Chapter 32: Off With Their Heads!

"Are we supposed to sleep in here?" Sakay (or possibly Hush) wrinkled his (or her) nose at bars, scratching a bit of rust off the iron,” I mean honestly, Hush, they haven't even given us a bed!" "Sure then have, Sakay, there's that...straw filled...thing, there,” he (or she) frowned at, poking the moth eaten cloth hesitantly. McKale gave a little sigh and buried his head in his hands,” Doesn’t bally well matter if we have a bed or not, it'll be off with our heads tomorrow,” he sat back, rubbing his eyes,” Can’t bloody well sleep anyway, what?" "No,” Hush shook his (or her) head,” I suppose not, aye Sakay?" "Not a wink, Hush." The twins expelled a little sigh and trotted up to McKale's side, planting their little white heads in his lap,” We’re sorry, love." "Shouldn't have sent you off here." "No, no, no need to apologize, old things,"McKale shook his head, twining his fingers in the little feather floofs along their necks,” It’s me who's sorry. I'm an awful bond, aren't I? You haven't even been alive a day and here I've gone and got us all signed up for bally execution!" "S'alright, love..." "...I'm sure we'll find a way of here." "But just in case we don’t,” said one twin, sitting up and placing her (or his) forepaws on McKale's knee. He was grinning. "What's with this Jeffrey chap of yours, hm?" concluded the other, copying his (or her) siblings. "It doesn't bally well matter what's with Jeffrey, does it? We've broken the watch and he's still in the hospital,” he frowned,” He’s not going to be able to get me out of this rummy sitch." "Oh, we don't want to hear about what he'd do." "We want to know why you're jealous of, what's the purple chap's name, Sakay?" "Sh- something." "..." Snrk "Shar,"said McKale,"And I thought I already answered that! I've never had to share him before, I don't bally well have to start now! You know how it is when you have...say...a favorite toy or summat, then your baby cousin comes along and Mum orders you to share. And you really don't want to, because it's your absolute favorite toy, but you know you can't so no because then Mum'd spank you, and that would be even worse?" "No,” said Hush. "We don't have any cousins,” said Sakay." "At least we don't think we do." "And Mum wouldn't spank us." "She's not here." "But we understand..." "...theoretically, of course." "But isn't a bit odd, thinking of your butler like a favorite toy?" "Dashed odd, really, don't you think, Sakay?" "Oh, quite, Hush." McKale pursed his lips a little,” It’s a metaphor!" "Ah,"said the twins, nodding their heads in unison. "Don't you think it’s awful odd metaphorically thinking of your butler as a favorite toy?" "I do." "Oh yes, most certainly." "I don't!" said McKale,"It's just...oh...I don't know...it's dashed hard to explain, what?" "Is it?" "We wouldn't know." "We've never had to explain anything before." "But if you say so..." McKale's lips quirked upward and he gave a little chuckle,” You two are absolutely horrid!" "We like being difficult,” said Sakay. "It's the only way we'd ever get what we want,” said Hush. Silence descended, and despite their previously mentioned inability to get to sleep, McKale found himself laying lengthwise on the tiny, uncomfortable cot, with Hush and Sakay snuggled against his chest for warmth. Just as the sandman seemed to reach them, scattering his little grains over their eyes, he heard a teeny, tiny voice pipe up from the vicinity of his ribs. "We think you like him, you know." "That Jeffrey chap." "Romantically." McKale shot upward in a sit,” What?! But...that's...that's completely absurd! He's been my butler for a dashed long time, and I've never so much as-" "You were clinging to him in the ship." "I don't like space travel!" "And you're terribly jealous of Shar." "Jeffrey's mine, I don't want to share him!" "And you think about him an awful lot." "I'm scared...Jeffrey usually gets me out of mishaps like this...well, not quite like this, but..." "And he likes you." "Yes, well...I've never approved of his...affections." "Why haven't you sacked him, then?" "Mighty suspicious, if you ask me, Sakay." "I agree, Hush, I agree." "I- He's a good butler!" But Sakay and Hush didn't say anything else. They curled around each other and clamped their eyes shut, emmiting little snores. McKale rolled his eyes and flopped back down beside them, shuffling them closer to him. "You're rummy little