March 13, 2000

So there I was, stuck in this broken-down old shack with these three hulking goombahs. Each one of these dudes looked like he bench-pressed semi trailers on his off-time. Each one had one of those big-assed flashlights like you could beat someone to death with if you wanted, and one of them had this weird-looking gadget. I don’t know what the heck it was or what it was for, but it didn’t look very high-tech to me. It looked kind of like an old-fashioned Brownie camera. You know, the kind with the big reflector flash gun that uses flashbulbs, like you see in old movies. Except that this was in real bright day-glo colors, like bright orange & lime green & banana yellow, real pukey colors. It looked like a toy rather than a high-tech gadget. And the reflector part, instead of a flashbulb, it had this glowing red light that shifted back and forth from side to side like a big red eyeball. It was really creepy; it felt like the thing was looking right at you. And this one dude was holding this camera/gadget thing in front of him and going over every square inch of the room with it. He and the other goombahs were mumbling & grumbling & cussing the whole time…

And I’m standing there in the corner, right? Hoping they won’t come near me with that thing. I still don’t know what it was, but I had a feeling it was some kind of motion-detector or infrared thingy or something like that, and that the incredible hulks would be able to find me with it if they pointed it in my direction. I stood still, didn’t move a muscle, didn’t even breath while they’re going over the room with the thing. Then when they started coming towards me, I kinda tiptoed out of the way to one side, sliding my back along the wall & hoping & praying they wouldn’t find me. Then I ran outta wall. I was backed into another corner & they were coming real close. Just when I thought they had me, somebody called them from the open doorway, the one that had the tricky lock on it. I never saw who called them, but it sounded like it must’ve been their boss or something (let’s face it, all bosses sound alike.) Anyways, he told the goombahs to quit farting around & come back downstairs & get back to work. They grumbled & cussed some more, but finally they turned & went back to the door. I snuck along behind them, ‘cuz I thought maybe I could sneak through the door after them & see what was down there.

But I wasn’t fast enough, they got through the door too quick for me & closed it right in my face. So there I was, right back where I started. Standing alone in this dirty, dusty room in a broken-down old shack. And no way to get back to the motel, thanks to Sore Throat chickening out on me right when I needed him! So I quietly tiptoed to the front door, opened it & slipped outside & started walking. What the heck else was I gonna do? Hitch-hike? Hail a taxi? It’s not easy to do either one when you’re invisible.

I walked about a half a block when I heard a car passing me by. I looked up & I saw it was the van we rented, with Throat driving real, real slow. I chased after it & yelled for him to stop, but I guess he didn’t hear me. I know I was taking a big risk of giving myself away, but I didn’t care.  No way was I going to walk all the way back to the motel if I could help it. So I looked around for something to throw to get his attention. Fortunately, like I said before, this was a real cruddy neighborhood, with a lot of junk laying around in the gutters. I picked up a beer bottle & threw it against the side of the van. It bounced right off & then it broke on the street, but it made enough noise to get Throat’s attention & he finally stopped. He opened the door & got out to see what the noise was & I went up to him & told him it was me, that I threw the bottle to get his attention. Throat got all upset, saying the bottle dinged up the side of the van & that we’d have to pay for the damage, and on & on. So how else was I supposed to stop him? Besides, I told him, it was all his own fault for driving off & leaving me stuck there in the first place. Anyway, we both got into the van & drove off. I was still so pissed at him, I really chewed him out, asking why he took off running & left me there. He said he didn't take off, that he was just circling around the block so he wouldn’t arouse suspicion. And I said that if he was going to do that, the very least he could’ve done was to let me know about it, instead of just leaving me alone there.

And then he said something that really made me mad. Or rather, it wasn’t so much what he said, it was the way he said it. He got this real sneery, smirky look on his face and says, real sarcastic like, "Well, you’re the one who’s invisible. I figured you could take care of yourself."

And that’s when I punched him.

Read my next journal entry to find out what happened next.

Back to my journal
Back to Main