May 2005
Never been a nigga this good for this long.
I don't wear jerseys i'm thirty plus give me a crisp pair of jeans nigga button ups - Young Hova
Lets skip the hellos and get right to it.
You're old.
Not in the 'spiritual, headwrap, existential, old soul' sense. No, you're old in the 'decrepid, no longer hip, your ipod playlist is the old-school set at the club' sense. No, this isn't going to turn into one of those cute lists that read "you know you're old when..." Nah bitch, this is simple statement of fact followed by a reasonable pause to allow you to blink away the tears and swallow that lump in your old ass throat.
But that being said, who wants to be young? The only advantage youth has over age is ignorance. Having the ability to honestly say "Damn, how was I supposed to know that. I've never ________ before" is a fleeting luxury we all miss a little more everyday.
I'm a grown up for real - H to the Izzo
Here's something to add to the list of age-granted pearls of wisdom: Women are winning.
You say: How the hell is that? Broads still get paid less on average, domestic violence is poppin' like corn, and there's no way to look empowered while wearing a burka.
I say: Here's all the evidence I need-- Stippers are gully. I've witnessed naked women humiliate, emasculate, strip, smack, and beat men all while demanding payment. These guys weren't masochists seeking punishment and pleasure. They got bullied and jumped while other frightened men looked on.
Earning gaps are closing. Weapons now narrow the advantage that upper body strength grants us males. Women have mental fortitude and are better liars. Their minds are unburdened by historical and sociological demands that they be the stronger gender in all fields. Sometimes chasing first is a lot easier than holding off second.
Women are winning. And you're old.
Bad news for us men. But what the hell, we age better. Viagra can cure an old limp dick, but saggy ol' titties are just gross.