cretins, I hope you know." .:Don't worry, love, we do:. .:.:.::.:.:. "All right, thief, time t' get up," something rattled against his bars,” The k- prince has got ye down for hangin' today." McKale gave a little groan and rolled over,"S'too early, Jeffrey. What's for breakfast?" "Yer parrots' heads on a stake, if ye don't get up!" McKale's face scrunched up. Parrots on stake? "Jeffrey that sounds absolutely horrid- oh." McKale cracked open his eyes and rolled onto his side. The guard was standing at the cell door, waving a set of keys in his hand,” Welcome t' the land o' the livin' theif,"the guard gave a little chuckle and unlocked the door,"Fer a few hours, at least." "Oh, dash it all, that's right,” yawning, McKale slowly pushed himself up to his feet and reach down to gently shake Sakay and Hush awake. They did so reluctantly, sleepily crawling into McKale's arms and snuggling against his neck like little, purring kittens. The guard reached into the cell and yanked McKale out, keeping a grip on his upper arm as he relocked the cell. Once that was finished with he proceeded to push McKale up the dungeon stairs and into the light, leading him down the hall to the Prince's throne room. It was looking much more red than it had the night before, and strewn about every conceivable corner were servants, scrubbing at the walls, the floors, the rugs, the tapestries, and the statues. The prince himself was lying sideways in his throne, a goblet in one hand as he used the other to toy with a fingerful of his curls. Upon realizing the guard had entered he straightened himself and leaned forward,” Is that the thief?" "Yes, my lord." "Ask him to give me his parrots again, and I'll spare his life." "Certainly, my lord,” the guard turned to McKale,"The prince says-" "Yes, yes, yes, I bally well know what the prince said. I'm right here,"McKale wrinkled his nose, turning toward the prince,” And the answers still no. They're my parrots, dash it all, and I'm not giving them up to a...to a spoiled tyrant!" The prince frowned, gazing down as Cassander (who was once again crouching beside his throne),"What did we have him down for, Cassander?" "Hanging, my lord." "Well change that. Put him on the rack. Or the wheel,” he waved his hand dismissively,"Something creative, Cassander, you choose." "Yes, my lord." "What? Wait, no!" "Did he say something, guard?" "Yes, m-" "Did he say something, guard." "No, my lord." "Very well, take him to the executioner, and when he's done with, bring me his par- What is that!" The prince shot out of his seat, pointing across the throne room toward...something. McKale chanced a glance over his shoulder. There, slinking across the bloodied carpets, was a small, grey, cat. Not terribly large, but rather sleek looking. Most peculiar of all was that its eyes were an unusually bright green hue. McKale had never seen the likes of which on a cat before. With a squeak, the prince scrambled up on top of his throne,” What did I say about cats in my castle, Cassander! Get it out! Get it out!" "Of course, my lord,"Cassander flicked his eyes toward the guard,” Get the cat." "Me?" "Yes of course, you!" the prince squawked. Casting McKale a wary glance the guard let go of him and moved toward the cat. The feline arched her back and hissed at him as he approached. .:Love?:. .:We think it would be a good time to run:. "Oh, right-ho then,"McKale tucked Hush and Sakay under his arms and took off toward the nearest door. "Guard! Guard! The thief’s taking my parrots! Cassander, you get the cat!" McKale was already out the door by the time the guard shifted his attention from the cat to his latest escapee. Cassander, too, missed his chance, as the cat gave a blood curdling yowl as the guard raced passed her, skittered right around, and took off out the doors as well. "For god's sakes!" wailed the prince, storming down the stairs from his throne,” Someone find them and chop off their heads!" .:.:.::.:.:. Well, that wasn't exactly what Cy had had in mind. She would have preferred something a little more grand, but it worked, and that's all that really mattered. McKale skittered out of sight, turning the corner and racing down another hall. Cy hurried after him, hurrying forward before McKale had the chance to turn any more corners and lose her. She wheeled around the corner, smacking right into the back of McKale's heels. McKale let out an off and stumbled forward, catching