I couldn’t stop the tears from falling any longer, big heaving breaths and sobs. I couldn’t breath. I just let go a moment, to weak to stop myself.
It came ever so slowly, I hardly noticed. This strange feeling of warmth and comfort over comes me; starting in my toes and ending in my heart. Then the tears stopped and I could breathe again. Wiping my face slowly with my sleeve of my jumper, I looked up.
I wasn’t where I thought I was.
I was in the cemetery again, in my tree. Yet it was different. Everything was still and silent, as if someone had come alone and muted everything. I blinked but nothing happen. I bit my lip, slowly untangling my arms and reach for a branch next to me.
It didn’t feel the same as before.
The branch wasn’t rough in my finger tips, like before. It was soft and warm. Looking down at my hand, I wasn’t holding a branch of the tree at all but someone’s hand instead.
It was glowing.
I blinked again but it was still glowing. Looking up slowly I couldn’t breathe again. I couldn’t speak. I closed my eyes; it didn’t seem real at all.
But I was still there.
The glowing creature was still there. Blurred slightly so that I couldn’t recognize it, but it was still there.
As I went to touch it, reach out to it, it vanished.
I could here soft voices, though; my auntie and uncle.
I slowly moved, blinking as I opened my eyes. I snuggled further into my uncles’ chest, where I had fallen a sleep, a while back.
I wash of familiarity surfaced over me as my uncles wrapped his arms around my back. The smell of pizza was in the air, the dream momentarily forgotten.
“You would never guess who I bumped into down town?”
“Who?”
If I kept my ear to my uncles’ chest, I could hear the rumbling vibrations as he spoke, I giggled softly at the sound.
“Gail, I have never fully understood where that woman gets off telling me things she couldn’t possibly understand. God that woman makes me so angry sometimes, doesn’t know when to keep her mouth shut and out of people’s business.”
I could hear the pain in my aunties’ voice, as she moved around the kitchen. The pizza box making a hefty noise as she almost throws it down on the table with her bag and keys. She paused, like she was contemplating what to do next.
My uncle knew not to say something when my auntie was like this, she was better left alone. He rubbed circles on my bare back, moving a fraction or two to sit up slightly, his head resting against the arm rest so he could turn his head and watch her. I could only imagine her standing, leaning against the kitchen table, fighting tears back.
“I’m sorry.”
Her voice softened as she moved towards the couch, resting her hands on the back as she stood there leaning over. She let a deep breath out, letting go.
“Pizza’s ready, if you want it.”
“Joey, are you okay?”
He sat up fully then, moving me to the ground. He stood still seconds later as we stared at my auntie. I could see my auntie was soaked to the bone, how she got that way I didn’t know. I could see the lump in my aunties’ throat as she tired to swallow it. She was on the verge of tears, her cheeks already wet from previous tears, shred I don’t know when or was it the rain.
“I think…. I might just….”
Her voice cracked as her body started to crumble to the ground. Maybe it was her sneakers full of water that left water marks on the tiled floor or the fact her knees went weak and buckled under her but what ever the reason was, my auntie was one minute leaning against the kitchen table and seconds later a messed up heap on the floor, cradling her body around one of the kitchen chairs. I bit my lip, frowning as she started crying uncontrollably.
Climbing back onto the couch with only two attempts in the process, I leant against the back of it, watching as my uncle rushed to her side. Curious to what was really happening in front of me.
“Jo…Joey…sweetheart….”
He knelt down next to her trying to get her to look at him with his sweet murmurs, but I didn’t seem to work very well she just seemed to turn away from him more.
“Please look at me, sweetheart. Tell me what’s wrong…. please….”
I briefly wandered, as I ran my fingers along the seam of the back of the couch, how long my auntie and uncle had had the couch. With the faded fraying fabric I found there, I figured it must have been a while.
“I can’t do this… I can’t…. I’m not that strong… I can’t…..I miss..”
My auntie continued to mumble in incomplete sentences and my uncle tried to help, to at least calm her down a little. He pulled her arms gently away from the chair she was still holding, circling them with his own; he drew them to his chest before wrapping his arms safely around her now shivering body.
“Breath…. breath ….. Joey breath…… deep breaths…. that’s it….”
He started to rock to her body with his, her sobs subsiding. I watched as she clung to my uncle for dear life, his shirt wrinkling up in her hands.
I sniffed, feeling the tears welling in my eyes. I didn’t know, why or for what reason. My lips forming a prefect upside down happy face, my hands clenched at the couch fabric, I couldn’t handle the wash of emotions that were flooding my senses at that moment. I let out a wail before I could stop it.
I let out a second, screwing my eyes up into little balls, my uncle and auntie stood instantly. By the third high pitched wail I was in my aunties’ arms, my uncle just a breath away.
“Amy …. Amy …. Shh …”
My uncle’s fingers raked through my short hairs on my head as he continued to repeat himself in soft slow murmurs.
My auntie jingled me in her arms, making a slightly sickening feeling wash over me. I suppose if I could talk properly I would tell her to stop, but I can’t. I wail again, her arms tightening around me.
I could feel the wetness of my aunties clothes start to seep through mine, I shivered. It was like she had brought the coldness of my dream back.
I was alone and terrified.
I didn’t want her holding me anymore, I reached for him instead.
It took him moments for him to understand.
It took her longer, she held me so tight.
As soon as his arms were around me again, I felt safe and warm, again.
