I ended up working at the ladder factory again, but the atmosphere was entirely different this time around. I felt that I'd fallen backwards to this point in my life, and was fairly bitter about it. Furthermore, The Hell House finally collapsed at this time, and so my friends went back to normal. As they began moving back into my life, I felt fiercely bitter towards them as well, even those which hadn't directly wronged me in any way. However, it was my opinion that I'd moved on, and I felt nothing good could come from letting them in. My social life was online, where I was pleasant, while in person I was always quiet, short, and irate. However, I remained productive, always churning out drawings after work, or pausing at work to quickly scribble a poem or story concept onto a paper towel or receipt. Of course, I think all things I made in this time had lost an element of purity, and thus become more "real." I had a very erratic sleep schedule. It might be more accurate to say I never slept if I could help it. While working, I always performed my work silently, while my mind ran wild, assuming I was conscious enough for it to. Frankly, it's a wonder I never put a rivet through my hand or crashed my new car coming home.

Eventually, one of my old friends was employed at my side, so he became unavoidable, and I humoured his presence, though there were thick walls between he and I. Through him, my other old friends found their ways back in. This process was completed when what had been my best friend moved back. For whatever reason, I made a friendly movement towards him. He rejected it, thinking it was idle banter, and up the walls did go. However, it was undeniable that my bitterness was slowly retreating, and loneliness was showing its ugly head again. Terrified of the prospect of falling back into the pit I had only recently pulled myself from, I finally considered the prospect of leaping into a relationship for makeshift contentment. I continued telling myself I wouldn't sink to that level, but it filled me like a poison, and made the possibilities for a true love seem to exist in every girl. Thus, the next time a girl had it out for me, rather than shutting them out, I opened the door.