Joey nodded, tapping the counter with her knuckles as she moved away to sit by the window. It had started to rain the moment she had left house a little while ago and Joey watched it has it continued with its steady pitter-patter. With the rain came the icky feeling of the humid air that hung around you. Reaching up she rubbed the back of her neck, willing the tension that was there to go away.
It had been only a week since the funeral, and still tears would form in the corner of her eyes, when she thought about it, the wounds still fresh and open. Having Pacey’s constant presence around her wasn’t making anything any easier. They were in this constant limbo, where everything was confusing and difficult to read. The mixed signals they gave each other probably didn’t help to much either.
“Number 23?”
Joey turned back to the counter, frowning when she saw someone else get up. She signed turning back to watching the rain.
They had ordered out every night, for the sheer fact that by the time it became dinner time, both Pacey and Joey were exhausted; pizza being the most popular choice by Amy, Chinese a close second. There was only so much a person could take of eating the same take out food. But since it was a Saturday night, Amy insisted because of that solo fact that they had to have pizza. Which lead Joey to one of the only pizza places in town, where second hit Main Street.
Joey could remember days when she was little, around 8 or 9, being told to go pick up the pizza from town. She would always grumble and moan about it, complaining that life wasn’t fair and why Bessie didn’t have to do it, but she secretly enjoyed it. It meant time to herself, time for her to think, time away from her troubled home life. She would find herself, as she skipped down the road, she would start singing or even talking to herself like there was someone talking back to her.
“Joey.”
Joey blinked, looking up to the person hovering over her. She smiled faintly, as the older woman sat down beside her. Her wavy blonde curls, with a tinge of grey, Joey could still recognize her in a crowd. The woman had always been family, when she thought she had none.
“I heard about Jack, how you holding up.”
“Taking one step at a time I guess, Gail.”
Gail smiled then, reaching a hand over to squeeze the younger woman’s arm, affectionately. Joey tried to keep her eyes level with Gail, but she found she kept looking down at where she had just been touched.
“How’s little Amy doing?”
“She’s fine.”
“Oh good, wouldn’t want her to be any more trouble for you. You know with everything that’s been happening lately. Pacey and you on the road for divorce, mind you I could see it happening a while back, what with your constant fighting. But having a three year old running round the house can’t be good, adding pressure; asking for trouble really.”
Joey could feel the tips of her ears starting to burn, with every word that came out of the older woman’s mouth. Clenching her fists in her lap, she stayed calm. Grinned and bared it, the best she could.
“I remember when Mitch died; Lillie would be such as fuss to look after in those first few weeks. If it wasn’t for Dawson, I kept thinking I would fall apart completely, you know. I suppose every death is different, for different people. I know how strong a person you are Joey, even if Pacey has left you, you’ll get through this.”
Joey took a death breath, wanting to say so many things to defend her self, her relationship with her husband and little Amy but she didn’t because she knew she would regret it later when she got a call from Dawson, wandering what the hell she had said to her; so she kept her mouth shut and grinned and bared it.
“Thanks Gail.”
“Oh sweet it’s alright, just stating the truth.”
Truth, Joey thought to her self, what the hell do you know about the truth. You would rather listen to the town gossip, than hear the real truth; because lets face it you have always been on that higher side of town ain’t that right Gail.
“Order number 24?”
Joey signed getting up, watching as Gail did to.
“My pizzas ready, so I better go.”
She smiled tightly motioning towards the counter where a girl stood looking quite tired of standing there, with her pizzas in her hand.
“You’re not having pizza dear, are you?”
“Well yes-“
Joey refined herself from rolling her eyes at the older woman, the stupidity of the question.
“It’s not good for Amy to have greasy foods like that every night, you know.”
“I know Gail. Look I better just get going before it gets stone cold on the way home.”
“Quite right dear, wouldn’t want that.”
Gail nodded in agreement, motioning Joey towards the counter. Joey smiled at the girl at the counter.
“How much?”
Joey reached into her back pocket, pulling out a few crumpled notes, smoothing them out in her free hand, against her jean leg.
“$12.55 for the two.”
Handing over a twenty dollar note, she smiled thankfully at the girl.
“I’m sorry to hear about your friend too.”
Joey smile faulted, as the girl slide the pizza closer to her, looking from the pizza and the girl ringer up the bill for the pizza.
“He use to teach me English at the high school. I just wanted to tell you he was one of the few people that taught me not to listen to the town gossip. I just thought you should know.”
Joey smile returned then; she shook her head, as the girl reached out to give her the change.
“Keep it. Put it towards your college funds or something.”
“Thanks.”
The girl gratefully pocked the tip, into her apron.
“No really I should be thanking you. That was one I of the first times I thought of Jack and not burst out crying.”
Joey smiled further, when the girl smiled too. Looking down at the name tag she wore, she met the girls’ eyes again.
“Anytime you need any help, don’t hesitate to come round okay, that last year they really pile it on you, you know.”
“Thank you, but I couldn’t do that-”
“Nonsense, Kailani. So I’ll be seeing you.”
“I guess so.”
Joey continued to smile to her self all the way home.
Pulling into the driveway, her smile slowly faded. Staring up at the house she could see all the things wrong with it. The well worn floorboards of the porch were in need of replacing as was the railing that had just started to come away in some places. The screen door had come off its hinges months ago, was propped up against the side of the house, waiting to be put back in place again.
It was as if looking up at the house was looking at his heart. All the pain she had put him through, jerked him around and miss treating him, when all she had wanted to do was take care of him for the rest of her life.
She took a deep breath to keep the tears at bay, Gail’s words still in the foreground of her mind; she took a step towards the house.
