Joey watched Pacey put the child into her car. The child was wrapped in blankets but still she managed to have a hold on him, not wanting him to leave her side, crying out, in sobs and whimpers if he did, which really made the task of getting her in the car all the more difficult.
All Joey could do was watch, helpless; playing the afternoon�s event over and over again in her mind. Wandering if there had been some sign, some indication she hadn�t picked up on, that could have stopped the child from wanting to drown.
Joey knew that was what the child had wanted do, as soon as she had seen her feet leave the jetty planks. Her heart had leapt with her, tightening she had held a hand over her chest, her eyes wide in amazement as she had disappeared under the water.
A second later Pacey had raced towards the water, a second more and he had been in the water too.
Gail had yelled to Lilly and Alex, arms waving for them to get back to shore. Most guests had moved towards the waters edge, hands rose over there mouths in shock. Wide-eyed they leaned against each other, whispering behind their hands.
Andie had missed it all, having been inside organizing her birthday cake. Only when Pacey had risen from the water, did she appear cake in hand, oblivious to the commotion by the water. She had been smiling, grinning from ear to ear, because really all you did when you celebrated your birthday was smile, and she had announced the cake was ready, but nobody had heard her, nobody but Joey; Joey being still frozen still at the table. Joey had glanced back at Andie, surprised she wasn�t by his side all ready; Andie had frowned before raising her eyes to the crowd at the water.
Few moments had passed, before the crowd had parted, Pacey cradling the small child to his chest, one of the other kids beach towel wrapped around her small frame, he had walked towards them.
Gail had held Lilly and Alex back, a frown of worry crossing her features.
Andie had moved towards him, effortlessly placing the cake down, she had tried to help.
�Pacey what happened? What can I do to help? Are you alright? Do you-�
Her questions had stopped, when he had brushed pass her, not even acknowledging her, and had kept walking. His eyes had been focused on one person and one person only.
Joey had found her feet then, as he had stopped in front of her. His eyes had searched hers, before focusing down on the small child in his arms. She had gulped at air then; his face had been dripping with creek water and so had the child�s but she had suddenly realized that she had been wrong about many things in the past few months.
She had taken his love for granted; his big pumping heart had been pushed, pulled and bent out of shape by things he�d had no control over and still he had stood in front of her silently pleading with her to help him, to take care of the small child with him, together.
Joey had finally understood what she wanted, in that moment. He wasn�t worth losing anymore.
Frowning now, she turned away from the car, to the other guests still mingling around the yard, she knew how much pain the child was still in, how much pain that was endured when losing a parent, a friend; she knew all to well the feelings the child could only been trying to cope with when she had jumped, earlier.
The child hadn�t wanted to be near her since the other night, when she had reached for her husband. That had hurt, hurt more than she wanted to admit to anyway, let alone her self.
Only moments later, she could only admit to her self that she still needed him, still wanted him, still loved him and wanted him back.
But the same thing had controlled her then, was probably controlling the child.
Fear
It was such a powerful word, that it could just make you shiver thinking about it.
Being afraid and being afraid of being alone were things that control you when you are at your worst and when the worst becomes you. It�s had to stop being afraid and scared of being alone, when you know it�s your fault that you are.
Joey was almost positive Amy, had the same fear and worries as her self. She knew she was powerless to stop it from controlling her, because she knew it had almost taken her life.
Almost
Joey shivered even though the air was still hot and sticky. Wrapping her arms around herself, she wished it would rain so it could take some of this pain she was feeling away or at least distract her from it.
As if the heavens were answering her prayers it started to rain again.
Untangling her arms from around herself she reached at the rain drops, looking up as if to say a silent thank you.
�Joey?�
Startled, she dropped her arms and turned to find Pacey leaning against the car, an amused expression gracing his features, as he watched her. She chuckled nervously, hugging her self again.
Joey smiled then looking right at him, determined face everything she was to afraid of before. Because she finally understood, what it all meant and because she loved him that much, she wanted him to understand everything, she hadn�t let him do before.
The rain continued to fall around them but didn�t seem to both either of them, as he continued to watch her.