himself before he fell head first into a quartet of angry looking guards. Grinning sheepishly he backed a way, barely avoiding trodding on Cy, and let out a yelp as he raced down the next corridor. The guards gave a shout and hurried after him. Cy rolled her eyes and wove between the heavy stampede of feet. What had she gotten herself into? McKale turned down another corridor and Cy scurried after her, managing to extract herself from the thunder of armored feet. Where the hell did he think he was going? Straining her muscles Cy shot forward, scurrying in front of McKale and skidding to a stop in front of him,” Follow me, you dunce!" McKale let out yelp, but fortunately didn't stop running. Cy nodded at him and hurried down an adjacent hall. .:The cat talked, Hush!:. .:Never heard of a talking, cat, Sakay:. .:You know, I don't think it’s a cat at all, Hush:. .:Oh?:. .:She has an uncanny resemblance...:. .:...to darling!:. "You mean, Cy?" "That's right, love..." "...Cy!" Cy rolled her eyes, completely ignorant to whatever had just passed between the trio, and made one final twist in the hall. She hurried through an open door, and McKale and the twins stumbled on in after her. Her body exploded into a larger form and she slammed the door shut, just as the thunder of the guards footsteps rumbled past them. With a sigh she leaned back against the door and slid to the floor,” Thank god." "Cy!" McKale let out a little gasp. He twisted his head around, taking in the room before flopping down on the floor as well,” You’re...well...you're a bally human!" Cy ran her fingers through her hair, casting her eyes upward at it,” Sort of." "And you've got breasts!" Cy's cheeks turned bright crimson and she threw her arms over aforementioned...parts,” Yes...well..." "Darling's gone and grown up, hasn't she, Hush?" "Certainly seems so, Sakay." "And it's a good thing too,” said Cy, frowning,” Or you'd all be on the chopping block right now." "Well in that case,"Sakay (or was it Hush?) leapt out of McKale arms and trounced up to Cy, smacking his beak against her hand. Hush (or was it Sakay?) hurried to his (or her) twin's side and did the same,” Thank-you, darling." Cy rolled her eyes,” We can't stay here long." "Right-ho, Cy, how do we get out?" Cy shook her head, fighting back a groan, and lifted a hand, pointing behind them. McKale and the twins twisted around to see what it was she was pointing at. There, not three feet away from them, was a nice, big, open window. McKale shot Cy a grin and darted to his feet, snatching the twins up in his arms. Cy got to her feet and hurried after them. .:.:.::.:.:. Prince Brennan draped himself back over his throne, staring into his goblet. He swished the white wine around a little before setting it on the arm of his throne and flicked it off, where it went tumbling to the marbled floor and down the podium stairs, splashing colorless liquid onto the rugs. He looked up as the main doors were flung open with a bang. He straightened up, lifting his chin expectantly,” Well?" "They escaped, my lord." "Hm," he turned to Cassander, frowning,” Bring me my cup, please, Cassander." Cassander rose from his seat, hurried down the stairs, and returned to the prince with goblet in hand. The prince snatched it out of his grip and threw it at the guard, catching him square in the chest and forcing him to stumble back a little. "What do you mean they escaped?!" "We lost them, my lord, they-" "Oh, shut-up!" Brennan slid out his chair and paced the length of the podium,” You know what this means, don't you?" "What, my lord?" "Well if they don't get executed, someone is going to have to in their stead,"Brennan whipped his head around to Cassander,"Make a note, Cassander, have guard- What's your name?" "Tristan, sir,” said the guard. "Have guard Tristan executed tomorrow morning." Cassander nodded, scribbling the order down on a piece of parchment. "Now,"Brennan turned back to the guard,” Throw yourself in the dungeon and give the keys to the executioner, would you? And make sure to do, Tristan, or I'll find your family and pluck all their eyes out to use as marbles. Understood?" Shakily, the guard replied,” Yes, my lord." "Good," Brennan sat back down in his throne,” I spilled my wine, someone get my some more. Red this, time, I think." After all, the servants were nearly finished washing his walls, hours a head of time. And he simply couldn't have that, could he?