effort to wake up, but she ended up just lying there and staring at me. �You�ve already gotten to sleep in, we need to get out there and help with the harvest!��I�m getting up.� she said, grumbling as she rolled out of her bed. I sighed and stoked the fire, watching as sparks hit the ground and hissed as they died. Jay stumbled into the room a few minutes later, adjusting his wimple.
Thought back to those days after Lord Ryan had stabbed Jay, how we had to wait for a week to see if Jay could travel. Arthur heard that Lilka�s parents had died, leaving her alone in the world. After a hurried discussion between Jay and I, we decided to take her along. It wasn�t exactly a decision that I felt that I could regret, since she had never really been a burden. We tagged along on Arthur�s trading run until we reached the last village, where we felt it would be nice to settle. Bobby found a nice girl there and married her, soon adjusting to communal life. Jay and I, posing as an already married couple, built a hut on the outskirts of the village, taking up the role that he had filled when times were simpler and brands were cool. Lilka had to pretend to be our daughter, which wasn�t all that hard because she sort of was tall like Jay and stocky like me.
Bobby poked his head in through the blanket that covered the door. �Are you guys planning on helping anytime soon?�
�Just give us a few more minutes and we�ll be out there, okay?� I said. He sighed.
�It�s your funeral. You know there�s only a few more good days until there�s a rain and it all rots.�
�I said we were coming.� Bobby nodded and trotted back to the fields. Lilka yawned and jumped out of bed, pulling on her gown and padding over towards the assorted tools that lay in a jumbled pile over by the door.
�The sooner we get it done, the sooner I can go back to bed.� she mumbled to herself.
Jay nodded in agreement and gently pulled on my shoulder. �The fire can wait, can�t it? I have a feeling that if we don�t get out there soon, our share is going to be the one full of grubs.�
�I suppose it can wait until later.� I admitted and followed him outside, after picking up the necessary tools.
The whole village had turned out to farm their communal field. Since there was no lord overseeing it, it all depended on the village elders as to who got what lot and who was the object of derision for the day, or week, depending on the offense. Lilka ran up ahead in a rush to prove that she was still a hard worker, even if her parents weren�t. I heard her whisper to her friends that I hadn�t woken her up on time. Shrugged. I didn�t mind bearing the mantle of responsibility for a little bit. Jay trailed along behind me, playing the part of a dutiful wife. No one had ever expressed any doubt, well, that I could hear, about him. I�m sure he grew tired of constantly playing the woman and having to go to their inane little spinning circles and so forth, but when faced with the alternative of perhaps being burned at the stake, he was more than willing to bear it. We were probably being too careful.The sun was high in the sky by the time that we actually started helping out. I noted the glances of disappointment coming from some of the villagers, and vowed to work even harder. As the day progressed, it got hotter and hotter. Some of the women, with chagrin, gave in and took off their wimples, revealing little buns of sweat bound up at the back of their heads, napes exposed and soon burning. Men who normally would not look at anything except their own wife suddenly found an expanse of things that they were not supposed, in an ideal world, to see.
Jay kept his on, keeping his attention focused on the work. That was a mistake. I was down a few rows, working on my own section, when I noticed one of the older women of the village going up to him. �Dear, you�ll get sick if you keep this on.� she said, tugging on the end of his wimple.
�I�m fine. I can manage.� he said respectfully, because, after all, she was married to one of the village elders.
�Nonsense, come on, off with it!� Then with one final tug it came off. And Jay, with his short hair, was revealed. A few people noticed and called out to their friends, everyone started to gawk. He stood and closed his eyes, bearing the indignity. I immediately ran over, pushing him behind me. �What�s wrong with her?�
�Nothing. She had a fever a while ago and we had to cut it off. It hasn�t grown back.� I explained. Jay was trying to shrink behind me, but it wasn�t working because people had come up behind us, forming a small circle.
