I was in one of those moods today where I was able to find the humor and bizarreness in working retail. It�s sad how much of a mall rat I�ve become. Everything revolves around who and what goes on there. �Freak! Did you hear that the girl at the photo printing kiosk got fired??� �Ooh, there�s a new dude working at Watch World�I wonder if he�s hot?! -- Nope he isn�t. Damn.� �Taco Time guy gave me free chips!� And my fave: �They sell porn at the newsstand now. Weird.�
Later --- I stopped writing because Sara called and wanted to go to dinner, so I went and met her. This woman was breast feeding. I�m all about a woman�s right to do so, and I know it�s healthier for the baby and everything�.but she didn�t attempt to cover it up, didn�t go to the restroom, nothing. It�s a dining establishment. People eat there. There are children there. I would just urge this woman to have respect for herself and others by gaining some privacy so I can focus on my meal and not her breast. Thank you.
Back to retail. What�s with people who try to return things that are used? It�s rude, and silly, and annoying. Do you buy a steak at the grocery story, take it home, cook it, eat half of it, then take it back and expect your money back? No. Do you purchase a new car, drive it across the country and back, then take it to the dealer and say, �yeah, it just doesn�t feel right. So I�ll just take a cash refund ok.� No. So why is it people will bring in a pair of shoes that their chef husband has worn in the kitchen which are caked with food and grease and are slightly more than disgusting and want their money back no questions asked. Come on! Here�s the rule of thumb in returning merchandise. Making a purchase is like a barter -- a trade. You give me money, I�ll give you shoes. If you for some reason change your mind, and want the money back, you have to return the shoes to me in the same condition I gave them to you. You want your money back in the same condition right? How big of a fit would you pitch if I tried to give you $10 less. HUGE! So why do you think I�m out of line to not take back your worn, gross, used shoes? And on a side note, sales people are not your slaves. I�m not there for you to push around, yell at, or mock. I can�t handle people who come in there with big tudes. What makes you think you�re better than me? I�m just doing my job. No it�s not glamorous or enlightening or dramatic. Well, hold up on that last one. Point is, when shopping in a retail establishment, please follow these simple rules:
1. When a sales person welcomes you into the store, acknowledge their presence. When we say �How are you doing today?� trust me we don�t mean �Hi, hey, you, sir, lady, you want to try this on, how bout this, huh hey, spend money on this and buy this, and empty your entire billfold in here. Ok you hear me hey you there.� We�re people. We�re just being nice. Please be pleasant back.
2. When you�re ready to be helped, remember that you�re not the only person on the planet. If a sales person is helping someone else, you need to be patient. Do NOT go up to them and shove shoes/clothing/merchandise in their face and demand help. That�s called interrupting, which my mom taught me was rude.
3. You�re in public. Please shower.
4. This is my job. Sad as it may be, I know everything there is to know about my store and what I sell. Do not question me. If I tell you we don�t have your size, do NOT ask �Well what size is that one?� I�ve looked in the back. We do NOT have your size.
5. Though we do decorate our store with very fun furniture, racks, counters, and chairs, it amazingly isn�t a playground. Children should not be allowed to jump on things, throw merchandise around, or leave any of their bodily fluids behind. In conjunction, if you do not control your child, be prepared for a wicked growl coming from the nearest sales associate. Do not take offense, but merely as a sign to control your offspring.
6. Before entering the store, check the name. Remind yourself where you are, and make a note that employees of this store work only for this store. If your Doc Marten�s blow out after 2 years and you want them to give you a new pair, go to them. We don�t work for Doc Marten. If you pay with a credit card and it�s declined, do not yell at us. We do not work for Visa, Mastercard, Discover, American Express, Diners Club, or your bank. I don�t know why your card doesn�t work, I�m simply following the directions on my computer screen.