Max

MAXINE

MEET MAXINE

She's tough, she's cranky, and she tells it like it is. She's Maxine, the flippant and saucy senior who is the most popular character in the Shoebox Greetings line. Maxine made her first appearance on a greeting card in 1986. Her bold personality and ability to "tell it like it is" make her enormously popular with people who enjoy the rebel Maxine. Maxine is not to be mistaken as cranky and bored with life. On the contrary, she is quite happy and has fun with life-probably because she says and does as she pleases. Among her favorite activities are gardening, golf, the beach, bicycling, and running other people's lives.

CARTOONS

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DIET ADVICE FROM MAXINE

After looking through as many magazines as I could before they threatened to kick me out of the bookstore, I was able to determine what the "experts" consider the perfect diet for someone of my age, height, ward, precinct, and trash-pickup day:

Breakfast: Unbuttered toast, orange rind, 1/4 cup of decaf coffee, and one fried egg (smelled, not eaten).
Lunch: 3 medium-length celery stalks, lick the lid of a skim milk bottle, and a raisin. Then for dessert...Oh, wait, the raisin was dessert.
Supper: Any combination of the above plus fat-free soy-based, plain yogurt with a cherry on top (cherry for decoration only).

If I actually ate what I'm supposed to, I'd lose weight, because I'd never feel like eating. Do the weight-loss wackos who come up with these diets actually try them?!

The only fad diet that's made sense to me is the protein-based diet. At least you get meat. Lots and lots of meat. Meat trucks pull up to your door. Birds of prey circle your garbage disposal. After three weeks on that diet, you begin to pack a club and look for mastodons.

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MAXINE LINKS

Ucomics.com has daily Maxine comics.

This site has several pages of Maxine's Maxims.

Visit Hallmark.com to send free Maxine e-cards and purchase Maxine items.

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