Watched as the village elders exchanged glances. Heard them whispering, �Well, remember old Rosalind? They had to chop her hair off too when she had the sweating sickness. Poor old thing.�
The old woman who had outed Jay came back and handed him his wimple. �I�m sorry, I didn�t know.� I watched in shock as she went behind me and hugged him. Everyone smiled then, and I knew that Jay could go without a wimple and not be reviled for being different.
We worked for the rest of the day in harmony with everyone else, goofing off and in general acting less serious than we had been. The day had to come to an end though, and soon the sun started to set. Gathered up our tools and made ready to go. Jay went and retrieved Lilka from her little circle of friends, all old enough to know what lust was, but not nearly old enough to marry. She skipped along in front, telling little gossipy stories about the other children�s families, like whose husband was sowing wild oats and which families� sheep looked to have the mange. Jay listened politely, only occasionally interjecting little bits of corroborating evidence from his spinning circle. I had nothing to say, the men nearly always talked about the harvest or hunting. The only thing I could possibly have said was that Johnson�s wife was a goer, but I didn�t think that was something that Lilka needed to hear. So I listened in silence.At home we dumped the tools down in the pile and I took the cover off of the stew that had been simmering all day. Yesterday Jay had gone out to the woods and snared a nice rabbit, sparing the ones in the hutch from death sentences. He was accepting of my little quirks, and I accepted the silences that he loved to descend into at a moment�s notice. Lilka took up the slack though, so things were rarely absolutely quiet.
We ate dinner quickly, mindful of the fact that tomorrow we would have to get up earlier than everyone else in order to make up for our laziness today. Lilka went right back to her bed after dinner, muttering dark comments to herself.
After a while, it became obvious that she was asleep. Jay looked at me silently, nodding his head towards the door. The woods beckoned.
It was dark, only a few small stars lit the path we had gradually carved into the forest with our midnight wanderings. Tree branches just barely brushed the top of Jay�s head, once the wimple had been removed it stayed removed. Sweat had driven some strands up into spikes. I must have been staring because he turned and beckoned. I ran to catch up.There was a clearing a little bit beyond our hut where all our meaningful interactions took place. Most of the time it was sex, because both of us knew that if we ever did anything like that in the hut, Lilka would know that Jay was a man, and, being the little chatter-box she was, she�d tell everyone. Sometimes it was just talking about things, like going back to the village and seeing how my father was doing, making plans for things we knew we�d never do, such as visiting Arthur.
Today it seemed like Jay just wanted to sit. And that was fine with me. My back ached from the harvest and all I really wanted to do was sleep. We had salvaged a rotting log from underneath a pile of leaves to serve as a sort of bench when we came out here. It wasn�t comfortable, but, then again, so little was.
I laid my head on his shoulder and sighed, closing my eyes. He just let me, not saying anything or revealing why he wanted to go out here. Squinted my eyes open. A tear was running down his cheek. �What�s wrong?� I asked, pulling back.
A cursory glance, a small glimmer of happiness. �They didn�t mind.� he whispered. �They didn�t care that I was different.�
�Yeah, I know.� I said, still not fully understanding it.
He nuzzled his lips against my neck. �Besides you and Bobby, nobody�s really done that before.�
I smiled to myself and put my arm around him. We stayed like that for what seemed like an eternity.
And perhaps the moon rose and grey hairs replaced what had once been brown. Maybe his fingers turned gnarled, maybe I couldn�t carry as much as I used to. But still, whenever I saw him outlined by the light of the full moon, still I saw his bat wings. And when I reached back, I felt my butterfly ones. Perhaps the whole world saw us standing there, arms around each other. Perhaps the whole world saw two demons corrupting the youth of the land, two unnatural creatures, our fiery marks shining accusingly out from our necks. Perhaps the whole world saw only something to deny and throw out, to accuse and destroy. Perhaps the whole world was waiting with bated breath for our departure. But all there truly was were two angels, their aureoles burning brightly into the night, their souls preserved for all eternity.
END
A/N: This chapter was written for Lydia.