The colour of the bath was pink giving the illusion that I was bathing in pink water.
My uncle sat on the floor of the bathroom, leaning against the bath, an arm tucked between himself and the bath, his head resting softly on the hand that was holding the edge of the bath. He had his shirt shelves rolled up to his elbows and he seemed to be a million miles away for all he was focusing on was the little sail boat that he was tugging it around in the pink bath water.
�Here�s her towel, for when you decide to take her out.�
My auntie appeared in the door way, my pink Barbie towel held between her two hands. She seemed rather jumpy as she placed it down on the counter by the sink.
�What? Oh yeah, thanks�..�
And then she was gone again only to return a few minutes later with another.
�I think maybe, she might need another for her hair you know.�
Placing it on top of the other, she left even before he had turned to look at her. He signed splashing water at me, I giggled and splashed back.
�You have her conditioner right, the one that says �no tears� on the side because I would hate for her to get it in her eyes and then start crying all because you used the wrong conditioner.�
I could see my uncle roll his eyes.
�It�s two in one, shampoo and conditioner and it�s clearly labeled Amy�s, so I can promise you there won�t be any tears.�
He turned around her to show her the bottle that had been sitting close by but she was nowhere to be seen.
�Silly Auntie Joey doesn�t trust me.�
I laughed watching the yellow rubber ducky swim past, it�s little beck nodding back and forth as it circle around to the left, past the plastic green alligator with the moving feet.
�Do you think I should get her pajamas out now or later?�
Ha there�s the rubber ducky again.
�I don�t think it matters, Jo.�
Bye bye rubber ducky.
�I think I might get them out now just the same.�
She returned a moment later, he didn�t bother to turn around as she placed them on top of the towels, taking her time to smooth her fingers of the fabric, as if to get all the creases out of it.
I splashed the water, watching the rubber ducky move away from me.
�Maybe she would like her teddy when she gets out, I�ll go get that.�
It�s mocking me I can tell, laughing at me, bobbing back and forth across the bath, bouncing off the sides.
Can�t catch me I�m the yellow rubber ducky see.
Told ya, it�s agreeing with me.
�She�s having a bath; I don�t think she needs her teddy right now.�
I wander what yellow rubber ducky taste like, reaching for it. Grasping it in my hand, I almost doubled over, my free hand touching the slippery bottom, supporting me as I sit back again.
�Oh right.�
Yellow rubber ducky doesn�t taste much of anything, as I suck on the tail; the taste of pink bath water evident there.
�Are you alright?�
He swiveled around then to look at her. Glancing up at her myself, she looked confused and upset. Her eyes were shining when she looked down at him, as if she was just about to start crying.
�I�m fine.�
Letting go of the rubber ducky I wander what plastic alligator tastes like.
�Joey.�
It�s flimsy structure bending under the pressure of gravity above water. Shaking it, it doesn�t seem to be worth tasting, anymore.
�I�m fine, Pacey.�
She paused then, as I throw the green plastic alligator cross the bath, watching as it starts to sink, little bubbles surfacing above it.
Good riddance to badly structured bath toys.
�It�s been a long day and I�m just tired.�
He stood then, moving to stand closer to her, leaving enough space so they weren�t touching each other. I couldn�t see his face anymore, but from the way my auntie rolled her eyes, I could tell he knew it was more than that.
�I got really scared today�. �
�I did too� when Amy��
�I�m not talking Amy here.�
�You�re not?�
�No.�
I splashed the water, reaching out for the rubber ducky, again.
�I mean when she went under, my heart literally tightened in my chest but -�
�So did mine��
It�s a much better structured bath toy.
�I know which is why this is so much harder to say.�
Rubber ducky you�re the one.
�While I was afraid of what Amy tired to do today I was more afraid that I had lost you, lost my chance at this�.�
�Potter��
�No, I�m not done yet. Pacey I miss you, I mean really miss you. I miss your laugh the way it would come from such a pure happy place, in your heart. I miss the way you would come up behind me and scare the hell out of me. I miss being able to talk to you, I mean really talk. I even miss your lame jokes you use to use to make me smile when I was done. And that cheeky grin yours you have says you are up to no good�.�
�Jo�.�
You make bath time lots of fun.
��I miss your hands, your soft gently hands the way they would wrap around my body hugging me and keeping me safe. I miss being kept safe by you. I just simply miss you, Pacey. And as much as I kept reminding myself and telling you it�s over between us, I don�t want it to be over anymore. I want to fix this rift that I put between us. Most of all I want to be able to talk to you again, without being scared or afraid. I don�t want to be afraid anymore, Pace.�
�Neither do I�.�
�I know this doesn�t magically fix everything that went wrong between us. I was the one that pushed you away. I was the one that walked away�.�
�But I was the one that let you Joey, I didn�t stop you.�
�I know. I�m just so tired of being afraid, tired in my head and tired in my heart. I want to stop being afraid because I don�t want to turn around one day and have you be no there anymore. I just love you so damn much.�
